Harry, Seamus, And The Master Plan
by SilverWolf7007
Summary: Harry is allowing Seamus to set him up on a date. But first, they have to get Ron and Hermione together, survive class, find out if Draco and Blaise are together, and convince their friends that they are NOT a couple! Eventual slash, HPDM, SFBZ.
1. The Dream and the Deal

Yeah, I know, I'm starting yet another fic. I'm a bad girl. But it's okay, I've finished one! And I've already got the first five chapters of this one written already!  
  
Anyway, please tell me what you think!  
  
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Harry, Seamus, And The Master Plan  
  
By Silver Wolf  
  
Chapter One ~ The Dream And The Deal  
  
Harry woke up gasping for breath. As he recovered, the sounds in the dorms began to register in his mind. Ron rolled over in his sleep, while Dean mumbled something about rotten fish eggs in his sleep. Neville's snoring was loud and continuous.  
  
"Harry?" Seamus's voice said quietly. "Are you okay?"  
  
Harry sighed. "Yeah Seamus, I'll be fine. It was just a nightmare."  
  
"Wanna talk about it?" the blond offered.  
  
He considered. He had wanted to tell Seamus, Dean and Neville about Sirius for a long time. As a fellow member of the Order, Neville had been told, but the other two were still ignorant.  
  
"C'mon Harry, you can tell me anything. I mean, you told me you were gay even before you told Ron and 'Mione. Have I told them anything? No."  
  
Harry nodded. "All right. Come over here and I'll tell you."  
  
Seamus jumped out of his own bed and crawled onto Harry's. The dark haired boy pulled the curtains closed and cast a silencing charm.  
  
Seamus sniggered. "Gee, I never knew you felt this way, Harry."  
  
He rolled his eyes. "Grow up, Finnigan. I don't want to wake the others up."  
  
"Like they'd hear over Nev's snoring. Well? Get talking."  
  
"Really long story cut short, Sirius Black is innocent and my godfather, and Peter Pettigrew is Voldemort's left hand man."  
  
Seamus blinked. "Seriously?" As Harry began to laugh, he noticed what he'd said and joined in.  
  
"Yes, really. I found out in third year." He launched into the longer version of the tale, telling Seamus all he knew, including about Sirius and Remus's relationship.  
  
"So what was the nightmare about? I'm guessing something to do with your godfather."  
  
Harry frowned. "I'm not really sure. It was near dark, and I saw Sirius. And then a bunch of wizards and witches and Dementors showed up, and the Dementors dragged him away. I heard someone scream 'Nooo!' and then I woke up."  
  
"That's just weird Harry."  
  
"I know. I keep thinking that maybe it's a warning, but that's stupid."  
  
"Not stupid, just highly unlikely. But what if it was a dream about the past? When he was captured and put in Azkaban?"  
  
"Do you think it might be? That was my first thought, but everyone thought he was guilty, so who would shout out?"  
  
"Did Lupin think he was guilty?"  
  
"I think so. He didn't want to believe it, but not one living person on the light side other than Sirius knew that he hadn't been the Secret Keeper. Everything pointed towards guilty. If I hadn't seen Pettigrew with my own eyes I wouldn't have believed him myself."  
  
Seamus yawned, and then saw Harry do the same. "How about we sleep on it?"  
  
Harry nodded. "All right. And Seamus," he added as the other boy made to leave, "Can you not tell anyone about this? Hermione's worried enough as it is without wondering about prophetic dreams of the past, and Ron would tell me I'm being paranoid."  
  
He grinned. "I wouldn't dream of telling a soul, Harry. But because of that, you have to let me set you up with someone for the next Hogsmeade weekend."  
  
Harry frowned. "Seamus, that's not a good idea. I've told you......"  
  
"Harry, Harry, Harry," he began with a grin, waving away his friend's protests. "I swear to you that unless you both want to, you'll never have to see him outside of mealtimes and classes - "  
  
"Wait, who are you planning on setting me up with?"  
  
"Oh I dunno yet, Harry. I know the sexual preference of most students in the right age group......"  
  
"Due to the fact you've tried to sleep with most of them."  
  
"......And I know a few who'd jump at the chance to spend some time with you," Seamus continued, pretending Harry had never interrupted.  
  
"What about Ron and Hermione?"  
  
"You know the saying. What they don't know can't hurt them."  
  
"That might work, but I doubt either of them are planning on letting me out of their sight in Hogsmeade."  
  
"Tell them you're giving them some alone-time."  
  
"They aren't a couple."  
  
"Yet."  
  
"True. We ought to speed up our plan so that they are together by then."  
  
"Brilliant idea. See you in the morning."  
  
"Later in the morning, you mean."  
  
"Whatever."  
  
"Go to sleep, Seamus."  
  
"Yes Harry."  
  
"Seamus."  
  
"Yes Harry?"  
  
"Shut up unless you want me to cut off your privates and shove them up your nostrils."  
  
"Thanks for the graphic description. I'm going to have nightmares now."  
  
"Seamus!"  
  
"Heh heh. Sorry Harry."  
  
"You will be when you find your cock up your nose."  
  
"Er. Sorry."  
  
"Shut. Up."  
  
For once, Seamus listened. Mainly because he wasn't sure that Harry wouldn't carry out his threat.  
  
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Well, surely that wasn't so bad! Now pretty please review and tell me what you think! The more reviews I get, the quicker the next chapter will be posted!  
  
~SW 


	2. Breakfast Time Conversations

Well, I decided to post the next chapter. Aren't I sweet?  
  
Caz Malfoy ~ Well thanks! I'm glad you like it! And I'm writing my other fics, I swear!  
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Harry, Seamus And The Master Plan  
  
By Silver Wolf  
  
Chapter Two ~ Breakfast Time Conversations  
  
Seamus thought hard for a few minutes as he got dressed later that morning. Breakfast would be starting soon, and Harry had promised to wait for him.  
  
Setting up Ron and Hermione was something he and Harry had been working on all year and part of the previous one.  
  
Seamus had pulled Harry aside one day and told him that he was bisexual. Harry had responded by telling Seamus not to think he was coming on to him or anything, but he was gay.  
  
They spent that whole night talking, and after both getting detention for falling asleep in Transfiguration the next day, they talked some more and began to construct their master plan.  
  
It wouldn't be too hard. No, what Seamus was worried about was who he could set Harry up with.  
  
It had been something he'd been trying to do since beginning of fifth year. Near the end of the term, when he'd found out his friend's preferences, he hadn't been deterred. In fact, he'd just tried harder.  
  
But now, when Harry had finally consented, he was fresh out of ideas. Neville, Dean and Ron were straight, Colin Creevey was just plain creepy, a female was out of the question, the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws all had a boyfriend or girlfriend, Crabbe and Goyle were repulsive, most Slytherins wanted Harry dead anyway, and there were rumours about Blaise Zabini and Draco Malfoy's friendship being more than platonic.  
  
What Seamus needed was to see if those rumours were true. If they weren't, then he had the perfect person. If they were, then he'd have to resort to someone not attending Hogwarts, or worse, himself. No, he was out of the question. Harry was like a brother to him, it would just be wrong.  
  
"Are you coming, Imp, or are you going to miss breakfast altogether?"  
  
"Coming Felix." He exited the dorms and joined Harry on the way to breakfast.  
  
"So, have you come up with anyone yet?" Harry asked as they entered the Great Hall.  
  
Seamus shrugged. "One, but I need to research it a bit. If we're lucky, I might be joining you for a double date."  
  
"Nope. Bad idea. I can't eat in public near you."  
  
"Oops, I forgot about that."  
  
They sat at the Gryffindor Table and began breakfast.  
  
Just as Seamus was drinking his orange juice, Harry leaned over and whispered in his ear. "What makes you think I'd be caught dead in Hogsmeade with Draco Malfoy?"  
  
Seamus choked. After he'd caught his breath, he whispered hastily to his friend, who was calmly eating his toast. "Harry, how did you know?"  
  
Harry smiled mysteriously. "Well, I've noticed that you seem to have quite a liking for drooling over Blaise Zabini, you mentioned the chance of you going on a date too, and which other two Hogwarts boys have such a close friendship that people think they're shagging?"  
  
Seamus shrugged, and they both went back to their meals, mentally resolving to finish the conversation later, where prying ears wouldn't hear.  
  
Even though they both had very good hearing, neither of them picked up on the conversation halfway down the table between four of their closest friends.  
  
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"Have you guys noticed how close Harry and Seamus are?" Dean asked quietly.  
  
Hermione nodded. "They're always together, they're like Malfoy and Zabini."  
  
Lavender gasped. "Maybe they are!" At the other's curious expressions, she explained. "There are rumours that Malfoy and Zabini are actually a couple."  
  
Ron's eyebrow's shot up. "You think Harry and Seamus are shagging?"  
  
She shrugged. "They might be."  
  
Dean frowned in consideration. "You know, neither of them even said good morning to us today."  
  
Ron nodded thoughtfully. "They just walked straight past, whispering. They look like they're plotting something."  
  
"They do seem to be sitting rather close," Hermione commented. "I can see Malfoy and Zabini from here, and they're whispering and such too. There's so much similarity, it's not even funny! If those two Slytherins are a couple, then there's no chance of Harry and Seamus not being together."  
  
"And if Malfoy isn't shagging Zabini, then Harry and Seamus probably aren't shagging either," Dean concluded. 


	3. Meeting in Deserted Classrooms

Wow. I was stunned to see so many reviews for this! I didn't think it would get many.  
  
Caz Malfoy ~ Another chappy coming right up! Glad you like this fic so much!  
  
someonesgurl ~ You like it? Yay!  
  
Obsessed ~ Evil I am. But here's another chapter anyway.  
  
Sailor Grape ~ Definite conclusion jumping. Soon enough?  
  
NayNymic ~ Thank you!  
  
Rosa Crouch ~ Outcomes will be positive....in time.  
  
HeartoftheDragon ~ Goodie! Hope you keep reading.  
  
Salia ~ Yeah, I like Blaise too. Glad you think it's funny, that was part of the reason I wrote it!  
  
The Demonic Duo ~ Thanks! Okay, continue I will!  
  
Thanks for reviewing, you guys are great! I hope to hear from you all again...*Hint*  
  
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Harry, Seamus And The Master Plan  
  
By Silver Wolf  
  
Chapter Three ~ Passing Notes And Meeting In Deserted Classrooms  
  
Sitting in Charms, Harry considered how he was going to talk Seamus out of setting him up with his archrival. It was one of the blond's worse ideas, and that was saying something.  
  
Paying attention to Flitwick was becoming harder, because Seamus had a piece of parchment out, was scribbling on it, and muttering incoherently under his breath. This was somewhat irritating.  
  
Harry sighed in relief as Seamus shut up and handed him the parchment.  
  
'Felix,  
  
You know we need to work on R&H. So we need to discuss how we're going to do this. Also, we need to talk about Hogsmeade. Lunchtime, usual place?  
  
Imp'  
  
Rolling his eyes, Harry turned the parchment over and wrote back.  
  
'Imp,  
  
Yeah, I'll be there. One more word about a dragon and you'll have certain body parts stuck up your nose. Remember what I said last night?  
  
Felix'  
  
He quickly passed the note to Seamus as Flitwick turned to help Parvati with her charm.  
  
After reading it, Seamus just grinned at Harry. This worried the dark- haired boy quite a lot.  
  
**********************************************************************  
  
Seamus tapped his foot impatiently. Harry was already ten minutes late, and there was no sign of him. He sighed.  
  
Suddenly he heard a slight scratching noise, like a dog's claws on a stone floor. He sighed again, this time in relief. The scratching stopped and a second later Harry stepped into the deserted classroom.  
  
"What took you so long?"  
  
"Got held up," Harry replied shortly. Seamus knew that was all the answer he was going to get for now.  
  
"So, what are we going to do about Ron and Hermione?"  
  
"I thought we'd start with 'accidentally' locking them in a classroom, but I don't know how we'd pull it off."  
  
"I've got a brilliant idea."  
  
"Are you going to tell me?"  
  
"Not until I've discussed it with someone. We need outside help for this plan."  
  
"Who? Can't you at least tell me that?"  
  
"All right. Professor Lupin."  
  
"Am I correct in thinking that we're using his classroom?"  
  
"And with any luck, he can lock the door. All we've got to do is make sure they're the last ones out, and still inside when Remus locks the door."  
  
"Well, we've got Defence next. Talk to him after class."  
  
"I was planning on it."  
  
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Well what did you think?  
  
I've got problems. My dog is being noisy, play-fighting with her friend. My arms hurt, because I had 2 immunization needles today. And I'm sulking for no good reason.  
  
Review and cheer me up?  
  
Please?  
  
~SW  
  
PS Yeah, I know I'm pathetic. 


	4. Moony in a Sneaky Mood

Yay! I'm back with more! Oh, this WILL be fun!  
  
Kaori ~ Thank you! And I did!  
  
Usagi Serenity Yui Cosmos ~ Okay, now in positive thinking mode!  
  
amy ~ Thanks!  
  
beautifulelf ~ Thanks! Blaise will feature more in a few chapters time, promise!  
  
Caz Malfoy ~ Glad you like the nicknames! Wanna guess how they got them?  
  
TaraAmber ~ Oh yes, plotting Seamus and Harry are always fun! Will indeed be interesting!  
  
MorningDarkness ~ Thanks! I hurried!  
  
SoulSister ~ Thank you! I will.  
  
Sailor Grape ~ No, not a bad idea, but with Ron and Hermione? Who knows!  
  
jen ~ thanks! I am cheered up now!  
  
LoonyLoopyLisa ~ Glad you like!  
  
The Demonic Duo ~ Of course I continued! Thanks.  
  
Obsessed ~ Aw, your addicted? I love it when that happens to people! It's so fun! Wait, you aren't going to threaten me are you??? That's scary. I'm glad you like it so much! Oh no, I cant let you die! Here, read this quick!  
  
Thanks you guys, you cheered me up after the needle thing, and my friend Melissa was wondering why I was giggling in excitement while reading emails. Sigh.  
  
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Harry, Seamus And The Master Plan  
  
By Silver Wolf  
  
Chapter Four ~ Moony In A Bad And Sneaky Mood  
  
Harry sat at his usual desk, next to Seamus and behind Ron and Hermione. Defence Against the Dark Arts was supposed to have started five minutes ago, but Remus hadn't shown up yet.  
  
A minute later the door opened, and their professor walked in looking rather annoyed. And rather pink. And rather furry.  
  
Remus Lupin stood at the front of his classroom, covered from head to foot in long, pink fur that would have been better suited for a pink wolf.  
  
Seamus raised his hand. "Excuse me sir, but did you plan on coming to class like that?"  
  
Remus glared. "No. I would have thought that you had enough brains to work that out for yourself, Finnigan."  
  
"Who did it Professor?" Hermione asked.  
  
"Why don't you tell me?" he asked irritably.  
  
"Professor Lupin, your sarcasm, nastiness and irritability levels just flew through the roof. To be honest, sir, you sound like Snape."  
  
Remus slowly turned and looked at Harry. "Seriously?"  
  
"No, Snape-ishly. But it's true. You should know that I wouldn't joke about something so serious."  
  
As Remus's eyes narrowed at the last word, Harry realized his godfather was responsible for the werewolf's new fur.  
  
Harry quickly restored their teacher to his normal appearance, and the class proceeded normally.  
  
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Afterward, Harry stayed after class. No one thought this was unusual, because he'd been doing it ever since Remus had returned to teach the previous year.  
  
"So Harry, anything in particular you wanted to talk about?" Remus asked as he began piling up essays from the third year class.  
  
"Actually Moony, there is. It's very important."  
  
Remus put the essays down and looked up at him. He could see the devious glint in his eyes. "Important how? Need help with a prank? Homework? Love life?" He grinned.  
  
Harry rolled his eyes. "I need you to help me lock Ron and Hermione in this classroom after Defence tomorrow."  
  
Remus raised an eyebrow. "Do I get more of the story behind that?"  
  
"Seamus has decided that he's going to set me up with a date for the next Hogsmeade weekend. Ron and Hermione wouldn't let me go off without them normally, and I don't want them to know where I'm going."  
  
"Which has what to do with locking them in my classroom?"  
  
"Seamus and I decided to work even harder on the Master Plan."  
  
"Which is?"  
  
"Setting up Ron and Hermione as a couple. If they're together, I can just say I'm giving them some alone time and go off with Seamus, and then with this mystery guy that he wont well me who is."  
  
"Let me see if I've got this. You and Seamus are setting up Ron and Hermione, so that you can go on a date with some mystery guy. What's Seamus getting out of all this?"  
  
"He gets to fulfil his personal goal for Hogwarts; set me up with someone. He's been trying to for years."  
  
"I see."  
  
"So, are you in?"  
  
"On one condition: I want you to do something for me in Potions........"  
  
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I wonder what Remy wants Harry to do? *Smirks* Actually, I don't, but I'm sure you do!  
  
Please review, I'll post the next chapter soon!  
  
~SW 


	5. Hypothetical Situations

Would you believe that this story is now a total of twenty pages long? Not what's been posted, but what's been written. Isn't that cool?  
  
What's really cool is getting all your wonderful reviews!  
  
LoonyLoopyLisa ~ Glad you like, and you'll see! You think my Remy is weird? That's okay, he's supposed to be. At least he's not on anger management pills...  
  
:) ~ Thanks!  
  
Usagi Serenity Yui Cosmos ~ Yes, I am evil, and cliffies are becoming my speciality! I've been practicing with them, as I'm sure you've noticed!  
  
Caz Malfoy ~ Yes, embarrassment is forthcoming. Thank you!  
  
Haretsu ~ Yeah yeah, getting there.  
  
LovelyPsychopath ~ Thank you!  
  
Sprit ~ Well, something like that...well there's Snape anyway. Thanks, enjoy!  
  
NayNymic ~ Thanks! I know Remy's usually so....I dunno...calm and stuff! It really annoys me, because I see him as a partially crazy prankster. Glad you like him like this!  
  
Captain-Emily ~ See above for comments on Remus. Here's the next chappy!  
  
frizzy ~ Thanks so much!  
  
Dark-One Shadowphyre ~ You may dare to ask, but it would be more productive to read the chapter! :-)  
  
MorningDarkness ~ Oh yeah, Siri's gonna get it! In a few chapters time, anyway.  
  
Fanny chan ~ Very sneaky, yes. Thanks!  
  
Sailor Grape ~ Yes, pranks are way more important than homework! You'll see what Harry has to do.  
  
beautifulelf ~ Hi! Yeah, Remus is funny with pink fur. It'd be real funny to see him as a wolf with fur like that!  
  
Obsessed ~ Yes, you should be worried! If you have a liking for Snape of course. Hm, threatening to threaten me. I don't think I like the sound of that! *pouts* Okay, I'm over it! Here's the chapter, if only to avoid threats!  
  
Crimson Dreams ~ I will! Cliffy remedy!  
  
The Demonic Duo ~ I did so, and will keep doing so!  
  
TaraAmber ~ Aw, I have you curious? Hope this satisfies your curiosity!  
  
Thanks you guys! Keep reviewing! Please?  
  
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Harry, Seamus And The Master Plan  
  
By Silver Wolf  
  
Chapter Five ~ Potions, Pranks, And Hypothetical Situations  
  
"Potter, five points from Gryffindor for being late."  
  
"Sorry Professor Snape."  
  
"Well, sit down then!" Snape turned to the rest of the class. "As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted," he sneered, shooting Harry and evil glare, "The Potion we are making today is........."  
  
Harry tuned out Snape, knowing that he'd end up working with Malfoy anyway, and that the Slytherin would be paying attention. Harry had better things to think about than Potions, such as the mission Remus had sent him on.  
  
"Pairs will be Granger and Parkinson, Weasley and Crabbe, Thomas and Longbottom, Bulstrode and Brown, Goyle and Patil, Malfoy and Potter, and Finnigan and Zabini. Get into your pairs and start working!"  
  
Malfoy collected his things and made his way to Harry's table before Harry could move. "Were you paying attention, Potter?" he asked in a quiet voice, so Snape wouldn't hear.  
  
Harry shook his head. "Nah. Were you?"  
  
"Luckily. It's just a simple dreamless sleep potion. We're only making it because Pomfery's out."  
  
"Didn't we make that last year?"  
  
"Yeah. Anyway, let's get to work. You ground those dried frogs eyes."  
  
Harry nodded, getting to work. He wondered if Malfoy might cover for him when he carried out his task. Probably not, but was it worth a try?  
  
"Hypothetical situation, Malfoy. You're working with your enemy, a friend asked your enemy to play a prank on your professor, and asks you to cover for him. Would you?"  
  
"Depends. If it were you asking me, then yes. Weasley or Granger? No. Was that really a hypothetical question?"  
  
Harry stirred the unicorn hairs into the potion. "No. I'm on a mission."  
  
"For who?"  
  
"A Marauder."  
  
"I'm sorry Potter, but I could've sworn you said Marauder. Surely you don't mean Marauder as in the Marauders Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs?"  
  
"Shhhh. Snape really doesn't like them. And yes, I'm on a mission for Moony."  
  
"What do you want me to do?"  
  
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Seamus and Blaise's potion had reached the stage where it only needed to boil for a bit, and that left them with nothing to do.  
  
Seamus didn't know what to say to Blaise, and it seemed that Blaise didn't have anything to say to Seamus.  
  
Luckily, the need for conversation vanished when something rather interesting happened to Snape.  
  
The Potions Master was no longer wearing his black robes, but instead was clothed in a bright green tutu. Seamus personally thought it complimented his blue hair and pink skin.  
  
The entire class was laughing hysterically, until Snape got over his shock.  
  
"SILENCE!"  
  
There was.  
  
"Whoever did this," Snape began in a poisonous voice, "Will have detention for the rest of their time at Hogwarts. Potter, did you have anything to do with this?"  
  
"Of course not sir," Harry said indignantly. "Why would you think that?"  
  
"Malfoy, did Potter do this?"  
  
"No sir. Potter was stirring the Potion. He couldn't have."  
  
Snape continued to rant, until the end of class. Everyone, Slytherins included, grabbed their belongings and rushed out the door as fast as possible.  
  
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Gee, isn't this interesting? Well, at least now you know what Remus wanted Harry to do.  
  
Well, now you've read the fic, you can review! Pretty please?  
  
Next chapter will be posted soon.  
  
~SW 


	6. Ron The Seer: Crystal Ball Images

Hi all! I'm back! Yes, another chapter!  
  
Caz Malfoy ~ I'm guessing you found it funny? You sure laughed a lot!  
  
LoonyLoopyLisa ~ Glad you liked the hypothetical situation. Sorry it confused you; it confused me a bit too and I had to rewrite it twice so it made sense!  
  
Haretsu ~ I don't know if Snape in a tutu is cliché or not yet. All I have to say is that it's Remus's fault.  
  
Leena-and-Earlie ~ Thanks!  
  
TaraAmber ~ You could see him? Me too. Glad it satisfied your curiosity!  
  
Usagi Serenity Yui Cosmos ~ Glad you thought it was funny! If you want your friend to draw it, go ahead! I'd like to see it!  
  
Dark-One Shadowphyre ~ Glad you liked! Yes, there were a few hints there...  
  
SparkySparkles ~ Thanks, glad you like it!  
  
silver_tears ~ Oops. I hope that coffee didn't make too much of a mess! I wrote!  
  
Chicofdeath ~ I'm glad you like the fic, and the nicknames!  
  
Fanny chan ~ Er, you see what? And what's with the evil laughter?  
  
Sailor Grape ~ Ah, well, it's a long story, with Snape and Remus. And too bad Colin's not in their class! Hm, maybe someone else had a camera....  
  
Semmerie ~ Thank you! I don't know where I get the ideas, they just pop up ant the most inconvenient of times. Like the middle of class.  
  
;) ~ Perhaps not this chapter, but the tutu story will come out eventually! Um, I'm trying to write longer chapters, but it's not really working.  
  
The Demonic Duo ~ Hm, I hope you don't get murdered. That would be bad.  
  
Obsessed ~ Still giggling? Maybe there is something with Draco covering, or maybe he just worships the Marauders? Thank you for not threatening me.  
  
beautifulelf ~ Glad you like the prank! I think it'd be funny. The Gryffindor bravery is cancelled out when faced with a severely pissed off Potions Master, who is Head of Slytherin. See, it's a balance. Or something. Er, I'll shut up now.  
  
Thanks for reviewing! Hope to hear from you all again! *hint*  
  
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Harry, Seamus And The Master Plan  
  
By Silver Wolf  
  
Chapter Six ~ Ron The Seer: Crystal Ball Images  
  
Seamus was the first to catch up with Harry. He grabbed his arm and dragged him into an empty classroom nearby.  
  
"Harry, how did you do it?" he asked excitedly. "I know you did, but how?"  
  
"How what, Seamus?" Harry asked amusedly. "I used simple charms, one that even you should know."  
  
"Harry! How did you get Malfoy to cover for you?"  
  
"Easy. I asked."  
  
Seamus stared at him in disbelief. "You asked Draco Malfoy to help you with a prank on Snape, and he said yes." He snorted. "As if. Did you blackmail him?"  
  
"Seamus! I only mentioned that I was on a mission from a Marauder, and he all but volunteered."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah. One of these days I'm going to ask him where he found out about the Marauders."  
  
"Oh. Anyway, what did Lupin say about the Plan?"  
  
Harry grinned. "He gave us the go-ahead. I just had to play that prank on Snape."  
  
"This is brilliant, Felix. Ron and Hermione will be a couple before we know it!"  
  
"The way we're going, Imp, they'll be a couple before they know it."  
  
"Yeah. Anyway, since you already know who I'm setting you up with, do you want to help me find out if he's seeing Zabini or not?"  
  
"Yeah, why not?"  
  
"Harry, do you actually already like Malfoy or something?"  
  
Harry feigned innocence. "Of course not, what on earth gave you that idea?"  
  
"Maybe the fact that you seem so eager to find out whether he's with Zabini."  
  
"Or maybe I'm just helping so that if they are, I don't have to go through with it."  
  
"One or the other. Anyway, we'll be late for Divination."  
  
"Wonderful. Another lesson of death predictions."  
  
"You never know, she might start on your love-life next."  
  
"I bloody well hope not!"  
  
************************************************  
  
Harry, Seamus, and Ron, the only Gryffindor boys in their year still taking Divination after 'The Incident' last year, were sitting at the table they usually sat at, near the back.  
  
Pavarti and Lavender were up the front as usual, and the Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws, and Slytherins taking the class were in between. Which suited the three boys fine, as well as their female housemates.  
  
Trelawny was lecturing them on crystal balls for the third time in her misty voice, so Harry and Seamus decided to put part of the Plan into action.  
  
Harry grabbed a piece of parchment and his favourite self-inking quill, writing quickly on it and passing it to Ron. After Ron had commented, Seamus snatched it.  
  
~So Ron, I've been wondering: Do you like any girls in this class?  
  
^Harry! Of course not!  
  
-Ah, so you like one of the guys then Ron?  
  
^Of course not!  
  
~Well then Seamus, that means that whoever he likes isn't in this class!  
  
-Is it Padma Patil then?  
  
^No!  
  
~Never mind him, Ron; anyone with half a brain knows that you like............  
  
-Who? Who?? Who???  
  
~Hermione!  
  
^I do not!  
  
-Then why are you blushing?  
  
Ron didn't write anything else, he instead buried his head in his arms, mumbling something about 'idiotic Irishman' and 'stupid bloody Golden Boy'.  
  
Harry and Seamus sniggered and then pretended to pay attention to Trelawny's crystal ball rant, which had been the same the last two times.  
  
When it came time for them to acquire a crystal ball, Ron got up and grabbed it without argument. He looked into it.  
  
"See anything?" Seamus asked in a bored voice.  
  
Ron's eyes widened in shock. "Actually, yes!"  
  
Harry and Seamus immediately sat up and stared at him, waiting for him to continue.  
  
"I see.........two figures, walking. They're heading towards..........a dragon! It's eating them! I can see their faces!" He looked up and grinned. "It's you two!" He began to laugh.  
  
Harry and Seamus rolled their eyes and both punched him in the arm.  
  
The rest of the lesson after Ron's joke was uneventful, and they were all glad to leave when the time came.  
  
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Sooo. What do you think? A quick update? Yes.  
  
Eventually, I plan to have a flashback or something to enlighten you all as to what 'The Incident' was. Know for now that it involved Divination class, Neville, and a lot of screaming.  
  
Please review!  
  
~SW 


	7. Food for Plotting, or Medical Cure All?

Hi. I hate to say this, but it might be a week before I post the next chapter. It might not, of course, but I think this is the last chance I'll get to go on the net before next Sunday.  
  
Caz Malfoy ~ Glad you think it was funny! And about 'The Incident', I could write it and post it separately. What do you think?  
  
Fanny chan ~ Oh okay. I know, it may have been a bit boring and stuff, same with this one. But I swear, Ron and Hermione will be locked in Remy's classroom in chapter nine.  
  
SparkySparkles ~ Draco will be back soon!  
  
Usagi Serenity Yui Cosmos ~ I'll be continuing the other fics as soon as I kill the evil writers block sitting on my shoulder saying don't write. This one, on the other hand, will continue to be updated regularly until I finish it, I hope.  
  
beautifulelf ~ Draco knew about the Marauders because - wait, I cant tell you that! Harry and Draco will get together - wait, I cant tell you that either! You'll see!  
  
Sailor Grape ~ Exactly my thoughts, Neville and screaming is essential for an Incident. They weren't being mean to Ron exactly, they were just irritating him a bit. Someone might prank them, but I doubt it'll happen all that soon.  
  
LoonyLoopyLisa ~ Glad you liked the joke, and that I caught your interest with the Incident thing.  
  
Icy Flame ~ Thank you so much!  
  
Haretsu ~ Aw, you think so?  
  
LovelyPsychopath ~ Thanks! Glad you like it! Actually, I like your penname.  
  
MorningDarkness ~ Well, if you're trying to concentrate on a test and Snape is dancing in your head wearing his tutu, then it's bad. Otherwise, it cant be that terrible!  
  
Thanks for reviewing, I love you guys!  
  
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Harry, Seamus, And The Master Plan  
  
By Silver Wolf  
  
Chapter Seven ~ Chocolate, The Food For Plotting, Or A Medical Cure-All?  
  
"Remind me again, what's the next part of the plan?" Harry asked Seamus later that night after dinner.  
  
"We have to work out how to get them locked in the Defence classroom, preferably without them thinking that it was our fault. And then we need to do some spying on Malfoy and Zabini."  
  
"So what do we do if Plan A doesn't work, and they just get royally pissed off?"  
  
"Well duh Harry, we go to Plan B."  
  
"Seamus, we don't have a Plan B."  
  
"Not yet."  
  
They were silent for a few minutes, lost in thought.  
  
Suddenly Harry grinned. "I think I've got a perfect Plan B."  
  
Seamus pouted. "You aren't going to tell me, are you?"  
  
Harry smirked. "Not yet, no, but I will tell you that it involves Marauders, a Malfoy, and preferably some Honeydukes chocolate."  
  
His partner in crime laughed. "In other words, it's still in the planning stages."  
  
"Duh. Ron and Hermione still haven't figured out that I only eat chocolate voluntarily when I'm plotting something."  
  
"I still don't get that. Why not? Chocolate's the best food there is!"  
  
Harry grimaced. "Yes, I know. Unfortunately, Madame Pomfrey thinks it's a cure-all. I haven't had a visit to the Hospital Wing not involving chocolate since beginning of fifth year."  
  
"That sucks."  
  
"I know. Are we going back to the Common Room now? Ron and Dean are probably wondering where we are."  
  
"Yeah. Let's go, before they decide we're shagging or something."  
  
***************************************************  
  
Hermione and Dean were watching a game of chess between the most evenly matched chess players at Hogwarts.  
  
Well, they were supposed to be watching. In actual fact, they were discussing two of their best friends.  
  
"Where do you think Harry and Seamus are?" Dean asked.  
  
Hermione shrugged. "I don't know. Library maybe?"  
  
"Harry and Seamus? Yeah right, 'Mione."  
  
"Fine then, maybe they're both off meeting some secret girlfriends."  
  
"Nah. I reckon they've found themselves an empty classroom to shag in or something."  
  
"Maybe. Think we should ask them when they get back?"  
  
Dean laughed. "Oh, I can see that! 'Hi Seamus, Harry. Say, were you two off shagging in a deserted classroom?' That'd go down real well!"  
  
Hermione rolled her eyes and slapped him on the arm. "Real funny, Dean."  
  
"I know."  
  
Neither of them got a chance to continue to speak, because the portrait opened and the subjects of the conversation came in, sniggering about something.  
  
"Hah!" Lavender exclaimed suddenly. "Checkmate, Ronald. You lose."  
  
Ron stared at the board in shock. Then he groaned. "Damn. That's seven times out of ten that you've beaten me!"  
  
Hermione laughed. "Well, now we know who's better at chess!"  
  
"I'm half asleep," Ron said defensively. "It's getting late."  
  
"Sure thing Ron," Seamus said as he sat down. "It's that really late time of eight o'clock. I'm sure that it was your exhaustion that caused you to lose."  
  
Harry laughed as he joined them. "Actually, I think it was because he's too busy staring at - eep!" Harry ducked behind Hermione as Ron tried to kill him. "Don't hurt me!"  
  
"Keep your mouth shut then."  
  
"Yes Dad," Harry said to his best friend, rolling his eyes.  
  
Seamus sniggered. "Harry, you know perfectly well that Ron would make a terrible father."  
  
Harry nodded sadly. "You're right, Seamus. Ron's more of a maternal type."  
  
Ron sighed in exasperation.  
  
"Oh really you two, must you tease Ron so much?" Hermione asked disapprovingly.  
  
Harry and Seamus glanced at each other and grinned. "Yes Mum," they answered in unison.  
  
She tried to slap them both, but they ran.  
  
That night, the Gryffindors were treated to the unique sight of Prefect Hermione Granger chasing pranksters Harry Potter and Seamus Finnigan around the Common Room, shouting all the ways she was going to torture them when she caught them.  
  
Luckily, both boys made it to their dorm, and Hermione wouldn't enter that room unless her life depended on it, as the sixth year Gryffindor boys were famed for being messy.  
  
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So anyway, if I wrote up 'The Incident' and posted it separately, who would read it? It wouldn't be long, just one chapter. About 1000-2000 words. Just wondering.  
  
Please review!  
  
~SW 


	8. The King and Queen of Matchmaking

Okay, so I lied. Now is the last time I'll be able to post until next Sunday.  
  
I'll tell you a secret though, the next chapter is five and a half pages long, the longest so far!  
  
Caz Malfoy ~ Yay! Thank you!  
  
Cherry-Bay ~ Thanks! Glad you liked the Snape thing! They will eventually!  
  
LoonyLoopyLisa ~ Hehehehe, thanks. I thought it'd be funny too.  
  
Bridges over de Dwarswetering ~ Thank you so much, glad you like it!  
  
someonesgurl ~ thanks!  
  
Sailor Grape ~ Alright, I'll write the Incident. Hermione has a tendency to chase people. And oh yes, there will be chaos. Actually, there will be CHAOS.  
  
SparkySparkles ~ Thanks. Oh no! *Gets dog to make adorable puppy eyes* please don't cry because there's no Draco! If I'd read your review before writing the chapter he'd be in it. Sorry!  
  
silver_tears ~ Aw, thanks! Your praying must have worked, because I'm updating!  
  
MorningDarkness ~ Glad you'll read it. Neville will have a few, uh, problems. Hahaha!  
  
TanisaFyre ~ Thanks! Okay, I did!  
  
Thanks guys! You rule!!!  
  
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Harry, Seamus, And The Master Plan  
  
By Silver Wolf  
  
Chapter Eight ~ The King And Queen Of Matchmaking  
  
The next morning Harry walked down to breakfast with the rest of the sixth year Gryffindor boys and Hermione.  
  
He, Dean, Neville and Hermione were listening to Ron and Seamus arguing about Quidditch teams. Ron was, of course, adamant that the Chudley Cannons were the better team, while Seamus was arguing back just as vehemently in favour of the Ballycastle Bats.  
  
Harry leaned over to whisper in Hermione's ear. "I don't know why Seamus is arguing for the Ballycastle Bats."  
  
"Why not?" she asked, surprised. "I thought they must be his favourite team."  
  
"Nope, he favours the Appleby Arrows."  
  
"Weird."  
  
"Yeah. I think he's just doing it to contradict Ron."  
  
"You're probably right, Harry," Dean said with a grin. "Seamus hates the Bats."  
  
"Hey 'Mione, what have we got first?" Harry asked as they entered the Hall.  
  
She looked at her schedule. "Care of Magical Creatures, then Defence."  
  
They sat down at the table, and began breakfast. Harry glanced at his watch, seeing that they had half an hour before they had to leave, and leaned over to talk to Seamus.  
  
"Eat quickly, we still haven't figured out the last part of the plan."  
  
"Oh yeah. Any ideas about that?"  
  
"Not really. Now eat, Finnigan, I don't want to be here all morning."  
  
Ten minutes later, both Harry and Seamus had finished breakfast. "Come on then, Harry. Didn't you want to show me that book in the library?"  
  
Harry stood up. "Yeah. See you guys in class."  
  
"All right, don't be late!" Hermione warned.  
  
"We wont," the two answered, leaving the table.  
  
* * * * *  
  
"Er, Harry, I wasn't serious about going to the library," Seamus said, following his friend through the halls.  
  
Harry rolled his eyes. "No, really? You moron, we're going to the Room."  
  
"The Room? As in, the same room that we - oh. That Room."  
  
"Yes, that one. We're meeting with the King and Queen of matchmaking."  
  
"Who are they?"  
  
"Not telling."  
  
"At least tell me who they set up!"  
  
"My parents."  
  
"Oh. I'm guessing they can't be too bad at it then."  
  
"Did I mention that my parents hated each other at the time?"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Mum was a Slytherin, Dad was a Gryffindor."  
  
Seamus was impressed. "They must be good."  
  
"Oh they are, believe me."  
  
Two minutes later, they entered a small room to the side of the library.  
  
"Harry, are you going to tell us why you wanted to meet us here?" a voice asked.  
  
Harry grinned. "Maybe Padfoot, and then again, maybe not." He turned to Seamus as the man stepped out of the shadows, followed by his female friend. "Imp, I'd like you to meet my godparents, Sirius Black and Samantha Snape. Guys, this is my friend Seamus Finnigan."  
  
"Harry."  
  
"Yes Sam?" he asked, smiling sweetly.  
  
"What do you want? Help with homework? Need advice on dating? A prank?"  
  
Sirius looked disgusted. "Samantha! How could you put pranks last?!"  
  
"Easily, Sirius."  
  
"Anyway," Harry interrupted quickly, to prevent an argument. "We need your expertise in the area of matchmaking."  
  
Both adults suddenly looked more serious. "I'll help," Sirius began, "As long as you aren't trying to set a Longbottom up with a Parkinson."  
  
Samantha winced. "Same here. That is an impossible task, even for us."  
  
Seamus laughed. "Don't worry about that, it's not even a cross-house match."  
  
"It's Ron and Hermione," Harry added.  
  
Sirius grinned suddenly. "You've got half a plan already, don't you?"  
  
Harry nodded. "Remus has agreed to lock them in his classroom 'accidentally' during lunch. We just need a way to keep them there for a few extra minutes so he gets the chance."  
  
"Speaking of my brother, where is he?" Samantha asked. "He told me you wanted to see him as well."  
  
"I don't know where he is. I wanted him here because he needs to know what we're going to do."  
  
"What are we going to do, anyway?" Seamus questioned.  
  
Sirius exchanged a smirk with Samantha. "You, my dear boys, aren't going to do a thing. Sam and I will take care of it."  
  
"Let me rephrase that then," Seamus said with a grin. "What are you going to do?"  
  
"Oh no, I can't tell you that! It'd ruin the surprise!"  
  
Harry glanced at his watch. "Oh crap. We gotta go, Imp. We'll be late if we don't."  
  
"Hagrid won't mind, Harry, not when it's you."  
  
"Yeah, but I want to see Malfoy's face when he sees what Hagrid's got today!"  
  
"You know?"  
  
"Yes Felix, I do. Let's go, this is gonna be fun!"  
  
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*Hides* Please don't hurt me.....  
  
Er, sorry about that, but at least you've got something to look forward to! Right? Right???  
  
Please don't come after me with pitchforks.  
  
Please review!  
  
~SW 


	9. Its the Grim!

Whew. Okay, lets start on the (completely true) reasons this chapter is SO late. Well, I went to my dad's for Easter, and he doesn't have a computer. Also, I had to re-write the first part of this chapter, because the previous version sucked.  
  
Please please please don't hurt me!!!  
  
Caz Malfoy ~ Why thank you. And I'm afraid there wasn't much attacking of Draco. And I'm getting to the H/D part, pwomise.  
  
Usagi Serenity Yui Cosmos ~ Thanks. *Blinks innocently* but Sevvie doesn't have a sister. *Smiles*  
  
Fanny chan ~ Sorry. It's late. I know. Sorry. Very interesting, Ron and 'Mione trapped in a room.  
  
LoonyLoopyLisa ~ Now really, not once did I say that Sam was Snape's sister. And I can't tell you what Hagrid's got, it'd ruin the surprise!  
  
Cherry-Bay ~ Sorry 'bout the cliffy. I'm glad you like it anyway. And no, Snape does not have a sister.  
  
TaraAmber ~ Aw, thanks for dropping the pitchfork! And it's a bit longer than I thought, nearly six pages!  
  
TanisaFyre ~ Oh yay! Finally someone who got it right! No offence to the rest of you, offence only to me and my story. You gave me an idea with the ferret thing. Thank you!!!  
  
SparkySparkles ~ *Laughs* Yes, there is Draco. There is lots of Draco, especially for you!  
  
The Demonic Duo ~ Oh, I AM glad that you weren't murdered! Thanks, glad you like!  
  
Sailor Grape ~ A very crazy plan. Sorry I made you wait so long, I really am, and I'm very glad you like it so much!  
  
MorningDarkness ~ I'm sure it's funny. At least, I hope so. I feel a little sorry for Draco though...  
  
Beth Weasley ~ Glad you like the Potions thing!  
  
silver_tears ~ I hate elves too, but they DID take away that scary pitchfork. *Hands you repellent for elves* Does it help?  
  
Icy Flame ~ Thank you thank you thank you! Glad you like Seamus, so do I, but I can never see enough of him!  
  
Obsessed ~ Uh oh. A pitchfork. This cant be good. Well, Yoda didn't train me, and neither did Dumbledore. I'm afraid that it was Snape and Remus. It's not the computers fault, don't kill it! Sorry it took so long!  
  
beautifulelf ~ Thanks! I will get them together, now stop that sobbing and read!  
  
Chapter is dedicated to everyone who has ever reviewed it, because you guys are brilliant! And I am SO SORRY that the chapter was SO late!!!  
  
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Harry, Seamus, And The Master Plan  
  
By Silver Wolf  
  
Chapter Nine ~ It's the GRIM!!! RUUUUUUUUNNNNNN!!!  
  
Looking back, it had been one of Harry's better ideas. Remus had agreed immediately, because it would annoy his sister.  
  
On the other hand, it had been quite difficult to convince Sam that the Gryffindor and Slytherin sixth years were not the spawn of Satan, and that they hadn't been too hard to teach since Harry and Draco had called a truce the year before.  
  
Sam's final and main argument was that she had never taught before, and hadn't the slightest clue of what to teach them.  
  
Harry had remedied that by telling Sam what Hagrid had been planning for that lesson.  
  
When the half-giant had told Harry, Harry hadn't been able to stop laughing for half an hour while imagining the expression on a certain classmate's face. Hermione and Lavender had considered sending him to the Hospital Wing, but Seamus had protested in Harry's defence, saying that white wasn't his colour. Dean had agreed with him, but Ron said they'd colour his straightjacket red. When Harry calmed down, he hadn't spoken to Ron, Hermione and Lavender for three hours.  
  
Harry told Sam this, and when he'd explained the significance, she'd laughed for two minutes, agreed to teach the class, and ran off to the library to brush up on her knowledge of this particular creature.  
  
**********************************************  
  
Hermione had wondered about the expectantly curious look on Seamus's face, and about the knowing smirk Harry was wearing.  
  
Of course, when she'd found out what they would be studying for the next three lessons, she had an awful lot of trouble suppressing her laughter, and Ron hadn't even bothered.  
  
The expression on Malfoy's face was priceless, as was the growing anger and embarrassment as the professor listed all the similarities between it and it's less magical counterpart.  
  
When they'd been given one to look after in groups of four for the lesson, Hermione had joined Ron in laughter as Malfoy was handed a pure white one.  
  
On the other hand, when the professor had grouped him with Zabini, Harry and Seamus, they'd stopped laughing............at least until they saw the identical smirks the Gryffindor boys were wearing. Then they just grabbed their own and were grouped with Pansy Parkinson and Neville.  
  
**************************************************  
  
Draco didn't think he'd ever been quite so embarrassed in his entire life. Not even when he'd been thirteen and caught trying to turn his uncle into a tomato, and his father made him wear a frilly pink dress and a big bow in his hair all through the Christmas holidays.  
  
The insults from the stupid creature didn't bother him. The problem was, Jarvey's are like overgrown ferrets, and theirs was pure white.  
  
Potter seemed to find it fairly amusing, but his and Finnigan's laughter was nothing compared to Weasley, Thomas, Granger and Brown.  
  
Draco decided that those four were up the top of his 'Must Prank ASAP' list, right up there with his uncle, Snape, Snape's wife, Hagrid, Fudge, Pansy, and THAT DAMNED JARVEY!!!  
  
Blaise gave him a worried look as he treated the Jarvey to his 'glare of death'. "Are you okay, Draco?"  
  
"Fine, Blaise," the blond replied through gritted teeth.  
  
Blaise backed away carefully, deciding that his friend wasn't in a good mood. No, it was more like a 'royally pissed off' mood.  
  
**************************************************  
  
Seamus and Harry hadn't really been paying attention to their Jarvey and group, as Ron, Hermione, Pansy and Neville's Jarvey was having a lot of fun insulting Neville, and Pansy had told it top shut up several times. Both she and Neville looked ready to throttle the thing, while Ron and Hermione were listening to something that Sam was saying.  
  
So both of them were quite shocked when Zabini backed into them.  
  
"Oh, sorry Finnigan, Potter. I was so worried about getting away from Draco that I stopped paying attention to where I was going."  
  
"Why were you getting away from Malfoy?" Seamus asked.  
  
"He's a bit pissed off at the moment."  
  
Harry stopped paying attention to them as they continued to talk, and decided to rescue his rival from the evil white Jarvey of doom. Besides, Sam had just told them to take the creatures back to her, but Malfoy was still trying to make the Jarvey burst into flames on the spot by glaring at it.  
  
"You all right there, Malfoy?"  
  
The Slytherin jumped about a foot in the air, and turned to him. "Bloody hell Potter! You scared me!"  
  
"Sorry, I was just going to tell you that it's time to put the demon critter from hell back in it's box."  
  
"Oh."  
  
The Jarveys were returned to Sam, and the students left for their next class. Harry and Seamus shared an evil smirk. Plan A, Phase One was ready to begin.  
  
****************************************************  
  
For the first time all term, the door to Remus's classroom was locked. The sixth year Gryffindors stood outside, waiting for the door to open.  
  
Harry wasn't as patient as his friends. He stepped forward and knocked. There was no answer.  
  
A minute later, they heard someone walking up the corridor, and turned to see their Professor and a large black dog walking towards them.  
  
Parvati screamed. "It's the Grim!"  
  
Lavender slapped her across the back of the head. "Don't be an idiot, Pav."  
  
She blushed. "Sorry."  
  
The rest of the class were holding back their laughter.  
  
"Morning class. And yes, there is a reason for the door being locked. I needed to talk to you all before we go in."  
  
Harry and Seamus glanced at each other, and then turned back to Remus. The werewolf winked at them.  
  
"Anyway, today we're working in pairs, which I've chosen for you. When I open the door, I will direct you to your appointed seats and you will work on the task that is written on the piece of parchment at your table. The pairs are: Hermione and Ron, Harry and Seamus, Lavender and Dean, Neville and Parvati."  
  
Remus unlocked the door and pushed it open, before directing them to their seats.  
  
Harry and Seamus sat down to see not one, but two pieces of parchment on their table, and that one was an envelope.  
  
Harry grabbed it, opened it and pulled out the letter, allowing Seamus to read it over his shoulder.  
  
'Harry & Seamus,  
  
Yes, there is another purpose to this whole odd class set-up.  
  
Moony, Sam and I talked for a bit, and then decided on our course of action.  
  
Ron and Hermione's chairs have an adhesive charm that'll go off when the rest of you move, and they wont be able to move until half way through lunch.  
  
Also, there's a timed silencing charm around their table that will begin at the end of class, and disappear as soon as Moony locks the door, so no one knows that they're unable to leave.  
  
Good Luck,  
  
Padfoot'  
  
Seamus grinned. "Brilliant. That man is a genius."  
  
Harry smirked. "I know. For the first time this year, I can't wait for Defence to be over."  
  
"Felix, how are we going to know what's going on in here?"  
  
"Why it's obvious, my dear Imp. I've got a charm set up in here so we can hear them. We've got to be in Moony's office, but he said that's okay."  
  
"Good. Now, what's this assignment all about?"  
  
Harry grabbed the other piece of parchment and they read it.  
  
'Harry and Seamus,  
  
I've decided to be kind and not make you do anything too strenuous, I was going to give you a task that'd take all month, but I can't be bothered thinking one up.  
  
Now, all I want you to do is write a combined essay on Hippogriffs. No, you CAN'T ask Hagrid, but I can't help it if you want to write to someone you know who owns one, can I?  
  
Hand it in this time next week, when everyone will be handing their's in.  
  
Professor R J Lupin'  
  
Seamus raised an eyebrow at Harry. "What's that last part about? Who do you know who has a Hippogriff that isn't Hagrid?"  
  
"Padfoot. He escaped on Buckbeak, remember?"  
  
"Oh yeah!"  
  
The lesson went by painfully slow for Harry and Seamus.  
  
"All right class, you worked well today. I suggest you leave quickly, as I'm locking the door in exactly one minute."  
  
The class left. Harry couldn't resist taking one quick peek at Ron and Hermione, who were trying to stand up and gain someone's attention, but failing. He grinned, and heard Seamus laugh behind him.  
  
They left quickly.  
  
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*An evil laugh is heard in the distance*  
  
SYLVAN: Oh buggerit, she's done it again!  
  
TOM: Done what?  
  
REMUS: Left the poor readers with a cliffy and run off laughing evilly. You really should pay attention more.  
  
TOM: Well sorry, but I was trying to stop Voldie from taking over the world.  
  
VOLDEMORT: You only get away with that because you're my past self. I can't kill you if I want to rule the world.  
  
SALAZAR: What are you doing here?  
  
SYLVAN: Yeah, I thought you were taking over the world.  
  
VOLDEMORT: I am. But there's this annoying brick that's taking over Scotland.  
  
SYLVAN: Aw buggerit. Sound's like Brickie's finally got off his rectangular arse to do something.  
  
REMUS: *suspicious* How do you know it's rectangular?  
  
SALAZAR: *Sniggers* Seen it, I'll bet.  
  
SYLVAN: *Rolls eyes* Actually, you morons, he's a brick. What other shape could it be?  
  
TOM: *Clears throat* Hello people? We're here for a reason, remember?  
  
SALAZAR: Oh yeah! Anyway, please don't kill SW, she cant help it, the cliffys have taken over her brain.  
  
REMUS: It's true. But review, because we all know you loved the fic!  
  
*Rolls eyes* Why must you guys insist on being here?  
  
TOM: We love to annoy you. Duh.  
  
Oh yeah. Well, please review, and maybe my muses will NEVER SHOW UP AGAIN!!!  
  
MUSES: *Run away as fast as possible*  
  
*Sighs happily* Peace and quiet....  
  
~SW 


	10. Arguments, Chocolate and Animagi

Hi! This chapter didn't take anywhere near as long as the last one, because I've been writing dedicatedly on at least one fic each afternoon since Monday. Meaning for three days. With any luck I'll be able to keep it up for a while!  
  
Her Higness Hermione ~ Well here's more! *Hides* Um, don't you think nailing me to the computer for a month is a little drastic?  
  
Fanny chan ~ heh hah. The title got your intrest? Glad you liked the Jarvey!  
  
Tanisa Fyre ~ Thank you, thank you! I hurried!!!  
  
LoonyLoopyLisa ~ Hermione and Ron locked in you shall see! But of course, Moony's just a little less obvious about the favouritism thing than Severus is. *Is still pointedly ignoring the caps*  
  
Anya Malfoy ~ Thanks!  
  
Usagi Serenity Yui Cosmos ~ *Glances around* Nope, no apocalypse. But yes, Sam is married to Sev. Glad you like the coupling! And of course Sirius and Remus are together! I updated soon to remedy the cliffy!  
  
Sailor Grape ~ Thanks for forgiving me! Oh yeah, Ron and 'Mione were pretty angry. And I'm glad you appreciated the Jarvey thing!  
  
Caz Malfoy ~ Of course, if it had to be a Jarvey, it had to be white! And Padfoot and Moony are sneaky little furballs when the mood strikes them, cant they?  
  
PeachDancer82 ~ Thank you!  
  
Dravizta ~ Thank ye!  
  
MorningDarkness ~ I got it up asap, please keep any and all rash somethings to yourself for now. Hm, isn't 'Or else' a threat? I hate threats....  
  
slytherinwannabe ~ Whew, okay. Sam is married to Severus, and she's Remus's sister. Sirius and Remus are a couple. Um, that's about it, actually.  
  
beautifulelf ~ Glad you like! Thanks!  
  
Megs ~ *Blinks* very long review you've got there. I agree with Voldie being Harry's grandfather, I've always liked to think so, but I dunno about Lily and James's houses. I'm just making it up as I go along. They might have all been Hufflepuffs for all I know!  
  
Megs ~ Thanks, and yeah, later Ron and 'Mione might just figure out who did it...  
  
someonesgurl ~ You're friend acts like Seamus? Odd.  
  
silver_tears ~ Oh no, I was sure that elf repellent would work! Um, try this! *hands you a gun with which to shoot elves* Good luck!  
  
The Demonic Duo ~ Glad you liked the adhesive charm. Sleep is good, but you'll have to be awake to read this chapter!  
  
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Harry, Seamus, And The Master Plan  
  
By Silver Wolf  
  
Chapter Ten ~ Arguments, Chocolate and Animagi  
  
Harry and Seamus quickly joined Sam, Remus and Sirius in the Defence Professor's office. Sam's eyes were glued to a device she had placed on Remus's desk, while Sirius and Remus were quite happily snogging on the couch.  
  
Rolling his eyes, Harry soaked the both of them with water from his wand. The two looked up and glared at him. He smirked. "That's what my Aunt Petunia does when there are horny dogs shagging on the front lawn. I just look a leaf out of her book."  
  
Seeing that she now had a very pissed off werewolf and Animagus glaring at the Boy-Who-Lived, Sam cleared her throat. "Boys, you can kill Harry later. Don't you want to know how our little plan is turning out?"  
  
The four males in the room turned their attention to the device on the desk. It looked like a microphone, and they could just hear the voices of Ron and Hermione emitting from it.  
  
"Can you turn it up, Sammy?" Remus asked his sister.  
  
She shrugged. "I can try." She fiddled with it for a minute, and then they all heard the voices of two very annoyed Gryffindors.  
  
"Honestly Ron, don't you think if I knew how to get us off these chairs, I'd have done it by now?"  
  
"I don't know. How am I supposed to know how a woman's mind works?"  
  
"At least you're acknowledging that I'm female now, Ronald." Harry winced.  
  
"Oh come off it Hermione! That was two years ago! Get over it!"  
  
Seamus turned to Harry. "What was that about?"  
  
Harry quickly told them about the Yule ball in fourth year.  
  
They stayed in the office for another ten minutes, listening to Ron and Hermione arguing.  
  
"They're not even trying to figure it out," Sirius said in wonder. "Even James and Lily put aside their arguments to try and work out who had done it, and how."  
  
"You used this one on Jamie and Lils?" Remus asked curiously.  
  
Sirius and Sam just nodded.  
  
Another minute later, Sam decided to leave them and go to lunch. Sirius wasn't far behind her.  
  
And after listening to Ron and Hermione fight for another five minutes, they were quite glad when the spell wore off.  
  
"Ron! We can move!"  
  
"Thank Merlin. Did you do it?"  
  
"No, I think the spell was timed. Quick, check the door."  
  
"Bugger, it's locked."  
  
"Oh honestly Ron! Alohamora!"  
  
"It didn't work."  
  
"Really. I never would have guessed, thank you for making such an astute observation."  
  
Seamus snicked. "I never thought I'd hear 'Mione resort to sarcasm."  
  
"Well, I guess Professor Lupin must have a special locking charm on the door."  
  
"For once you're probably right, Ron."  
  
Remus rolled his eyes and waved his wand at the desk. A second later there was a plate of chocolate biscuits and a jug of chocolate milk. "Want some?" he asked, pouring himself a class and grabbing a biscuit.  
  
Harry and Seamus grinned happily and helped themselves.  
  
By the end of lunch, the three of them had eaten and drank so much chocolate that they were quite hyper.  
  
Hermione and Ron hadn't stopped arguing once, and Remus decided to let them out, because he had to set up for his next class and they needed to get to Charms.  
  
Harry and Seamus hid under the invisibility cloak to watch as Remus unlocked the door.  
  
"Ron, Hermione! What are you two still doing here? Hopefully nothing illegal."  
  
Hermione and Ron glanced at each other, never having met a hyper Remus before. The werewolf was practically bouncing off the walls.  
  
"Er, sorry Professor, but we got locked in somehow," Hermione said. Ron nodded.  
  
"I see. In that case, you'd best get off to class. Bye!" he called, entering the classroom and grabbing the chalk.  
  
Harry and Seamus ran up to Gryffindor Tower, to beat the other two and get their books.  
  
***********************************************  
  
"Just because we failed to get them together is no reason to give up!" Harry announced to the occupants of Remus's office.  
  
Seamus nodded solemnly. "Absolutely right."  
  
"Well I hate to miss out on all the fun," Sam said, "But Sirius and I have a job to do for Dumbledore. I hope you aren't too disappointed.  
  
"Nah," Harry said with a grin. "Besides, we've still got Moony!"  
  
"Damn right!" the werewolf said with a grin. "And I'm not hopeless at the sneaking around thing."  
  
Seamus and Harry nodded enthusiastically.  
  
Sirius and Sam shared a look. "I think they're hyper," Sirius said.  
  
Sam nodded. "Moony probably got out the chocolate again."  
  
"If you two don't mind, we are still here."  
  
"Sorry Harry."  
  
"And so you should be!" Remus exclaimed.  
  
Ten minutes later, Sam and Sirius had said goodbye and left.  
  
"Now, while we're working on Phase Two, we also need to get the dirt on Malfoy and Zabini," Harry said, bringing the other two back to the important business.  
  
"What for?" Remus asked.  
  
"Simple, Moony. Seamus still has to set me up with someone. He chose Malfoy."  
  
Remus laughed. "Have fun."  
  
"And he wants to know about Zabini."  
  
Seamus glared at him mildly. "But anyway Remus, we need your help. There's no way we can, unless............" his eyes widened as his words faded.  
  
"Unless what, Imp?" Harry asked. Then, he grinned. "Perfect idea. But Malfoy doesn't strike me as a cat person."  
  
"So? Felix, it's the perfect plan!"  
  
"What is?" Remus asked. "And while we're at it, where'd you get the nicknames?"  
  
Harry sniggered, and Seamus rolled his eyes. "It's a very related subject."  
  
"Explain," Moony commanded, in his most teacherly tone.  
  
"Harry and I are Animagi."  
  
"I'm a cat, and Seamus makes an adorable fox."  
  
"Actually, we've both got two forms. My other one is an owl, and Harry's is a wolf."  
  
Remus blinked at them. "I see. But the nicknames?"  
  
"Harry's cat form is exactly like Felix the Cat."  
  
"And I've been calling Seamus Imp since fourth year. It just stuck. Besides, foxes are very impish."  
  
"Wait a second. Two forms???"  
  
They both nodded. "Is that bad?" Seamus asked.  
  
Remus shook his head, smiling. "Nah. Sirius's second form is actually a white wolf. I've only got one."  
  
"You're an Animagus?"  
  
He laughed. "Yes Harry, I am. A hawk."  
  
"Cool."  
  
"So what was the plan?"  
  
Harry grinned. "I sneak into the Slytherin Dorms as a cat, and I find out whether Malfoy is shagging Zabini or not."  
  
Remus smirked. "Fair enough."  
  
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So? IS Malfoy shagging Zabini? Will Ron and Hermione ever get together? Who knows?  
  
Anyway, please review!  
  
~SW 


	11. The Five and The Cat

Hiya! New chapter is now written!  
  
Usagi Serenity Yui Cosmos ~ Yeah, you're right, I do know. No one is taking over my body to write. Plan 2 is in the planning stages.  
  
Kk ~ I wrote fast! Thank you!  
  
silver-sparklze ~ I ended it there because it was fun. I have nothing against you being green. Green is good. Green is Slytherin. See?  
  
TanisaFyre ~ Well, Draco and Blaise are plotting SOMETHING.  
  
Caz Malfoy ~ Glad you liked the classroom thing. *Gets possessive* No, you may not have my hyper Remus. He's mine, dammit! Ahem. Okay, I've calmed down now. *Grins* You may have a clone though.  
  
Sailor Grape ~ Well, thank you! Ron and Hermione argue a lot...Will be lots of crazy schemes. And Harry the cat is in this chapter!  
  
Serenitas ~ Thank you! And yes, laughing is so Gryffindor, unless it's evil laughter! Glad it had you smirking!  
  
NayNymic ~ Yes, it would be awful if they were shagging. Draco's always wanted a cat, but Lucius is allergic....  
  
happy kid ~ Thanks!  
  
snapescookiejar ~ Well, is now soon enough?  
  
quizmaster ~ Glad you like Harry being friends with Seamus.  
  
cat ~ Wrote as soon as I could!  
  
SparkySparkles ~ Thanks, and even more Draco this chapter!  
  
LoonyLoopyLisa ~ You're probably right about Draco and Blaise, but you never know.... Argh! Not the hamster! Oh, it's not vicious? That's okay then. Please take note that I have a cat who would love to eat it.  
  
anna may ~ Sorry the chapters are short! Glad you like!  
  
silver_tears ~ Yay! The elves are gone! You're welcome for the gun, I'm glad it worked! REMUS: *Hands you chocolate biscuits* Because you asked. SW: See, isn't he such a sweet werewolf? REMUS: Grrrr.  
  
She-Who-Is-Not-To-Be-Psyc ~ The tension is KILLING you??? That's bad. I'm guessing you like it then?  
  
Her Higness Hermione ~ Keep writing I will.  
  
Obsessed ~ I got to work, keep your adhesive charm for later! Wait, that was a threat! *Feels threatened* Oh dear.  
  
Ice Lupus ~ Fun indeed.  
  
Thanks for reviewing you guys!  
  
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Harry, Seamus, And The Master Plan  
  
By Silver Wolf  
  
Chapter Eleven ~ The Five and The Cat  
  
Meanwhile, Ron, Hermione, Dean and Lavender were sitting on Lavender's bed in the sixth year Gryffindor girls' dorms, discussing their own plan.  
  
"We need to find out if Harry and Seamus are really a couple," Hermione began. "Any ideas on how?"  
  
Lavender shrugged. "Not really. What we really need is someone who's an expert in these sorts of things. The problem is, I can't think of anyone."  
  
Dean nodded. "We need someone who's used to spying on people."  
  
"Well, we could steal Harry's invisibility cloak," Ron began. "And.............oh. Never mind, that'll never work. He'd notice it was gone. And we can't borrow it, because he'd ask why." He turned to Hermione. "Any brilliant ideas, brainy one?"  
  
Hermione thought for a moment. "Not really. Can any of you think of someone who could spy on them for us? Remembering that they have to be trusted to keep all this a secret."  
  
There was silence for a few minutes.  
  
Dean finally spoke. "I can't think of anyone."  
  
"Me either," Hermione admitted.  
  
"Maybe we'll just have to do it ourselves," Ron suggested.  
  
"What about the Five?"  
  
The other three turned to Lavender looking confused. She rolled her eyes.  
  
"You know, that group of third years? Natalie McDonald, Stewart Ackerly, Eleanor Branstone, Emma Dobbs and Malcolm Baddock?"  
  
The confusion cleared.  
  
"Do you really think they're up to it?" Dean asked.  
  
Hermione laughed. "Of course they are! This is the same five kids who managed to find out about the Halloween dance last year, and the whole Secret Santa mess was their fault."  
  
"Not to mention the singing Valentine mix-up," Lavender added. "They're pretty sneaky."  
  
"In that case," Ron said. "We need to talk to them, and soon."  
  
Dean smiled. "Leave that to me. Go down to the library. I'll see you there soon."  
  
The four left the girls dorms.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Draco was still in a bad mood. After the Care of Magical Creatures fiasco, he had suffered through one of the most boring History of Magic classes he'd ever attended (and that's saying something), before going to lunch. One of the fourth years had 'accidentally' managed to overturn a jug of pumpkin juice onto his lap, which he cleaned up before returning to the Common Room.  
  
Blaise had then beaten him five times at chess in a row, and they'd gone to their afternoon classes.  
  
Transfiguration had been a disaster. They'd been turning snails into owls, and Pansy's wand had been knocked off course by Vince's owl. She'd hit Draco with the spell, turning her friend into a bright pink kangaroo.  
  
He'd been transfigured back and excused from the rest of his classes.  
  
Draco glanced at the clock from his favourite armchair in the Slytherin Common Room. It was about the time for lessons to end, so his classmates would be back in a few minutes.  
  
Deciding that it would prevent more humiliation if he weren't there, he went up to the dorms and sat on his bed.  
  
Five minutes later, Blaise stepped inside, saw the expression on his best friends face, and turned on his heel to leave.  
  
"You don't have to go Blaise, as long as you don't tease me."  
  
The dark haired boy nodded and sat on his bed. "I wouldn't dream of it, Draco."  
  
"Sure you wouldn't."  
  
They sat in silence for a minute, before getting out their homework.  
  
After a while, a loud 'meow' from the doorway startled them both. Looking up, they saw a medium sized black and white tomcat watching them with emerald green eyes.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Because they were from four different houses, the Five (as they were called) tended to hang out in neutral territory, such as the library or the Great Hall.  
  
Which was why they were currently lounging around in a deserted classroom that they had convinced McGonagall to let them use.  
  
Emma sighed. "I'm bored."  
  
"Me too," Eleanor added.  
  
"So you're just going to whine about it, when we could be doing something useful?" Stewart demanded.  
  
"We haven't had a lick of any interesting gossip worth checking out all month," Natalie said irritably. "I need something to do!"  
  
Malcolm smirked. "Well, I did hear something today. Nothing for us to check out, but it's funny."  
  
"Oh?" Eleanor said hopefully.  
  
Emma giggled. "We got to the Common Room after class to drop off our books, and we heard some of the sixth years talking."  
  
"Apparently," Malcolm continued. "Pansy Parkinson accidentally transfigured Draco Malfoy into a pink kangaroo."  
  
The other three processed the thought for a moment, before they all fell about laughing.  
  
A minute later they heard someone clear their throat behind them. They turned to see Dean in the doorway.  
  
"Hi Dean," Natalie said with a smile. "What are you doing?"  
  
He grinned. "Actually guys, I have an assignment for you."  
  
The Five were instantly paying close attention.  
  
"What is it?" Stewart asked.  
  
Dean smirked. "Come with me to the library and we'll tell you."  
  
They left the room and arrived at the library in record time.  
  
Hermione, Ron and Lavender were at Hermione's usual table in the corner, and there were six seats left. Dean took one and was joined by the Five.  
  
"Now," Hermione began. "Here's what we want you to do........."  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Harry sat down in the doorway and licked his paw, pretending to ignore the two boys watching him from inside the dorm.  
  
"Blaise, whose cat is that?"  
  
The dark haired boy shrugged. "Don't know. Is it wearing a collar?"  
  
Draco stood up and walked over to the cat, before turning to face Blaise. "Nope. I'm going to ask in the Common Room. If it's not anyone's, do you mind if I keep it?"  
  
Blaise grinned. "I know perfectly well how much you've been wanting a cat, so I'm not going to stop you."  
  
Harry followed Draco as the blond walked down the staircase to the Common Room. He hadn't counted on Draco wanting to keep him. He wondered briefly if he could make a run for it.  
  
Nope, probably not. He'd be stopped before he could get to the door, and even then he wouldn't be able to open it. Bugger.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Natalie stared at the sixth years in shock. "Let me get this straight. You want us to spy on Harry Potter and Seamus Finnigan, to find out whether or not they're a couple."  
  
"And you want us to spy on Lisa Turpin and Padma Patil to see if they're single," Malcolm continued.  
  
"So that you can set them up with these girls, and have a way of keeping track of them," Stewart finished.  
  
Lavender nodded.  
  
"You do realize that you're asking us to spy on the two most successful pranksters in Hogwarts since the Marauders, including the Weasley twins," Eleanor commented casually.  
  
Hermione sighed. "Yes we know, but the last thing they're going to expect is to be spied on. We really need to know."  
  
Emma smiled. "Do you want us to try to find out who got you locked in Lupin's classroom earlier today as well?"  
  
Ron grinned. "You can if you like. Will you have the time to?"  
  
Natalie laughed. "Of course. Even if we have to wait a while. You never know, it might have been Harry."  
  
Ron snorted. "Yeah right. The day Harry does something like that to us is the same day Draco Malfoy gets a cat."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Having determined that his new cat was ownerless, Draco took him back to the dorm to figure out a name for him.  
  
Ten minutes and six hisses later, Draco was stumped. "Hey Blaise, help me name this cat, would you?"  
  
"Why?" Blaise stepped over from his bed and joined Draco on the floor with the cat. "Can't you think of anything?"  
  
"Oh no, I thought up about six names. The problem is, he doesn't like them."  
  
Blaise considered the cat, and thought back to any Muggle TV shows he had watched as a child that involved a cat. "What about Felix?"  
  
The cat began to pur.  
  
"How'd you think of that?" Draco asked.  
  
"Muggle TV show. He looks just like the cat. Black and white, same markings."  
  
"Well then Felix, Blaise and I are going to dinner. I'll see you later."  
  
The cat watched them leave.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Harry sighed. He was missing dinner, he'd probably miss breakfast, and because it was a Friday he was probably going to be spending his Saturday here as well.  
  
He supposed that he could raid the dorms later, but that wasn't a good idea now, because he didn't really know when Draco would be back.  
  
Harry decided to take a nap while waiting for them. It wasn't as though he had anything better to do.  
  
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So, was this chapter worth reading? I know it was a little boring, but it's okay right?  
  
Please review!  
  
~SW 


	12. Cat Food, Boredom, And A Catnip Filled M...

Yay! Chapter Twelve! Have fun!  
  
TanisaFyre ~ Thank you. Poor Ron doesn't know how right he was!  
  
Caz Malfoy ~ Sorry you have to settle for a clone. Here, have a chocolate biscuit. One of Remy's. Glad you like the chapter. I wouldn't complain about sleeping on Draco Malfoy's bed either! Lucky Harry....  
  
NayNymic ~ They might find out. Depends, really, on how good they are and how much better Harry and Seamus are. But that would be funny if Ron and 'Mione found out that way.  
  
Ice Lupus ~ More it is then.  
  
Obsessed ~ Yep, Harry's sleeping on Draco's pillow. Isn't it sweet? And thank you for keeping the curse and threats for later. I feel so unthreatened when writing this fic.  
  
happy kid ~ Well I'm glad you liked it.  
  
SparkySparkles ~ Yeah, Harry's such a cute cat!  
  
silver-sparklze ~ Sorry the chapters end too soon for you. I really am. But at least I try to update often! Does that make you feel better? I hope so.  
  
The Demonic Duo ~ Well thank you. I'm glad you like them. Hope the wait wasn't too agonizing *grin*.  
  
silver_tears ~ Definitely worth reading, you say? Well, thank you very much!  
  
Nemesis ~ Yes, he did want to find out, so he's just going to have to purr and bear it in the Slytherin Dorms!  
  
xikum ~ You laughed and laughed? I'm glad to have that effect! I cant believe they're going to try and set them up with girls either. Wait, as the author I cant really say that, can I?  
  
mandraco ~ Well no, Draco wouldn't let poor Felix starve! Thank you, I'm glad that it's got you interested.  
  
LoonyLoopyLisa ~ Glad you thought it was funny. I wonder what Ron would say if he knew how right he was...  
  
anna may ~ Thanks!  
  
Usagi Serenity Yui Cosmos ~ Don't you hate it when other halves take you over? I don't really have another half, but my muses tend to be real pains. Especially Sylvan. I blame everything on him. Uh, the prequal to 'The World's Last Hope is Who?'...I don't know if I've got the time to write that. But I am working on my other fics!  
  
Shinigami ~ Mad? Draco's probably going to hex Harry to next week when he finds out! And if only one of the Slytherins or McGonagall had a camera...  
  
EsriTrax ~ Thank you. And the update is....*drumroll*...now! Sorry, I got a little carried away.  
  
Megs ~ Well, he did want to find out. And there's still the obstacle of escaping the Slytherin Common Room. You think it's great? Thanks.  
  
beautifulelf ~ Yeah, Draco does rule. Eeep! Here's more, just stop hitting the head with your wall! I mean, the wall with your head. Sorry. Got a little mixed up!  
  
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Harry, Seamus, And The Master Plan  
  
By Silver Wolf  
  
Chapter Twelve ~ Cat Food, Boredom, And A Catnip Filled Mouse  
  
Seamus was sitting with Remus in the DADA professor's office, trying to think up something to do. It just wasn't right to let Harry have all the fun!  
  
"Thought of anything yet, Seamus?"  
  
"Nope. Why don't we go down to dinner?"  
  
"Good idea. Meet you back here afterwards?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
The two of them headed to the Great Hall.  
  
"Hey, I wonder if Harry's gonna get any food tonight?" Seamus wondered.  
  
Remus laughed. "Well, if Malfoy's adopted him, he's got to feed him!"  
  
Seamus sniggered. "I'd feel sorry for Harry if Malfoy fed him cat food!"  
  
The two of them laughed all the way to the Hall.  
  
When they got there, they split up and sat at their respective tables.  
  
Seamus couldn't help but think that Ron, Hermione, Dean and Lavender were up to something. It was the way they were looking at him, a 'we're going to exploit your deepest secrets to the world, throw you in a torture chamber and make you kiss Snape' kind of way.  
  
Needless to say, it made him a little nervous.  
  
"Uh, hi guys," he said as he sat down.  
  
Hermione smiled at him. "Hello Seamus. Any idea where Harry is?"  
  
He shrugged. "Nah, haven't seen him since earlier. We were talking to Professor Lupin. Don't really know where he got off to."  
  
Hermione looked disappointed, Lavender looked sceptical, Ron amused and Dean annoyed.  
  
"But he's your friend, Seamus, you're not supposed to just let him go off on his own," the blonde girl said.  
  
Seamus rolled his eyes. "So you expect me to be at his side all the time, even when he's in the toilet or on a date?"  
  
"So he's on a date then?" Dean asked with a smirk.  
  
"Of course not! Honestly Dean, you do tend to take things the wrong way. I just meant that I can't be expected to spend all my time with Harry. We're friends, sure, but we've both got lives!"  
  
Ron nodded. "You're right. Hermione and I don't spend all our time together either, do we?"  
  
"Hey, that reminds me," Lavender said. "Where did you two get off to during lunch?"  
  
Dean grinned. "Yeah, good question!"  
  
Seamus snorted. "They were probably snogging in a cupboard or someth - Ow! 'Mione, what did you hit me for???"  
  
She smiled sweetly at him. "Nothing Seamus, I just thought that particular train of thought needed to be derailed."  
  
Dean and Lavender just grinned, while Ron's face went red.  
  
"So where were you really?" Dean asked, getting the conversation back on track.  
  
Hermione frowned. "Some idiot locked us in the Defence classroom!"  
  
"Er, would that idiot be Professor Lupin?" Lavender asked, smiling in amusement.  
  
"Oh honestly, Lavender! Well, yes it was, but some idiot used an adhesive charm and a silencing spell to stop him noticing us! We couldn't get out until Professor Lupin let us out!"  
  
Ron nodded. "I'd like to get hold of whoever did it, so I can kick their heads in!"  
  
Seamus tried to look innocent, and not terrified of Ron. "Whoever did it probably covered their tracks, Ron, no one could find out who did it."  
  
"Maybe the Five can," Dean said with a laugh.  
  
Seamus turned back to his meal with a gulp. There was a slight possibility of those irritating third years catching them out. He'd have to tell Harry, and they'd both have to keep an eye out for the Five.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
'Bored, bored, bored, bored, hungry, bored, hungry, hungry, bored. Dammit, I hope Malfoy has enough brains in his blond head to bring me some food! And a kitty toy! One of those cool catnip filled mice like McGonagall has. Hm, maybe she'll let me borrow it one day, I'll tell her I have a cat, or that Hermione wants it for Crookshanks - Oh joy! I smell food! Please be chicken! I think it's chicken! Wait, please be Malfoy!'  
  
If Harry hadn't been a cat, he'd have grinned at the sight that met him as the door opened. No, he'd probably have laughed.  
  
Blaise had opened the door, trying to hide an amused grin, and held it open for Draco.  
  
The blond stepped inside, arms full. He was carrying a plate of food, which Harry could tell by the smell was chicken ('Yes! Chicken! I always knew Malfoy had good taste!'), as well as a plastic bag. Harry couldn't tell what was in that bag, but for some reason he got a bad feeling about it.  
  
Harry's fears were confirmed after his hunger was satisfied. Having eaten all the chicken, and cleaning his whiskers, all he really wanted to do was curl up and sleep somewhere. Unfortunately, the evening didn't go according to plan (well, not his).  
  
Harry sat on the edge of Draco's bed, while the blond dug through the bag. Blaise wasn't bothering to hide his amusement anymore, and it was all too evident why.  
  
Draco Malfoy was a closet cat fan. The bag contained one of Harry's worst nightmares, or to be more accurate, something he hadn't thought of. A collar. It was plain black leather, with silver stitching.  
  
'Oh crap, I wont be able to change back with that damn thing around my neck!'  
  
After Draco had fastened the collar around Harry's neck, he reached back into the bag. Harry just hoped that he hadn't decided to get a lead along with the collar, because Seamus would never let him live it down.  
  
But no, Harry was lucky. There was something else in the bag.  
  
"Uh, Draco? Are you serious? You really bought a catnip filled mouse for this furball?"  
  
Draco looked offended. "You had better not be insulting Felix, Zabini, because you wont live to regret it if you are."  
  
'A catnip filled mouse? For me? Oh Malfoy, you shouldn't have! Wait, yes you should have!'  
  
With that last thought, Harry pounced on the mouse, knocking it right out of Draco's hand. Happily he batted it around, chewed it, and eventually decided that it would make a nice pillow, so he lay down and placed his head on it.  
  
"Draco, I hate to say it, but your cat's a loony."  
  
Draco was silent for a moment. "You're right, Blaise. I've never seen a cat go that crazy over a toy."  
  
'And never again after me, unless you meet Minnie on a dark night in her office...........*shudder* Perish the thought, perish the thought. It was bad enough when I did. I don't think poor Malfoy could handle it!'  
  
Later that night, Harry hadn't heard anything incriminating from the Slytherins, and was getting tired.  
  
Apparently, the boys felt the same, as they changed for bed. Harry looked away as they did so. Seamus would be disappointed in him.  
  
After they had gotten into bed, Harry realised he didn't really have anywhere to sleep.  
  
"Felix? Where are you?"  
  
'Well, that solves that problem,' he thought as he jumped onto Draco's bed. 'Now, where to sleep? Not the end, he might kick me off. Not the middle, he might grab me or roll on me. Hm, how about the pillow?'  
  
With that, he crawled onto his rival's pillow, curled into a ball and tried to sleep.  
  
Just as he was drifting off, he heard Draco's voice.  
  
"We'll have to work on the plan tomorrow, Blaise."  
  
"I know, Draco. Say, did you notice that Potter wasn't at dinner?"  
  
"Of course I noticed, you dolt. What was Finnigan's problem, I wonder?"  
  
"I heard Granger mention the Five. Maybe they're investigating him?"  
  
"Don't know. 'Night Blaise."  
  
"Goodnight Draco, Felix."  
  
"'Night Felix."  
  
"Meow." 'Goodnight Malfoy, Zabini. Please don't wake me too early.'  
  
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Let's all hope that Draco and Blaise sleep in for Harry!  
  
Anyway, Please Review. I have a test in science tomorrow, so after suffering through that I can read reviews! It'll cheer me up and I'll be more prone to write then!  
  
~SW 


	13. Reminiscing, Plots, and Spying

Hey, look, a new chapter! Yay!  
  
TanisaFyre ~ Yes, I thought it would be amusing to see him go feral. Ah, the things catnip can do to an Animagus...  
  
Usagi Serenity Yui Cosmos ~ I don't know how Draco's going to react yet, but it will probably involve a lot of hexing.  
  
Caz Malfoy ~ The plan will come out eventually! You never know what those two are planning.  
  
Malfoy Snogger ~ Thanks. Harry will definitely be staying long enough to find out, don't worry!  
  
Sailor Grape ~ Oh, I'm sure Seamus will start to worry eventually. And yes, catfood would be very inappropriate for the pet of a Malfoy!  
  
Megs ~ Thanks!  
  
NayNymic ~ Thank you. Yes, Ron and Hermione will come in contact with that clue soon.  
  
LoonyLoopyLisa ~ Yeah, tests suck. I actually don't know what I got on that test yet. Argh. Thanks.  
  
SparkySparkles ~ I thought Draco would make a cute kitty lover. That collar will have to go if he's gonna get out of there!  
  
the crazy ladies ~ Thank you! Glad you like!  
  
silver_tears ~ Glad you like it so much. One piece of advice though, don't bounce on the chair while eating biscuits. *glares evilly at elves* I don't see what you lot are laughing at. Next full moon I'm sending hyper Remus after you!!!  
  
Katie ~ Thank you!  
  
GaBrIeLa ~ Thank you very much!  
  
Dark-One Shadowphyre ~ *raises eyebrow* Um, so now you're a cat? I don't speak cat, but I'm guessing you liked it because you were purring. Heh heh.  
  
Nemesis ~ Oh yeah, too much catnip is baaad. Don't worry, it's the weekend. Thank you.  
  
Icy Flame ~ Well, thank you very much!  
  
silver-sparklze ~ Thank you, I wrote as soon as I got a chance!  
  
The Demonic Duo ~ Better and better, hm? Thank you. And I am glad that you're keeping those questions to yourself, because I wouldn't want to have to not answer them.  
  
Obsessed ~ Well, no, you didn't mention it. But thank you!! I'll keep writing, because I think "Possessed" would be scary.  
  
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Harry, Seamus, And The Master Plan  
  
By Silver Wolf  
  
Chapter Thirteen ~ Reminiscing, Plots, and Spying  
  
Remus was bored. He had finished dinner long before Seamus, and had headed back to his office. The problem was, he didn't have anyone to talk to, unless he counted Sirius's stupid pet lizard named Lizard, and he didn't count him. Her. It. Whatever.  
  
Leaning back in his chair, the front legs leaving the floor, he let his mind wander.  
  
He was staring out the window into the darkness, his mind one million and five point seven miles away (a length that had been proven by James in their fourth year), when someone knocked on his door, startling him.  
  
He was so startled that he fell off his chair and landed on the ground with a crash, somehow ending up with the chair on top of him.  
  
The door opened, and a curious Minerva poked her head in. "Er, Remus? Are you all right?"  
  
"Quite fine Minerva," he answered airily. "I just thought I'd inspect the floor, you know, make sure that its clean and all."  
  
She raised an eyebrow. "I see. Do you mind standing up so we can talk, or would you rather continue your inspection and I'll come back later?"  
  
"Please, come in," he said as he stood up. "I was about finished anyway. Cup of tea?" he offered.  
  
"No thank you. I was wondering if you had any idea as to the whereabouts of one Mr Potter? He wasn't at dinner, and Miss Granger asked me if I'd seen him."  
  
Remus grinned deviously. "I know where he is, Minnie, but I'd really rather not tell you at the moment."  
  
She smiled back at him. "Oh? Why not? Is he skulking around the castle as a cat again?"  
  
He was startled. "You know about that?"  
  
"Of course I do! He and Seamus asked me to help them."  
  
"And you didn't make them register?" he asked incredulously.  
  
"No."  
  
"But why not?" he whined. "It's not fair!"  
  
She laughed. "Surely you remember why? James was your best friend, after all."  
  
Remus blinked. "Uh, should that sentence have made any sense to me?"  
  
"James didn't tell you?"  
  
"About what?"  
  
"Who he and Lily named as Harry's godmother."  
  
He groaned. "Oh you gotta be shitting me."  
  
"I'm afraid not. I didn't help him as his teacher, but as his godmother. He asked me about it, and I said I'd help."  
  
"Hey, you learn something new every day, I guess."  
  
"Now, back to the original question. Although, you did do an awfully good job of keeping us off the subject."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"So, is Harry wandering around on four legs?"  
  
Remus grinned slyly. "You could say that, Minnie. He is a cat at the moment, but he's not really wandering around. He'd have reached his destination by now."  
  
"Oh? And where was he going?"  
  
"I can't tell you that! Its classified information!"  
  
"Oh is it now?" she asked as she took a seat by the fire. She got the feeling that she'd be there for a while.  
  
"Definitely. If I were to tell you, Harry'd kill me, Seamus would kill me, Sirius and Sam would kill me, and I daresay that Percy Weasley would kill me."  
  
Minerva looked startled. "Why Percy?"  
  
"Because he still owes me from the last time I saw him. I only played one harmless little prank, and all hell broke loose. Percy is a force to be reckoned with when it comes to pranking, mainly because you don't expect it from him."  
  
"Now I can't help but wonder which of the pranks I've had played on me in the past were really his work, rather than that of his brothers or friends. I remember being turned green on his second day, and first Transfiguration lesson. He was the only one to keep a straight face, and he seemed so serious and disapproving of pranks, I immediately dismissed him as a suspect and blamed Oliver Wood."  
  
"You ought to ask about it next time you see Percy. Either that or I will. You've piqued my curiosity now."  
  
"I also remember your first Transfiguration lesson, when I punished James and Sirius for writing nasty messages on the blackboard. Was it really them, Remus?"  
  
The werewolf grinned. "Nope. It was me. James dared me to do it. I said no, and then Sirius called me a chicken and said he'd give me ten Galleons and a sugar quill if I could do it and not catch the blame." He frowned thoughtfully. "Now I think of it, he still owes me the sugar quill. I'll have to remind him of that next time I see him."  
  
Minerva laughed, but before she could speak there was a knock on the door.  
  
"Come in," Remus called.  
  
Minerva raised an eyebrow. "And you couldn't have managed to say that when I knocked?"  
  
Remus was prevented from replying by Seamus pushing open the door and stepping inside.  
  
"Hey Remus, I've got an idea how to - oh. Hello Professor McGonagall." The startled blond turned to the DADA Professor. "D'you want me to come back later?"  
  
"No, that's fine. Come on in. I'm sure we can find something to talk about until Minerva falls asleep. We can go over the plans for world domination then."  
  
Both Seamus and Minerva laughed.  
  
"Now Seamus, I was just wondering," Minerva began casually. "Have you any idea where Harry is?"  
  
So began another round of 'throw Minerva off the scent and have an entertaining evening at the same time' for the two males. The head of Gryffindor was a worthy opponent.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Harry was woken when the door to the Slytherin dorms opened. He knew that Crabbe and Goyle had a separate room, but he hadn't known where the fifth boy in the sixth year slept. 'I guess I probably should've noticed the third bed earlier,' he thought.  
  
"You could wake the dead with the noise you're making, Nott," Blaise said sleepily. He glanced over to Draco's bed. "Look, you've woken Draco's cat. He's going to kill you if he finds out."  
  
"I couldn't help it, the door handle fell off," Jason Nott protested. He held up the door handle as proof.  
  
"Put it back on and get to bed, you git," Draco mumbled. "Blaise, remind me to hex his arse in the morning."  
  
"Sure thing Draco," he assured him.  
  
Harry doubted the sincerity of that statement, as Blaise was almost asleep about two seconds after that.  
  
"Wait a sec," Jason said with a frown. "Draco, since when have you had a cat???"  
  
The talkative Slytherin was shut up quite effectively as two pillows hit him in the face.  
  
"Okay, okay, I can take a hint."  
  
Harry sighed, let his head fall back onto his paws and began to think. The second that Jason Nott had stepped into the room, Harry had realised he was subconsciously attempting to pair him up with someone. It hadn't been the first time; he'd been doing it since third year, but it was a little odd.  
  
Especially since the first person he'd thought of was Ravenclaw's Sarah Moon. They would make a cute couple. Harry would never tell them that though.  
  
Every other couple he'd paired up the year before had actually gotten together, so he was glad that he had originally thought of Seamus and Blaise.  
  
Although, it would be a little weird if Neville and Pansy got together, as he'd matched them up in Care of Magical Creatures when Pansy had been trying to defend Neville from their Jarvey.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Malcolm and Emma were sitting in a corner of the Slytherin Common Room, pretending to study. In truth, they were discussing their latest task.  
  
"Emma, do you really think that we can get the better of Harry Potter and Seamus Finnigan? I don't think the other Gryffindors are really aware of their achievements in the past year or so."  
  
"I know what you mean. They didn't even suspect them when all of Snape's potions stores went missing last year. Even Snape didn't think they'd done it."  
  
"He blamed the Weasley twins eventually, didn't he?"  
  
Malcolm nodded. "Yeah, because of all their previous pranks. Did you hear about the entire North Tower vanishing a month ago? They used a major amount vanishing potion."  
  
"I heard a bunch of Ravenclaw third years taking Divination wanted to find out who did it so they could thank them." Emma grinned. "But we're not here to discuss their pranks, we're here to work out how to get the better of them."  
  
The two Slytherin third years continued to plot, not noticing the pair of eyes watching them.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
Second year Slytherin Maddy Nott was shy, quiet, studious, and almost no one knew her.  
  
Which helped her mission quite a lot. No one noticed if she was sitting in the Common Room, nor did they think she was listening when they discussed things.  
  
The year before, she had gotten lost in the dungeons on the way to lunch, and had managed to run into Harry Potter and Seamus Finnigan. The two boys, then in their fifth year, had accompanied her back to the Great Hall, and offered to show her a quicker way to get to her classes on the weekend.  
  
Maddy had expected that they would forget, so she was surprised when after breakfast on Saturday morning the two came over and asked if she was ready.  
  
It had been the beginning of a very interesting friendship. Maddy was an only child, as were Seamus and Harry, but she suspected that having them around was like having two older brothers.  
  
Maddy was their eyes and ears in the Common Room, telling them when the Slytherins mentioned them, and warning them of any pending attacks, be they harmless jokes or nasty spells from behind. She waited until the Common Room was nearly empty before sneaking out, hoping to find Seamus or Harry somewhere nearby. They ought to know that the Five were planning to tail them.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
For the third time in one night, there was a knock on the door of the DADA Professor's office.  
  
"Come in," Remus called.  
  
The door opened, and Maddy Nott stepped timidly into the room. She sighed in relief as she saw Seamus.  
  
"Finally! I was about to give up on finding either of you."  
  
"Maddy? What's wrong?" Seamus asked, worried. She would normally have waited until the morning.  
  
"I just thought you should know, the Five are tailing you and Harry by order of Hermione, Lavender, Ron and Dean. They want to find out if the two of you are a couple."  
  
"What???" he yelped. "That's ridiculous! Of course we aren't!"  
  
Maddy grinned. "You and I know that, but it seems your friends don't know for sure. Anyway, you should warn Harry. Where is he, anyway?"  
  
"He's off spying on someone," Seamus answered airily. It was more than Minerva had been able to get out of them all night.  
  
"Really? Who?"  
  
"I can't tell you that, kid, Harry'd have my head!"  
  
"And we cant have that now, can we Seamus?" she asked teasingly.  
  
"Certainly not, fair Madeleine!" he said dramatically.  
  
"You two should probably head back to your Common Rooms," Remus suggested. "If you're unlucky, you might run into Snape while you're out." He grinned. "Good luck!"  
  
The two students rolled their eyes and glared at him before leaving with a quick "goodnight". Minerva left not long after.  
  
Remus sighed and headed to his rooms. He was exhausted. But at least he hadn't been bored all night.  
  
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Well. Wasn't that a nice long chapter? Now, be nice readers and leave a pretty review.  
  
SYLVAN: Ah, and why would they listen to you?  
  
Because, you pain in the arse vampire, I'm writing the goddamn story! And I'm nice. Not like you.  
  
SYLVAN: Hmph. I'm insulted.  
  
Good. You were supposed to be.  
  
SYLVAN: Meanie.  
  
And? That surpises you?  
  
SYLVAN: Not really.  
  
*Sigh* Anyway, I'm going to go lock him in a cupboard. And never let him out! *Evil laugh*  
  
Please review!  
  
~SW 


	14. Evil Lavender, War and Betting

Um, hi? I know I took AGES to get this done! Well, to get around to writing it, anyway. Took me three hours to write. But anyway, I am REALLY SORRY.  
  
Ran ~ Hm, is a bit Slytherinesque. Thanks.  
  
Usagi Serenity Yui Cosmos ~ Sorry it took so long...*shudder* I never thought of the cupboard - Vernon connection. But it's okay, I shut Sylvan in a book. No room in the sock draw...  
  
Jasini ~ Couldn't stop laughing? That's a lot of laughing.  
  
ReflectionsOfReality ~ No, nothing really happened. I was a bit stuck for ideas, really! And Voldie will show up eventually, with greater plot in his pocket (and not paired with Fudge. I don't think Voldie's stupid enough for Fudge. Ick)  
  
Caz Malfoy ~ Thank you!  
  
The Demonic Duo ~ Saved you from boredom, eh? That's good, boredom can be deadly.  
  
NayNymic ~ Very interesting. ;)  
  
TanisaFyre ~ Something has now officially happened! And I'm sorry about the wit!  
  
LoonyLoopyLisa ~ Thank you!  
  
Sailor Grape ~ Seamus is probably going to pry every detail out of Harry, and Harry's gonna be sooo embarrassed about the catnip mouse!  
  
silver-sparklze ~ Thank you!!!  
  
Megs ~ Glad you think so!  
  
Jasini ~ *Looks around nervously* Um, I hope 'all hell' hasn't broken loose yet....but yeah, update has happened!  
  
Dark-One Shadowphyre ~ Oooooh, Shape-shifter! That makes sense! Glad you liked Minnie (who hates the name Minnie, btw).  
  
xikum ~ Why thank you! And poor Minnie, she didn't get her info. She'll find out someday, I suppose.  
  
Icy Flame ~ Harry's certainly going to discover some interesting information. Thankyou!!!  
  
Valentine ~ Thanks!  
  
Sakura ~ Genius? Thanks! Harry & Draco will get together soon, I swear!  
  
Obsessed ~ Thanks! Yay, no threats! I don't think I'll be so lucky this time though. Glad you like Maddy!  
  
Marie ~ thanks.  
  
Dianne ~ I am so sorry I left you hanging. Glad you like!  
  
Serena ~ Hopefully your sanity is still intact, more or less!  
  
FantasyChick ~ I hooked you in? Wow. Next bloody chapter has been written now!  
  
Sondy ~ Thank you! I addicted you? Cool. Er, I HOPE that's a good thing!  
  
Jackie Potter ~ Thanks!  
  
Lady Phoenix Gryffindor ~ Thanks, I will!  
  
Morgana ~ *looks sheepish* I'm sorry....I know it took forever.  
  
NOTE ~ I PROMISE that I wont take so long with the next chapter! Blame my sadistic teachers. *death glares teachers*  
  
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Harry, Seamus, And The Master Plan  
  
By Silver Wolf  
  
Chapter Fourteen ~ Evil Lavender, War and Betting  
  
As was usual for nine o'clock on a Saturday morning in the Gryffindor sixth year boy's dorms, only one person was still there.  
  
Seamus had gone down to breakfast, alone for once. He just hoped that Harry would be able to escape the Slytherin dorms before Monday. He doubted that Snape would be very forgiving if Harry missed his class.  
  
Neville had been dragged out of his bed at six by an enthusiastic Parvati, who was convinced that Hippogriffs were the sweetest creatures on the planet, and had offered to help Hagrid exercise a few of his, and had also volunteered her friend to help as well.  
  
Dean had been unable to get back to sleep after Parvati's invasion, so he'd gone to the library. He'd run into Hermione in the Common Room and she'd decided to join him.  
  
Ron was snoring loudly.  
  
Lavender rolled her eyes as she made her way over to the redhead's bed. She shook his shoulder roughly. "Ron! Wake up!"  
  
"Five more minutes, Mum," he mumbled.  
  
"Fine," Lavender snapped. "If you're going to be lazy, you'll have to face the consequences!"  
  
Ron didn't react. Lavender grinned evilly. This would be FUN.  
  
She pulled out her wand and pointed it at Ron's head. "Sorry Weasley, but it's gotta be done."  
  
*************************************************  
  
Harry raised his head and gazed around the Slytherin's dorm. It was pretty much the same as his in Gryffindor Tower, but in green and silver rather than red and gold.  
  
It seemed that none of the three boys were early risers, a fact that he knew for sure as he looked at the clock and discovered it to be nine o'clock. 'Yay, they didn't wake me up at a sadistically early time! Joy!' He looked around, and decided to prey on Blaise.  
  
He jumped off Draco's pillow onto the floor. Oh, he was going to enjoy this.  
  
Leaping onto the brown haired boy's bed, Harry prepared himself for an inevitable trip across the room, and approached Blaise's face.  
  
"Meow!"  
  
No reaction.  
  
"MEOW!"  
  
Still no reaction.  
  
If he'd been human, Harry was sure that he would've had a predatory grin on his face. As it was, he leaned forward and licked Blaise Zabini on the nose.  
  
No reaction.  
  
Harry decided to revert to plan B. He jumped back over to Draco's bed and pawed the blond lightly on the cheek. "Meow?" 'Wakey wakey Malfoy!'  
  
There was no reaction here either.  
  
'Bloody hell, these boys know how to sleep! I ought to take lessons, what with Ron and Nev's snoring.........'  
  
Harry sighed and decided to just wait. Judging from the lack of response from these two, he doubted that he'd have any better luck with Jason Nott.  
  
'Guess I'd better wait it out.'  
  
*************************************************  
  
Remus had been tidying his desk for something to do, when he came across a piece of parchment that had obviously been left there the day before.  
  
'Lupin,  
  
As I'm sure you are aware, a prank was played on me in my class on Thursday. As it was a remake of one you played in our sixth year, I have no doubts that you were in some way involved.  
  
You know what this involves. Alliances, spying, deceit. Students. We've been though it all before.  
  
This is war.  
  
Severus Snape'  
  
He stared at the note for a full seven minutes in complete silence. He then carefully folded it, placed it in his pocket, and left for the Great Hall and breakfast.  
  
He was right outside the doors when he found that he could no longer contain himself.  
  
Most of the students treated their DADA professor as though he'd gone mental.  
  
But then, what else can you say about a man who is on the floor laughing hysterically?  
  
Seamus finally left the Hall and pulled Remus to his feet. "C'mon Professor Lupin, let's go up to your office."  
  
Remus didn't have the breath to protest, or inform Seamus that he hadn't eaten breakfast yet.  
  
*************************************************  
  
Ron yelled, jumped out of his bed and stood in the middle of the dorm, dripping water on the floor. It wasn't until then that he noticed the madly giggling Lavender Brown, wand in hand.  
  
He glared at her. "What the bloody hell was that for???"  
  
She calmed down a bit and shrugged. "You wouldn't wake up. Generally, that's when people dump water on their friends to wake them up."  
  
Ron stepped over in front of the mirror and looked himself over in disgust. "Well maybe it was a necessary evil. But couldn't you have left out the green dye?"  
  
Lavender took in his now green hair, and once-maroon-now-lime pyjamas. "Nope. Green suits you."  
  
There was a flash of bright light, and they both jumped. They turned to the door and saw Colin Creevey standing there with his ever-present camera.  
  
Ron glared. Colin squeaked and ran. Lavender followed him.  
  
Sighing, Ron attempted to turn his hair back to normal. It didn't work. Bugger.  
  
He sighed again and got dressed. The only thing he could do would be avoid leaving the dorm at all costs.  
  
However, Ron didn't want to miss breakfast, and decided that he'd just have to take the embarrassment.  
  
Leaving the dorms, he headed towards his doom.  
  
*************************************************  
  
At about nine thirty, there was finally movement from the Slytherins. Draco opened his eyes to discover that he was being stared at by a somewhat annoyed looking feline.  
  
The blond looked at the clock and groaned. "Oh great. Perfect. I wanted to get up half an hour ago!"  
  
Draco could have sworn that Felix rolled his eyes.  
  
He got out of bed and shook Blaise. "All right, wake up!"  
  
"Argh!" Blaise sat up with a start. "Wha - Malfoy!!!"  
  
He just grinned and moved onto Jason.  
  
Once they were all awake, they began to talk.  
  
"So Jase, where were you last night?" Blaise asked.  
  
"Not telling."  
  
"I reckon he was snogging some girl in the Astronomy Tower. Am I right?" Draco smirked as Jason blushed. "All right, then who?"  
  
"Is she a Gryffindor?"  
  
"No."  
  
"C'mon Jason, don't make us guess!" Draco exclaimed. "I hate guessing!"  
  
"Okay, okay! It's Sarah."  
  
"As in Sarah Moon???" Blaise demanded.  
  
"The same Sarah Moon who you've been, for lack of a better word, 'mooning' over for the past two months???" Draco continued.  
  
Jason nodded.  
  
"Hah! Pay up Zabini! You owe me ten galleons!"  
  
"He does?" Jason asked.  
  
"Yep! He reckoned that you and Sarah wouldn't hook up until after Christmas, and I said that you would! Yay me!" Draco did a little dance.  
  
The other two stared at him. "Draco? You're scaring me," Jason said nervously. Blaise nodded.  
  
Draco stopped and gave them a look. "This doesn't leave the room."  
  
"So, how's the plan coming along between you two?" Jason inquired.  
  
Draco shrugged. "I dunno. One minute we think they're just friends, and then they'll do something that makes it seem like more."  
  
Blaise sighed. "Life was so much simpler when no one had any suspicions like this. When they were just friends and everyone knew."  
  
Jason rolled his eyes. "Look, I was talking to Sarah, and her best friend is Padma Patil. Padma's twin sister Parvati is a Gryffindor, as you know. Parvati's fairly sure that they're NOT a couple, although their friends are investigating."  
  
Draco nodded. "I think that they've hired the Five. Maybe we should warn them?"  
  
"No, that'd just rouse suspicion. What you ought to do is take this truce and try to forge a friendship. Potter seemed pretty thankful when you covered for him in Potions." Jason looked at his roommates. "If you really want to date Harry Potter and Seamus Finnigan, then you're going to have to start somewhere. So Draco, you could ask Harry why he played that prank on Snape, or something. Blaise, you could ask Seamus, um, something. Homework maybe?"  
  
Blaise grinned. "Jase, I think that's a plan."  
  
"Good. Now, how about we get ready for breakfast?"  
  
Once the three boys were up and dressed, the issue became what to do with Felix while they went to breakfast.  
  
"Just lock him in," Jason suggested. "If you let him out, he'll probably end up being savaged by that feral thing of Granger's. There is something off about that ginger monstrosity."  
  
"Jason, you only have a problem with him because he ate your toad," Blaise pointed out. "Felix can take care of himself, I'm sure."  
  
"I think I'll bring him with me," Draco decided. "If he wants to leave after that, then fine. Otherwise, he should be safe with us, right?"  
  
The other two nodded and left the room, knowing that Draco and his cat would catch up eventually.  
  
"All right then Felix, we're going." Draco looked around, trying to locate the feline that had vanished under his bed sometime after Sarah Moon was mentioned the first time.  
  
*************************************************  
  
Seamus pushed Remus down into his chair, and when the werewolf still didn't show any sign of calming down, he grabbed a nearby vase of flowers and emptied the water and roses over his head.  
  
That shut him up. "Hey!"  
  
"Sorry. Do you want to explain the whole hysterically laughing in the Entrance Hall thing?"  
  
Remus grinned, pulled Snape's 'Declaration of War' out of his pocket and handed it to Seamus. The blond haired boy read it, his grin expanding with each line. When he finished, he laughed and handed it back.  
  
"So Finnigan, are you up for a war?"  
  
"I believe so. With any luck, we'll have Harry back by then."  
  
"Speaking of which, I don't recall ever discussing how he was going to get away from the Slytherins."  
  
Seamus frowned. "You know, neither do I. I don't think we actually DID talk about it."  
  
"Oh dear."  
  
"My thoughts exactly. Only with less profanity."  
  
"So what now?"  
  
"Are you calm enough to go to breakfast? Only I'm really hungry."  
  
Remus nodded. "Yep. Let's go."  
  
*************************************************  
  
'Aw man, what now? Do I go with Malfoy, run over to Seamus and hope that he's smart enough to claim me? Do I run off and come back to breakfast as myself? Or do I transform right now and tell Malfoy - no. He'd probably kill me for spying. I'll tell him one day. Maybe after we've graduated. And after Voldemort is gone. After I turn ninety. Or maybe never. Argh!'  
  
Harry crawled out from under Draco's bed and walked over to the blond Slytherin. Malfoy picked him up.  
  
'Ohhh, I think I'm getting motion sickness.'  
  
"All right then Felix, you're coming with me to breakfast. I'll give you some bacon if you like."  
  
'Mmmm, bacon. Maybe I should stick around for breakfast. But now I've got the information, why bother? I hope Seamus isn't in 'dunderhead' mode when I need him to claim me. If so, maybe Moony............?'  
  
It wasn't long before Draco caught up with Blaise and Jason, and the three of them - and Harry - entered the Great Hall, made their way to the Slytherin Table, and sat down.  
  
'Hm, no Seamus yet. Or Remus. If I get desperate, there's always Minnie.........'  
  
*************************************************  
  
Ron took a deep breath and entered the Great Hall.  
  
*************************************************  
  
Seamus glanced up when he noticed something green out of the corner of his eye. He and Remus were just in time to see the back of Ron Weasley enter the Great Hall.  
  
"Was that............?"  
  
"Ron with green hair?" Remus finished. "Yep."  
  
"Oh. Five galleons says it was Dean."  
  
"You're on. I'm leaning towards Lavender."  
  
They entered the Hall and headed to their tables, waiting to see who would win their bet.  
  
*************************************************  
  
Harry looked up from his bacon as Ron entered the Hall. 'Oh. My. God. Lav said she'd do it one day, and now it seems as though she has. Whoa. Lime green. Pretty bright, much?'  
  
"Draco, Blaise. Humiliated Weasley at Gryffindor Table."  
  
The two of them followed Jason's pointed finger, and they spotted Ron.  
  
"Extravagant. My money's on Brown."  
  
"No way Draco, I'm thinking Granger."  
  
"Blaise, Draco, no way! It was definitely Finnigan."  
  
'They're distracted. Now's the time to make a break for it.'  
  
Harry jumped off the Slytherin Table and ran towards Seamus. He leaped up onto the Gryffindor Table and landed by Seamus's elbow.  
  
"Meow."  
  
Seamus looked at him. "Oh. Hello."  
  
"Finnigan, do you mind if I have my cat?" Draco said from behind them.  
  
Harry panicked and gave Seamus a pointed look.  
  
"Sorry Malfoy, but it seems as though you've adopted my cat. His name's Fluffy." Seamus undid the collar and handed it to the stunned Draco, ignoring the death glare that Harry was giving him for 'Fluffy'.  
  
Draco sighed. "Oh well. He was well behaved, at any rate. Uh, Finnigan?"  
  
"Yes Malfoy?"  
  
"Any idea where Potter is? I wanted to talk to him about our Potions homework."  
  
Seamus frowned. "I'll tell him to meet you in the Library after dinner, okay? I'd say lunch, but we're going to Hogsmeade."  
  
"All right then. Thank you."  
  
Seamus watched him walk back to the Slytherin Table, then picked Harry up and carried him out of the Great Hall.  
  
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Nice long chapter! No cliffhanger!  
  
Oh, and by the way! I have posted the first part of 'The Incident' which will be five chapters tops, if that!  
  
Okay, I hope you liked the chapter!  
  
Please review!  
  
~SW 


	15. Plotting, Hogsmeade and Nets

Hiya!  
  
It took a while, I know, but I was trying to decide on what to do with Sam and Sirius. Now you will find out.  
  
FW Viper ~ I swear I'll try my very best never to make you wait that long again!  
  
krazymelomo5385 ~ Thank you! They will!  
  
crazy noon-haman thingy ~ Okay, I be nice and write more.  
  
Vicky ~ Wow, I hooked you in? Thank you so so much!  
  
Jenni ~ Oh dear, I do hope that you didn't die before I could get the next chapter written!  
  
coconut-ice agent h/h ~ I'm Sorry! There'll be more Harry with Draco parts next chapter - when they talk in the library. Thanks!  
  
bella trix ~ Draco is a very variable character, I agree! Glad you like!  
  
bella trix ~ heh heh, library talk next chapter!  
  
Cody ~ Thank you!  
  
silverhorn ~ Glad you like! And 'defense' is the American way of spelling it; we Australians spell it 'defence'.  
  
LilyPotter ~ Thanks!  
  
Izzy ~ Wow, thank you!  
  
Dark-One Shadowphyre ~ *laughs* Maybe the name does! Seamus is in Trouble about the 'Fluffy' thing.  
  
Megs5 ~ Thanks!  
  
The Demonic Duo ~ Thanks! I hope this is soon enough!  
  
Kiori ~ *blinks* Oh dear. I hope you can recover from that dying thing to read this chapter!  
  
Silverline ~ Thank you thank you thank you so much!  
  
Terraline Brooks ~ Thank you! Glad you like it!  
  
Sailor Grape ~ Glad you think the wait was worth it! Lavender decided she had to do something about Ron's hair, and she ran with the idea. I know, Harry is so going to repay Seamus for the 'Fluffy' thing.  
  
TanisaFyre ~ Hope I hurried enough!  
  
dreamera ~ Thanks! I wish I could be in on some of those pranks too!  
  
bella trix ~ Probably is about time to update! Maybe Harry will get Draco a cat of his very own later!  
  
silver-sparklze ~ Don't you just hate school computers? Shh, don't tell my school computers I said that, they'll crash on me! Glad you like, hope it was soon enough!  
  
beenieweenie ~ Thanks, you will.  
  
LoonyLoopyLisa ~ Glad you thought the Fluffy thing was funny!  
  
Sondy ~ Glad you like! Thanks!  
  
Baby Sphinx ~ Hm, Harry and Seamus probably will owe the Five a few pranks by the time this is over!  
  
Arch-Nemesis ~ Glad you're caught up! Sirius and Remus dated before Lily and James died, and they got back together in the summer between Harry's fourth and fifth years.  
  
Arch-Nemesis ~ Thanks! I think you've got a front row seat for the prank war, it'll start next chapter if my calculations are correct! Glad you liked!  
  
Jade Dawn ~ Update is here now!  
  
I-am-a-pineapple-lump ~ Gah! Don't kill me! Writing more! Are you sure you aren't insane? Very interesting penname you've got there, but why the change? Just curious.  
  
Obsessed4 ~ Yes Harry heard the conversation! Please don't use the threats! They make me feel threatened..... Anyway, I hope I didn't take too long!  
  
Noiko M. Chijinu ~ Yes, Fluffy is an evil name....moreness was posted soon!  
  
DISCLAIMER: I own Sam, Jason and Maddy. That's it.  
  
Enjoy!  
  
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Harry, Seamus, And The Master Plan  
  
By SilverWolf7007  
  
Chapter Fifteen ~ Plotting, Hogsmeade, And Nets  
  
Seamus carried Harry to Remus's office, put him down and pulled the door shut behind them. When he turned around Harry had already changed back, and was grinning at him.  
  
"Well?" he demanded. "Did you find anything useful out?"  
  
Harry laughed. "Oh yes. For one, Blaise and Draco are not a couple."  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"Jason Nott is dating Sarah Moon."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Draco has a secret cat obsession."  
  
"Hm."  
  
"Blaise likes you."  
  
"I se - WHAT???"  
  
"I said," Harry replied slowly, holding back a grin, "That Blaise likes you."  
  
"Oh my god. And Draco?"  
  
Harry hid a smile and shrugged.  
  
"Harry," Seamus said warningly. "Tell me. Does he like you?"  
  
He nodded. "They're plotting."  
  
"Plotting what?"  
  
Harry smirked. "You'll see. But if Blaise asks for help with homework, be sure to be extra nice."  
  
"So, are you going to meet Draco after dinner?" Seamus asked.  
  
"Yep. Hey, I've got an idea."  
  
"Not another one!"  
  
"Don't complain; it's Plan B back to haunt us. All you have to do is get along with Blaise, and let him know that we're trying to set Ron and Hermione up. I'll tell Draco, and ask for suggestions or help, and then we let them get together with Jason Nott. With the five of us, Ron and Mione don't stand a chance!"  
  
"I have an idea of how to throw the Five off the scent too," Seamus said with a grin. "You gave me the idea just now. We can get Orla Quirke and Owen Caudwell in on the act. Owen's best friends with Eleanor, and Orla gets on pretty well with Stewart. We can get them to feed the Five false information. And of course, we'll have to pay them."  
  
"Y'know, Imp, that might just work. Except for the paying part. Shall we go and find them?"  
  
"No. We're going to Hogsmeade with the others, remember?"  
  
"Oh yeah! Maybe one of us can sneak off and talk to Orla and Owen in Hogsmeade."  
  
"Maybe. C'mon, the others'll think we're making out or something."  
  
"Oh! Seamus, I almost forgot. Watch your back. I mean, Fluffy???" Harry demanded. He left the office, leaving Seamus staring after him. Then, the blond shook his head to clear it and followed, knowing that he'd end up more embarrassed than Ron by the end of the day.  
  
**********************************************  
  
Maddy was in trouble. Serious trouble. 'This is Not Good,' she thought.  
  
Malcolm and Emma were heading in her direction. "Maddy, hi!" Emma said. Malcolm smiled at her, but didn't say anything.  
  
"Hi guys," Maddy replied nervously. "Aren't you going to Hogsmeade?"  
  
"We are," Malcolm answered, "But we thought we'd come talk to you before we left."  
  
"Oh? What about?"  
  
"Well, you know Harry Potter and Seamus Finnigan pretty well, right?" Emma asked.  
  
"Of course I do. Why?"  
  
"Well, we have reason to believe that they might be a couple. Do you know if they are or not?"  
  
"They aren't. I know who Harry has a crush on, too."  
  
"Really?" Emma asked, intrigued. "Who?"  
  
Maddy grinned. "I can't tell you who, Harry made me promise not to tell. Even Seamus doesn't know!"  
  
The other two looked curious, but they didn't pry. They said goodbye, then left.  
  
Maddy knew she had to tell Harry and Seamus, but she'd have to wait until they got back from Hogsmeade.  
  
**************************************************  
  
Hermione, Ron, Dean, Lavender, Parvati, Neville, Ginny and Colin were waiting in the Entrance Hall when Harry stepped in. He walked over to join them, and a minute later Seamus caught up with them. They left the castle and walked towards the town, talking about various unimportant things.  
  
It was about then that Seamus remembered his bet with Remus. "Hey Ron, who was it that turned your hair green?"  
  
"Lavender," the red head answered, glaring at her. "She poured ice cold water coloured green all over me this morning to wake me up."  
  
"Cheer up Ron," Lavender said, stifling a giggle. "Your hair will only be green for a week."  
  
"A week???" he yelped. "Aw man........."  
  
Seamus sighed. "Damn. I owe Professor Lupin five Galleons. I thought it was Dean."  
  
"Poor thing," Harry said sympathetically. "I should have warned you never to bet against Remus. He's too damn smart for his own good!"  
  
They continued to talk as they walked, mostly about pranks and betting.  
  
Once they reached Hogsmeade, they stopped to discuss the day.  
  
"Ginny and I were going to look at owls," Lavender said.  
  
"I'm heading for Zonko's," Colin, Ron, Dean and Seamus said together.  
  
"I need a new quill," Parvati supplied. "Want to come, Hermione?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Where are you going, Harry?" Ron asked.  
  
"Honeydukes," he answered. "I need some chocolate. And sugar quills."  
  
"How about we meet at the Three Broomsticks for lunch at one?" Dean suggested. They all agreed and went their separate ways.  
  
Harry stepped into Honeydukes, chose his selection of sweets and payed for them, before leaving the shop and heading for the Shrieking Shack, where he'd seen Orla and Owen heading when they'd arrived.  
  
He walked up behind them to hear that they were discussing the ghosts that were said to haunt it. "It was never any ghosts," he said by way of greeting.  
  
They turned to stare at him. "Then what WAS it, Harry?" Orla demanded.  
  
"A werewolf."  
  
"Professor Lupin when he was a student?" Owen guessed.  
  
Harry nodded. "Yep. D'you two want to do me a favour?"  
  
Orla grinned. "Of course. We'd do anything for you, Harry. You're our big brother, remember?"  
  
"I do. By now I'm sure that you both know that the Five are investigating me and Seamus?"  
  
"To find out if you're a couple," Owen confirmed. "What do you want us to tell them?"  
  
Harry looked at the two kids he'd 'adopted' as siblings carefully. "I want you to throw them off the scent. Invent rumours about one of us and a random girl, or say that you heard that one of us was interested in a particular girl. Whatever it takes."  
  
They both grinned at him. "Sure thing," they answered.  
  
*****************************************************  
  
Sam glared at Sirius. "I hate you."  
  
He glared back. "That's good, 'cause I hate you too."  
  
"This is all your fault."  
  
"What?" he snapped. "No Samantha, this is YOUR fault!"  
  
"Is not!"  
  
"Is too!"  
  
"Is not!"  
  
"Is too!"  
  
"Is not!"  
  
"Is too!"  
  
"Is not!"  
  
"Is too!"  
  
"Is not!"  
  
"Is too!"  
  
"Is not!"  
  
"Is too!"  
  
"Is not!"  
  
"Is too!"  
  
"Is not!"  
  
"Is too!"  
  
"Quit denying it Samantha, you know the truth!"  
  
"Don't you try to blame me!"  
  
They fell silent for a while, glaring at each other.  
  
Samantha and Sirius had been sent by Dumbledore to use their Animagus forms to spy on Death Eater meetings.  
  
Unfortunately, Voldemort had become somewhat paranoid about spies after he'd caught Snape out, and there were traps everywhere.  
  
One of these was a net.  
  
This explains why Sirius and Samantha were hanging ten feet above the ground in a net, without their wands (which had fallen to the ground when they'd been caught.  
  
"I hate you," Sirius told her.  
  
******************************************************  
  
The Hogsmeade visit had flown by, and Harry, Seamus, Dean, Neville, Hermione, Colin, Lavender, Parvati and Ginny were currently staring in horror at Ron, who was eating a disgustingly large amount of food in a rather uncivilised manner.  
  
"It's unreal," Dean commented. He turned to Ginny. "Does he eat like this in front of your mother?"  
  
Ginny shook her head, looking nauseated. "No, he doesn't. Mum'd kill him."  
  
"Maybe you should write and tell her," Neville suggested.  
  
"Not a bad idea," Ginny mused. "She'd have a fit."  
  
"Gin, that's NOT a good idea," Harry argued. "Then your mum would come here to Hogwarts and sit at the Gryffindor table and watch Ron to make sure he was minding his manners. Then we'd ALL have to be careful of what we say and how we eat. Do you really want that?"  
  
Ginny shuddered. "No, I don't. It's okay Harry; you've changed my mind about it. I won't write to her, if only for the rest of us."  
  
Hermione sighed in relief. "For a minute Gin, I thought you were going to actually go through with it!"  
  
Seamus leaned over to whisper in Harry's ear. "You might want to go meet Draco now. He seems to have finished eating and is waiting for you."  
  
Glancing over at the Slytherin Table, Harry confirmed this and stood up. "I think I'm going to end my dining experience with Ron now. I'm going to the library."  
  
The others, who were still eating, just nodded and waved.  
  
Harry noticed Draco get up and leave as he did, and walked towards the library.  
  
Once he was there, he picked a table as far away from Madam Pince as he could and sat down. A minute later Draco walked in and sat down across from him.  
  
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SW: What do you mean I left a cliffe?  
  
TOM: Well, you stopped at a really important place, where a bit of actual plot comes in.  
  
SYLVAN: Duh, we have a cliffe.  
  
SW: It is not!  
  
REMUS: Sorry, but it is.  
  
SW: Grrrr.  
  
VOLDEMORT: Go on, admit it!  
  
SW: I wont!  
  
SIRIUS: Pleaaaassee??  
  
SW: No.  
  
REMUS: Aw, c'mon!  
  
SW: Nuh uh!  
  
TOM: ADMIT IT!  
  
SW: ALL RIGHT! It's a cliffie! So what? Now I have incentive to update faster.  
  
TOM: You do?  
  
SW: Yep. The quicker I update, the less people who'll murder me.  
  
REMUS: So true, so true.  
  
SIRIUS: What's going to happen to me and Sam, anyway?  
  
VOLDEMORT: *Laughs evilly*  
  
SW: I ain't telling!  
  
SIRIUS: Gah!  
  
Anyway, next chapter will be up soon!  
  
Please review!  
  
~SW 


	16. Conversations, Sneaking, Plotting and Pr...

Hi! This update didn't take as long, did it now? Probably would have had it done and up last night if my computer had been working.  
  
silver-sparklzes ~ Deal. I update, school computers stay ignorant of my feelings towards them. Damn things.... Yeah. I'm scared. A little. You never know, you could get the butchers knife out of the washing up or send Ginny after me.  
  
SilverDragonPrince ~ Thanks! Library scene, coming right up!  
  
Noriko M. Chijinu ~ I posted soon! Hope you like it!  
  
Malfoy Angel ~ You really like it? Aw, thanks!  
  
wanderingwolf ~ I updated as soon as possible! Please don't string me up with Sirius and Sam!  
  
LoonyLoopyLisa ~ Ooooh. The thing with Owen and Orla. I'll have to explain that next chapter! Thank you!  
  
The Demonic Duo ~ Aw, thank you so much! And just a quick note, I ADORE your story!  
  
bella trix ~ Never give up hope. Snape was just discovered as a spy, but another spy (not telling who) found out and warned him. He's okay, aside from still being an evil bastard. Glad you like Maddy. Will be updating faster from now on, to prevent bloodshed. Mostly my own.  
  
ArcticTiger ~ I know, I'm terrible with leaving cliffies. Thank you! *Ducks twirling scythe* Murdering the author only results in never finding out the rest of the story!  
  
FantasyChick ~ Thanks!  
  
TanisaFyre ~ I know, I'm mean, and horrible. And evil. I hurried! And even avoided another cliffie!  
  
the crazy ladies ~ *Runs screaming from psychopathic guinea pig* Not my nose! Thumper, help! *hides behind large tabbycat* Please call off the guinea pig? I'm never going to get much work done hiding behind my cat! *grins*  
  
Kousei1 ~ Thank you!  
  
bella trix ~ More Tom, just for you. And Bellatrix might show up. But Sirius would have to torture her with the tickling charm for five hours straight.  
  
Sailor Grape ~ Nets are bad *nods*. Glad you like the rumour plan. Prank war starting....next chapter! But Remus's recruiting!  
  
anna may ~ Thanks!  
  
rysta cat ~ *Stares in shock* Wow, you really like it, don't you? Thank you so much! I'll try to update faster from now on! Yes, Remus and Sirius are a couple. Thank you again!  
  
Obsessed4 ~ YAY! No threats! I resisted the urge to leave another cliffie, so that might make up for the last one. Thank you!  
  
Dark-One Shadowphyre ~ *Eyes glaze over* Oooohhhhhh, shiny knife.......*Slowly backs away from evil smile* Should I be scared? 'Cause I'm scared! I wont keep you waiting for long! I'd never do that to someone with so many shiiiiinnnnyyyyy kniiiiiiiivessssss.  
  
Evil-Aimee ~ Thanks, I will!  
  
cRazy-Girl-3000 ~ *lying on the ground, having been beaten down by millions of foam baseball bats* Ow.....*jumps up* I'm okay!  
  
SephyGirl ~ All cliffies are evil. Mine are just very good at their job.  
  
chibidark angel ~ *Blinks at really long review* Wow. You must like it a lot! Thank you! I also must add that that is the longest review I have ever received!  
  
silver_tears ~ s'okay, I forgive you! *mumbles* damn elves....I left it at a cliffie because....*sob* I have an addiction! I can't stop writing cliffies! *calms* However, I did neglect to end this chapter with a cliffie. Oh yeah....Voldemort!!! Take the Cruciatus Curse off silver_tears RIGHT NOW!!! VOLDEMORT: Oh all right. *Does so* SW: Good. Um, are you all right?  
  
Megan13 ~ Thanks!  
  
Lyla Snape ~ Thank you!  
  
Lady Darkness7 ~ Thank you thank you thank you! And thanks for the knighting. Tell Kain I said hi back. Heh, no I didn't know who Kain was, so thanks for telling me!  
  
Jes Imagin ~ Okay. More it is.  
  
Thank you all very very much!  
  
DISCLAIMER: Still only owning Jason, Maddy and Sam.  
  
Enjoy!  
  
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Harry, Seamus, And The Master Plan  
  
By SilverWolf7007  
  
Chapter Sixteen ~ Conversations, Sneaking, Plotting and Pranking  
  
"So Malfoy, Seamus said you wanted to talk to me about Potions homework." Harry raised an eyebrow. "And here I was thinking you were top of the class in Potions."  
  
Draco shrugged. "I admit it, I lied. It's a bad habit I picked up somewhere."  
  
"What's the real reason for dragging me here, then?"  
  
"Well, I know you said you played that prank on Snape for a Marauder, but why?"  
  
"He's Snape. Do Moony and I need a reason?"  
  
"Yep. Who's Moony, anyway? What do you know about the Marauders?"  
  
Harry laughed. "I know a lot about the Marauders. What do YOU know about them? Tell me, and I'll tell you who Moony is."  
  
"All I know is that the Marauders were a prank pulling group who were at Hogwarts with Snape and my father. I THINK they were Gryffindors, because Dad and Snape both detested them. They try not to mention them."  
  
"Okay. They were Gryffindors, you're right. Prongs was my father, Moony is Professor Lupin."  
  
Draco was staring at him, shocked. "And Padfoot and Wormtail?"  
  
"Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew."  
  
"So, what was the prank on Snape about?"  
  
"It's a remake of a prank Remus played on him back when they were in school. I needed a favour, so he got me to do that to Snape in return."  
  
"Oh."  
  
The two of them fell silent. Harry was trying to figure out what to say when the library door opened and Remus stepped in.  
  
"Harry! I've been looking for you everywhere! Did Seamus tell you about the letter I received from Snape this morning?"  
  
Harry shook his head. "What letter?"  
  
Remus smirked. "Snape's decided that he's brave enough to challenge a Marauder to a prank war. You in?"  
  
"Definitely!" Harry suddenly had an idea. "What about you, Malfoy? Care to join our side before Snape gets to you?"  
  
Draco considered it. "Sure. I'll talk to Blaise and Jason too. We can pretend to talk to Snape and actually act as double agents."  
  
"Brilliant idea. I'll talk to you boys tomorrow." Remus turned and left the room, whistling.  
  
"Er, is he usually like that?"  
  
"I think it's the chocolate."  
  
"Oh. So what will this prank war entail?"  
  
"Spying. Pranks, obviously. A lot of after hours sneaking."  
  
"Sounds like fun."  
  
Harry nodded. "If we're going to be working together, maybe we should call each other by our first names. In private, at least."  
  
"All right then, Harry."  
  
Again, they fell silent.  
  
"I heard that someone locked Granger and Weasley in the DADA classroom. Any ideas on who it was?"  
  
Harry laughed. "I think I know."  
  
Draco studied him shrewdly. "Was it you?"  
  
"Ack, you have caught me," Harry answered dryly.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Seamus and I are trying to set them up."  
  
The blond looked shocked. "You mean they aren't a couple?"  
  
"Not yet. I don't suppose you have any brilliant ideas?"  
  
Draco smirked. "Maybe a few."  
  
***************************************************  
  
Seamus was bored. He couldn't talk to Harry, because Harry was in the library with Draco. Ron, Dean and Neville had gone down to the kitchens. Lavender, Hermione and Parvati were in the Ravenclaw Common Room with Padma and her friends. Ginny and Colin were somewhere.  
  
He would have liked to play a prank on Snape, but prank war tradition maintained that whoever made the declaration played the first prank.  
  
Remus had vanished, and Seamus was pretty sure that he was plotting things to do to Snape.  
  
Maddy was in the Slytherin Common Room doing her homework, and Orla and Owen were in their respective Common Rooms feeding the Five false rumours.  
  
And so, Seamus had no one to talk to.  
  
"Hey Finnigan."  
  
"Yah!" Seamus whirled around to face the grinning Slytherin behind him. "Bloody hell Zabini, don't DO that!"  
  
Blaise laughed. "Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you."  
  
"It's okay, I'm pretty used to being snuck up on. Harry does it all the time to everyone in the Common Room. It's just I'm expecting to be pranked."  
  
The brown haired boy looked curious. "By who?"  
  
"Harry. I annoyed him earlier, so he told me to watch my back. I have a really bad feeling about this."  
  
"Ah. Say, have you done that Transfiguration essay yet?"  
  
"Nope. Why?"  
  
"Just wondering. I thought you might be able to give me a hand."  
  
"Well, we could always work on it together."  
  
"Okay. When?"  
  
"About ten tomorrow morning in the library?"  
  
"Sure. See you then, Seamus."  
  
The blond grinned. "Until tomorrow, Blaise."  
  
The two of them passed each other, and Seamus was about to head to the library to find Harry when he had an idea. "Hey Blaise?"  
  
He turned around. "Yeah?"  
  
"D'you want to come with me to the library? Harry was meeting Malfoy there."  
  
Blaise nodded. "Sure."  
  
They set of to the library to find their friends.  
  
***********************************************  
  
"Hey Maddy, have you seen Blaise or Draco at all?" Jason asked.  
  
His cousin shook her head. "Sorry Jase. Haven't seen them since they left after dinner."  
  
"Oh!" Jason rolled his eyes. "Of course, how could I forget?"  
  
"Forget what?" Maddy asked curiously. 'This sounds interesting,' she thought.  
  
Jason sat down beside her. "Promise not to tell?"  
  
She nodded.  
  
He opened his mouth to speak, but thought better of it. "Come up to the dorm with me."  
  
Maddy followed Jason to the sixth year boys' dorms and sat on his bed. Jason sat on Draco's.  
  
"Well?" she prompted.  
  
"Draco's in the library with Harry Potter, and Blaise is looking for Seamus Finnigan for Transfiguration help."  
  
Maddy frowned. "So what?" Then her eyes widened. "They like them!"  
  
"Yep. I don't know how I forgot."  
  
"They left a while ago, didn't they?"  
  
"Yeah, so?"  
  
She grinned impishly. "Let's go to the library and say hello."  
  
Jason looked doubtful. "Draco'd kill me. In a very dead kind of way."  
  
"What other way is there?" She stood up, grabbed his hands and pulled him up as well. "C'mon Jase, we'll just say that you're helping me find a book for my Potions assignment!"  
  
"And am I?"  
  
"Yep. Harry borrowed my copy of the book I need. So I'll get it off him."  
  
Her cousin grinned. "All right then, Maddy. Shall we?" he said.  
  
"We shall," she replied.  
  
******************************************************  
  
"Apparate!"  
  
Sam looked at Sirius in confusion. "What?"  
  
"We can Apparate out of the damn net!"  
  
Her eyes widened. "Of course! Why didn't we think of that before?"  
  
"Because we were too busy arguing," Sirius replied flippantly.  
  
"Oh yeah. I'll go first."  
  
Sirius just nodded.  
  
"Damn! Stupid net! Stupid Death Eaters! Stupid Voldemort! Damn, damn, damn!!!"  
  
"Samantha? You okay?"  
  
"There's bloody anti-Apparition wards on the stupid spawn of flobberworm net!"  
  
"Shit."  
  
"We're stuck, Sirius. I don't suppose you have a knife?"  
  
He shook his head. "Sorry. I think our only chances of getting out of this net and back to Hogwarts were dropped on the ground with our wands."  
  
Sam sighed. "Oh well. Maybe if we're lucky we'll be found by our side before the Death Eaters."  
  
"It's not very likely, Sam."  
  
"I know Siri, I know."  
  
*************************************************  
  
Right outside the library door, Blaise and Seamus stopped for a minute.  
  
"D'you hear that?" Blaise asked.  
  
"No. What am I listening for?"  
  
The brown haired boy laughed softly. "It's more what we can't hear, Seamus."  
  
"As in the decided lack of screaming, yelling, hexing and swearing? Yeah, I hear it - or, I don't."  
  
"Think we should go in?" Blaise said.  
  
Seamus thought for a second. "Yeah. For all we know, they might be unconscious. Or they might have left. And there's only one way to find out."  
  
"And that would be to go in," Jason finished, stopping beside them.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Blaise demanded.  
  
"He's helping me get a book for my potions assignment," Maddy told him, hoping to stop the brewing disagreement. It didn't take much to get Blaise and Jason arguing.  
  
"All right then," Seamus said, grinning. "Then I suppose we had all better go inside and hope for the best."  
  
"The best being?" Jason inquired.  
  
"The best thing that could have happened would be them in there talking civilly." Seamus smirked. "Let's move in, troops!"  
  
***************************************************  
  
Harry and Draco had spent ages talking about ways to set Ron and Hermione up, and had finally settled on one thing - Remus would have to be involved.  
  
They drifted off topic, discussing everything from Quidditch to Potions to pranks and back to Quidditch again, before returning pen ultimately to pranks.  
  
"I think the best thing to do to Snape first would be - hey, do you hear that?"  
  
Draco nodded. "Sounds like Blaise and Seamus."  
  
Harry waited a second. "And Jason and Maddy."  
  
"I feel the need to prank them," Draco said, smirking.  
  
"Me too." Harry pulled out his invisibility cloak. "Put this on, stand up and wait behind my chair."  
  
"All right."  
  
Harry pulled Maddy's potions book out of his bag and began to read.  
  
The library door opened, allowing Seamus, Blaise, Jason and Maddy inside.  
  
Maddy came and took her book off Harry. "Hiya Harry. Can I have my book back?"  
  
"Sure. You seem to have taken it anyway." Harry waited for the three boys to sit down before speaking again. "What brings you lot here?"  
  
Seamus frowned. "What happened to Malfoy?"  
  
"Draco?" Harry feigned surprise. "He went to steal a colour changing potion from Snape. We're gonna need it for the war," he added to Seamus.  
  
"War?" Jason asked, looking confused. "What, you're going to change Voldemort's hair colour?"  
  
"Not that war," Harry said, grinning at the thought of Voldemort with pink hair. "The prank war Snape started with Professor Lupin."  
  
As Harry explained the reason for the war - the prank on Snape in Potions - Draco was having fun changing the hair colour of the three boys and Maddy.  
  
Harry was having trouble controlling his grin as Jason's hair became purple, Blaise's green and blue, Seamus's pink, and Maddy's red and gold. None of them had noticed.  
  
Draco ducked out the library door while they weren't looking, pulled off the invisibility cloak off and put it into his pocket, before smoothing his hair and stepping back inside.  
  
The five of them turned to look at him as he entered, and he didn't bother trying not to laugh.  
  
"What's so funny?" Seamus demanded. That set Harry off as well.  
  
Blaise and Jason turned to each other to exchange glances, but noticed the hair. They turned and also saw Maddy and Seamus's.  
  
Draco and Harry finally managed to calm down. "Making a fashion statement?" the blond asked.  
  
"Shut up, Draco." Jason glared at him.  
  
"Anyway," Harry said, getting back to business. "Remus has already recruited Seamus, Draco and I, so I was wondering if you four would join in as well. On our side of course," he added hastily.  
  
Blaise nodded. "Sure thing. Sounds like fun, anyway."  
  
"Also," Seamus added. "We need help in setting Ron and Hermione up as a couple."  
  
"They aren't already?" Jason and Blaise asked.  
  
Harry shook his head, grinning. "No. Only condition is, we have to get Remus in on whatever plans we make. Is that okay with everyone?"  
  
There were nods all round.  
  
Blaise turned to Draco. "Now will you PLEASE turn our hair back to normal?" he asked plaintively.  
  
He nodded and changed his fellow Slytherins' hair back to their regular colour. Seamus's he left, however.  
  
"What about me?"  
  
Draco shrugged. "Harry can deal with it."  
  
Seamus turned hopefully to Harry.  
  
"No. Your hair will stay pink until I've forgiven you."  
  
"Oh all right," he sighed.  
  
The four of them said goodnight and the Slytherins left.  
  
Harry turned to Seamus. "I think we've had a very productive night," he commented.  
  
Seamus nodded. "I believe so. Let's go back to the Common Room and eat lots of sugar quills. We're going to need the energy when Snape begins this war."  
  
"Sure."  
  
The two of them left the library.  
  
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@  
  
SIRIUS: Why are Sam and I STILL IN THAT BLOODY NET???  
  
SW: Because it adds plot to my story.  
  
SAM: That is SO unfair!  
  
TOM: That's life, Lupin.  
  
SAM: It's Snape, now.  
  
SW: Hah! See? Tom, Remus, Sylvan, Sirius and Voldemort all thought I couldn't do it! But I did!  
  
LUCIUS: Did what?  
  
SW: Didn't leave a cliffie!  
  
TOM: Hm. She's right, she didn't. Well done, SW!  
  
SW: Thanks!  
  
VOLDEMORT: Can I kill those idiots stuck in my net?  
  
SW: Not yet. We'll see about later.  
  
SAM & SIRIUS: *Gulp*  
  
VOLDEMORT: *Laughs evilly*  
  
TOM: Oh.....bloody hell!  
  
SYLVAN: He's at it again!  
  
TOM: So, uh, are Ron and Hermione EVER going to become a couple?  
  
SW: Eventually. But I don't give away secrets.  
  
TOM: *Blinks* You don't?  
  
SW: *Shrugs* Nah. Spoils all the work I do to be classified as an 'Evil Author'.  
  
LUCIUS: Doesn't NOT leaving a cliffhanger do that anyway?  
  
SW: Shut up and stop being so LOGICAL, MALFOY!!!  
  
TOM: Calm down!  
  
SW: Sure. Whatever.  
  
VOLDEMORT: I love catching people in nets. I get them down, torture them, and kill them.  
  
LUCIUS: *Cough*Tickling Charm*Cough*  
  
SAM & SIRIUS: *back away slowly*  
  
Anyway, next chapter will be written soon!  
  
Please review!  
  
~SW 


	17. Costumes, Hair Colour, and Capture

I know, it took ages. And I am very sorry about that. But first there was City Orientation, and then Work Experience. That was two weeks lost, and there was homework......ack. Excuses don't cut it, I know. Sorry!  
  
silver-sparklze ~ *is hiding under computer desk* Er, hi, um, help! *ducks a banana thrown by Ginny* Think you can call her off? Please? I'll, er, make the next chapter extra long? *looks hopeful and warily watches for Ginny*  
  
Jes Imagin ~ Heh heh, now there's an idea....personally I think it'd be funny if Seamus let it slip and then Harry found out. Harry wouldn't be happy with Seamus. Draco might find out later.  
  
wanderingwolf ~ I suddenly have a really bad feeling about leaving the cliffie that I did. There sure are a lot of people inhabiting your head. There's a lot in mine too, but the only ones who tend to reveal themselves to my friends are Sylvan and JC, especially Sylvan. I really shouldn't have left the cliffie....  
  
Obsessed4 ~ Thank you! *Watches strange victory dance* Huh. Strange. A non violent person, hey? Somehow I think you'll be regressing after this chappy.  
  
LoonyLoopyLisa ~ Sorry I haven't been emailing, I'll be sure to from now on though! Well, they'll get out of the net....Thanks!  
  
green m&m ~ *Consider praise inserted* *Grins* Thanks!  
  
Caz Malfoy ~ Yay, you're back! Thank you!  
  
bella trix ~ Heh heh. Well, I had to get Snape in somehow, and how better than a prank war? Bellatrix is indeed at the end of this chapter, although Sirius found an alternative to the tickling charm. And don't worry, Voldemort's going to be sent to a finishing school to learn manners if he isn't careful. VOLDEMORT: *Gulps*  
  
Noriko M. Chijinu: I can TELL you're on sugar! Sugar is GOOD. 'kay, I wrote!  
  
Sailor Grape: Remus just loves having the upper hand on Snape, which is why he's madly recruiting. Yeah, Siri and Sam were having trouble in the thinking department. I'll see what I can do about the net....*laughs evilly* Thanks!  
  
chibidark angel ~ Thanks! Yeah, Draco should have left their hair, but that'd be a little suspicious, because of Seamus's hair too. Heh, getting tangled in the netting, that WOULD be funny! Oh year, Snape is doomed. There's no way he can win with everyone against him.....is there?  
  
NayNymic ~ Thanks! I know, I know, it's taking WAY too long. I'm sorry! But really, Harry and Seamus only found out that they like them in the morning, and Draco and Blaise still don't know. Er, did that sentence make sense? Anyway, yeah Remus is brilliant isn't he? Were you referring specifically to MY Remus, or just Remus in general? Can you forgive me for the withdrawal long enough to keep reading?  
  
Jasini ~ All righty.  
  
cRazy-Girl-3000 ~ Why thank you! I do love being an evil author. As you will soon see. And nah, the foam baseball bats didn't really hurt THAT much, I was just being overly dramatic. I tend to do that sometimes.  
  
krazymelmo5385 ~ Thanks, I did! Kinda.  
  
TanisaFyre ~ Yes, I still don't know if Lucius was telling the truth about the tickling charm or not...And you're welcome for the lack-of-cliffie.  
  
Lyla Snape ~ Heh, I kinda forgot about the Animagus thing until you mentioned it, so I figured out an explanation and put it in! Yay me! Glad you like!  
  
ClosingMyEyes ~ Why thank you, I'm flattered!  
  
luin-lote ~ Thanks. And I'm glad you like the pranks, and the story.  
  
Dark-One Shadowphyre ~ S'okay, I forgive you. I just hope you can forgive me for taking so long to update again! Heh heh, yeah, Harry does tend to get a little evil with his revenge. And even just when having fun, as you'll see.  
  
Rose Creighton ~ Thanks!  
  
ShadowQuirk ~ Thank you! Yeah, they do look so cute, huh?  
  
Morbid Mind ~ I got you hooked? I am so good at that.....oh okay, so I'm really exaggerating now. Glad you liked the nicknames; would you believe it took me half an hour to think of Harry's?  
  
Thanks again, all of you! And PLEASE don't kill me after this chapter!  
  
DISCLAIMER: Now really, if you've gotten this far and STILL need me to put this, well. You must be a lawyer. Go away, little lawyer. Or I'll sic Sylvan on you.  
  
SYLVAN: Hey! I mean, uh, yeah! Run, lawyer, run!  
  
IMPORTANT DESPERATE PLEADING NOTE: I am begging here. If any fanfic authors could help me, then I'd love you forever. I'm doing a study on Harry Potter Fanfiction for English class, and I'd like to ask a few authors some questions. If you'd be so kind as to help me, then either email me at silverwolf7007@yahoo.com.au or leave your email in a review and say so. PLEASE! I really need your help, and I have about a week to get this done, as I've been leaving it to the last minute as usual.  
  
PLEASE HELP!  
  
Thanks,  
  
~SW  
  
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@  
  
Harry, Seamus, And The Master Plan  
  
By SilverWolf7007  
  
Chapter Seventeen ~ Costumes, Hair Colour, and Capture  
  
The next morning when Harry and the pink haired Seamus entered the Great Hall, the first thing they noticed was that Remus wasn't there. The second thing they noticed was that Snape was smirking in a particularly evil fashion.  
  
"This doesn't look good for Moony," Harry commented.  
  
"No," Seamus agreed. "Think we should go find him?"  
  
Harry glanced towards the door, and his eyes widened. "Somehow, I don't think that's necessary."  
  
Seamus followed Harry's gaze and his eyes fell upon quite an interesting sight.  
  
A very pissed off looking Remus was standing there, wearing a furry brown and grey costume, complete with ears, whiskers and snout.  
  
"That's evil," Seamus mumbled, trying not to laugh.  
  
"Yeah. Snape is the epitome of evilness." Harry grinned brightly. "We should kill him!"  
  
Ron sat down beside him. "Who are we killing?"  
  
"Snape," the other two answered as their fellow Gryffindor sixth years joined them.  
  
"Oh. Cool. Any particular reason?"  
  
Harry nodded his head at Remus, who was heading towards them. "Snape is evil. He put Moony in a wolf costume."  
  
Ron's eyes widened. "Oh, that IS evil!"  
  
Remus looked at Harry. "Prank him." He turned and walked towards his seat at the staff table, ignoring Snape who was struggling to hide his laughter.  
  
Harry smirked and caught Draco's eye across the room. The blond got the message and the two of them pulled out their wands.  
  
They glanced at each other one last time, before mentally counting to three and casting their spell.  
  
Remus lost his pissed off look and began to laugh hysterically at Snape, who'd stopped smirking and was now sending a glare of death at everyone in the room, who were either laughing or trying to hide that fact.  
  
Ron's jaw dropped. "That's brilliant."  
  
Harry grinned. "I know."  
  
Snape stood up and tried to stalk out of the room, but tripped slightly. He managed to stumble out after a minute, everyone's laughter following him.  
  
"I can't believe you did that."  
  
"Well I did, Seamus."  
  
"I noticed. That's a brilliant idea, Harry."  
  
"I know, Seamus."  
  
"You are the king of pranks."  
  
"I had help."  
  
Seamus's eyes lost their slightly glazed look. "From who???"  
  
Harry smirked. "Wouldn't YOU like to know?"  
  
"Damn right I would!"  
  
"You know that I'm not going to tell you."  
  
"Yes Harry. I know."  
  
"Good."  
  
"That is pure genius."  
  
"I know, Seamus," Harry said with a grin.  
  
"You put Snape in a ball gown, Harry."  
  
"Yes Seamus."  
  
"Bloody hell Harry, you ought to get a medal for that!"  
  
"Damn straight!" Ron agreed vehemently. "But why was he stumbling?"  
  
Harry just grinned evilly. "High heels."  
  
"Lime green suits him," Dean commented, grinning.  
  
Neville nodded. "Oh yes. I think he ought to wear it more often." He smirked. "Particularly in dress form."  
  
Seamus laughed suddenly. "Snape's dress matches Ron's hair!"  
  
Ron groaned and Harry laughed.  
  
Hermione sighed. "What's going on, exactly?"  
  
"Who cares?" Ron asked. "Snape just got pranked; we ought to be laughing hysterically."  
  
"Prank war," Seamus told her. "Snape started it with Remus, and we decided to help him."  
  
Hermione just sighed again. "Typical. Once a Marauder, always a Marauder, I suppose. I almost feel sorry for Snape with you three against him. And I KNOW that whenever Snuffles gets back he'll get in on it too."  
  
Harry nodded cheerfully. "Yep. Snape won't know WHAT hit him."  
  
Ron chuckled. "Get him good, Harry. And if you ever need help from your fellow Gryffindor sixth year males............"  
  
"You can count on us!" Neville and Dean finished.  
  
"That's always an encouraging thought," Seamus said with a grin. "What about the ladies?" he asked, turning hopefully to Hermione, Lavender and Parvati.  
  
The three girls glanced at each other.  
  
Lavender sighed. "Oh I suppose so."  
  
Parvati nodded. "But only in a real emergency, all right?"  
  
They all looked at Hermione. She sighed. "Oh fine. But don't expect me to actually prank him."  
  
The eight of them grinned and went back to their breakfast.  
  
Harry glanced across the Hall and caught Draco's eye. The blond winked. Harry smiled back.  
  
**********************************************  
  
"What sort of mood are you in this morning, Minerva?"  
  
The Transfiguration professor eyed the werewolf sitting beside her. "Quite a good one, after seeing Severus in that dress. Why?"  
  
Remus smiled hopefully. "I was hoping that, being the wonderful and kind person you are, you'd find it in your heart to transfigure this costume back into the robes I was wearing this morning. Please?"  
  
Minerva rolled her eyes and grinned affectionately. "Very well, Remus. But only after you tell me what's been going on these past few days."  
  
He sighed. "To my office, then?"  
  
"Let's go."  
  
**********************************************  
  
The Gryffindor sixth years had wandered back up to the Common Room after breakfast to hang out for a while before separating.  
  
Harry gazed at Ron and Seamus, who were sitting on either end of a couch. "You know, I think I'm going to start collecting them."  
  
"Collecting what?" Dean asked warily.  
  
Harry smirked pulled out his wand and turned Dean's hair blue. "Friends with weird hair colours."  
  
Dean rolled his eyes and sighed long-sufferingly. "You're an idiot, Harry." He sat down between Ron and the arm of the couch.  
  
Harry grinned. "Hey, you guys do make a nice collection." He noticed that there was room for another two people on the couch between Ron and Dean.  
  
He turned and looked at the girls and Neville. "Anyone want to volunteer?"  
  
Lavender and Hermione just gave him a Look, and he ruled them out.  
  
Parvati and Neville looked at each other, before shrugging and sitting on the couch.  
  
Harry laughed and tapped his wand on the table in thought.  
  
A minute later, Neville's hair was purple and Parvati's was bright orange.  
  
The five on the couch just grinned, and Dean turned his wand on Harry. "Any preferences?"  
  
Harry considered, and then grinned. "Silver!"  
  
Dean laughed, and turned Harry's hair bright, metallic silver. Harry eyed the couch.  
  
Ron's eyes widened and he shook his head frantically. Neville and Parvati grinned at him encouragingly.  
  
Dean rolled his eyes and sighed in resignation. Seamus raised an eyebrow.  
  
Harry just smirked and sat on the arm next to Seamus. Ron sighed with relief.  
  
Parvati gave Harry a look. He winked and slid off the arm, ending up with his head in her lap and his lower legs on Seamus's.  
  
Ron glared at his best friend. "Why does it always have to be ME?"  
  
Harry shrugged. He scooted back a bit, removing his backside from Ron. Neville rolled his eyes, but didn't comment. Seamus sent a death glare at Harry's leather boots, which were now on his lap.  
  
Ginny and Colin, who'd just returned from breakfast, couldn't help but laugh at the sight of the sixth year covered couch. Hermione and Lavender were sitting on another couch across from them.  
  
Colin smirked and pulled out his camera, getting in a few good shots and racing up to his room to develop the finished film. Ginny shrugged and followed him.  
  
Hermione grinned. "I can't wait to see Colin's finished photo album of us at the end of the year."  
  
The others all nodded. Each year since his fourth, Colin had taken pictures of each year and put them into albums. Each person from each house got a copy of their year, and there were always pictures that no one even knew he'd taken.  
  
Colin had been annoying when he was younger, but he was a good friend now, and a brilliant photographer.  
  
"I still can't get over that picture of Harry and Malfoy he took last year." Lavender grinned, and Harry sighed.  
  
Colin had managed to find he and Draco just after they'd called their truce, and had taken a few pictures. Neither of them had had any clue until they'd gotten their copies of the album, and then they'd banded together for a week and pranked Colin.  
  
The photo that Lavender was referring to, of course, was the one in which the two rivals were smiling at each other, having just completed the truce.  
  
Parvati nodded. "I know, Lav. They just looked so cute getting along together!"  
  
Seamus smirked. "Yeah, they really did. See Harry, I told you to be nice to Malfoy. The girls think it's cute!"  
  
Harry gave him a Look worth of Lavender and Hermione.  
  
The two girls gazed at him with wide eyes, sniffing proudly.  
  
"Our little Harry's all grown up," Lavender said sadly.  
  
Hermione nodded. "I know," she sniffed. "Using Looks like that............we've taught him well, Lav, but it's time for him to move on in the world."  
  
The other six were staring at them.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Nothing," they chorused.  
  
They both shrugged.  
  
Harry glanced at his watch. "Sorry to lay on you all and run, but I've got a meeting with Professor Moony in a minute."  
  
Neville sighed loudly. "Good. Now remove your arse from my lap before I decide to kick it from here to Antarctica."  
  
Harry stood up and headed to the exit. "See you guys later."  
  
After he'd gone, Seamus stood up as well. "I've got to get that Transfiguration essay done, so I'm library bound. See yas!" He practically bounced out of the room.  
  
"Nutters," Ron said decisively. Dean nodded.  
  
***********************************************  
  
"Uh, Sirius?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I've just thought of another way we might be able to get out."  
  
His eyes lit up. "Really?"  
  
Sam nodded. "Yes. Why don't you try your Animagus form?"  
  
Sirius grinned for a minute, before eyeing the net they were trapped in and shaking his head with a defeated sigh. "It's no good, Sammy, the net's too cramped as it is. If I transformed, I'd probably crush you and not even have the room to bite or claw my way out."  
  
"Damn."  
  
"My thoughts exactly."  
  
"You'd think the Death Eaters would check their nets more often," Sam commented.  
  
Sirius nodded. "I know. It's crazy, really. I almost think we'll be in here for the rest of our lives." He sighed again. "I'd kill for a PortKey."  
  
"I don't believe it," Sam said, staring at him with wide eyes.  
  
Sirius gave her a look. "Of course I woul - "  
  
"Siri, shut up! Don't you get it?" Sam was grinning now, and trying to reach into her pocket. "We still have the emergency PortKey!"  
  
His jaw dropped. "My god, I don't believe it! We've been stuck in here for ages, and didn't think of it!"  
  
Sam finally managed to pull the small silver box out of her pocket. "Hit the button," she said, holding it out to him.  
  
Sirius did so, and the two felt the customary jerk before they crashed to the ground.  
  
"An Anti-PortKey ward?" Sam said incredulously. "I don't believe this!"  
  
"At least we're out of the tree." He reached out of the net and picked up his wand. "And lucky us, we landed right near our wands!"  
  
Sam reached out and grabbed her own, grinning at her brother's best friend. "Very lucky us."  
  
They cast a severing charm on the net and finally pulled it off themselves and stood up.  
  
"Don't move another muscle."  
  
They spun around and realised that they were surrounded. The Death Eater who had spoken removed his mask and smirked at them.  
  
"Avery," Sam spat. "You filthy blond Death Eater prat!"  
  
Sirius eyed Sam's own blonde hair, but didn't comment on it.  
  
"Why hello Samantha," Avery said, still smirking. "And Sirius, how lovely to see you again."  
  
"Terribly sorry I can't say the same for you Avery," Sirius said darkly.  
  
The blond Death Eater turned to the man next to him and nodded.  
  
"Stupefy!"  
  
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@  
  
SIRIUS: Oh come ON! You know, I think authors just hate me.  
  
TOM: Why do you say that?  
  
SIRIUS: Well JK Rowling killed me off, and now SW's gotten me captured by BLOODY DEATH EATERS!!!  
  
SAM: Hey! I'm with you, you know!  
  
LUCIUS: *Clears throat* C'mon, no need to fight. Actually, you ought to get along.  
  
BELLATRIX: Yeah, because you've been captured and will have to work together!  
  
SIRIUS: What the....BITCH! *Leaps on Bellatrix*  
  
BELLATRIX: *Giggling madly* No *gasp* Sirius *gasp* please *gasp* stop!  
  
SIRIUS: NEVER! *Continues to tickle Bellatrix mercilessly in the old fashioned way*  
  
REMUS: *Sigh*  
  
TOM: You know, we ought to do something about them.  
  
REMUS: Yeah. Like locking them both up in a cage together.  
  
TOM: No, that'd just make the problem worse.  
  
REMUS: Yes, but eventually one of them would kill the other.  
  
TOM: You have a point.  
  
VOLDEMORT: No he doesn't! If you did that, then Sirius might eventually kill Bellatrix! And she's my most loyal Death Eater!  
  
LUCIUS: Hey!  
  
VOLDEMORT: Sorry Lucius, but I just don't think your heart is in it any more.  
  
LUCIUS: *Mumbles* Bloody bint.  
  
BELLATRIX: WHAT did you call me???  
  
LUCIUS: Nothing.  
  
BELLATRIX: Good.  
  
SW: Ahem. The story ended over a page ago. Why are we still here?  
  
SYLVAN: Because we're trying to draw the readers' attention away from the fact that you left a terrible cliffhanger in the last section.  
  
TOM: Not to mention the fact that we don't know what Remus is going to tell Minerva.  
  
SIRIUS: Or why Harry's meeting Remus - if that's even what he's doing.  
  
SAM: Or what's going to happen in the library between Seamus and Blaise.  
  
SW: Okay, okay, so I went a little overboard with the cliffies. I CANT BLOODY HELP IT!  
  
TOM: Calm down, it's okay.  
  
SYLVAN: *To Lucius* See. We SAID she couldn't go long without writing a cliffhanger.  
  
LUCIUS: *Nods*  
  
VOLDEMORT: Oh! I just realised something!  
  
BELLATRIX: What, Master?  
  
VOLDEMORT: Avery, the anonymous Death Eater beside him and a whole heap of minions are about to bring me Sirius and Sam! Yay! I get to torture them!  
  
SIRIUS & SAM: Oh crap.  
  
LUCIUS: I pity you.  
  
Anyway, I am sorry about the wait! Hope you enjoyed!  
  
And please, if you'd answer some questions for me as I begged above, I'd be really grateful. And my English teacher would leave me alive to save Sirius and Sam.  
  
Please review!  
  
~SW 


	18. Insane Genius and Jumping off Bricks

Okay. I survived high school. Yay me.  
  
Thank you so much, everyone who offered to answer questions for my English assignment. I only emailed three people, because any more than that and I'd have been over my stupid word limit. I don't know what I got on the assignment (because my teacher never gave them back to us), but thanks heaps to you for offering.  
  
Chapter is dedicated to NayNymic, the crazy ladies, and Miss Lesley for answering my questions so well and really helping me with the essay.  
  
Guys, I am really sorry, but if I want to get this posted I'm not going to have time for many replies.  
  
Thanks so much though!  
  
~Silver Sparklze (You tied Ginny up with purple fairy floss? How does that work? I haven't ever seen it in purple!)  
  
~Obsessed4  
  
~Sailor Grape  
  
~TanisaFyre  
  
~I Am The Bunny Slayer  
  
~Hayley  
  
~LoonyLoopyLisa  
  
~Noriko M. Chijinu  
  
~Chronicles Bailey  
  
~Web Walker  
  
~krazymelmo5385  
  
~fjb  
  
~Siderius Cimmerii  
  
~NayNymic  
  
~willow-nymph  
  
~Lyla Snape  
  
~Clairchen  
  
~MedNar  
  
~The It (I would be honoured to be captured by you. Can I get some more details on this captured thing though? Sounds fun)  
  
~Dea Liberty  
  
~Dragenphly  
  
~cRazy-Girl-3000 (gulps...I don't particularly want to get reacquainted with the baseball bats...)  
  
~Yana5  
  
~SmileyYaoiChick  
  
~rose-dragon (Thank you SO much for telling me about the hair thing, I'm going to change that right away. I had no idea!)  
  
~The Chaotic Ones  
  
~Weasley Wonders (Glad SOMEONE liked the cliffie!)  
  
~insanechildfanfic  
  
Again, thanks so much! I really appreciate it!  
  
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@  
  
Harry, Seamus, And The Master Plan  
  
By SilverWolf7007  
  
Chapter Eighteen ~ Interesting Conversations, Revelations, Insane Genius, And Jumping Off Bricks  
  
Parvati and Neville had left the Common Room not long after Harry and Seamus, deciding to visit Hagrid (or, more accurately, Parvati had dragged Neville down there to see the hippogriffs again).  
  
"I still don't see what's so great about hippogriffs, Ti."  
  
She rolled her eyes. "Well for starters Nev, they're really cute. And elegant. Plus, they're really smart." They had reached the Great Hall by now. "But the main reason that we're going down there is so we can discuss what's been going on with everyone else, without said everyone else being there to overhear us."  
  
Neville sighed. He should have expected that. Parvati had an often insatiable curiosity. He'd been wondering why she hadn't brought this up before. Lack of privacy, no doubt.  
  
When they reached Hagrid's hut, they discovered that the half-giant wasn't there, but Parvati headed on to the hippogriffs paddock. They leaned on the fence, just watching them as they talked.  
  
Parvati quickly took charge. "What do we know?"  
  
Neville raised an eyebrow. "Not that much. Ron, 'Mione, Dean and Lav are using the Five to find out whether Harry and Seamus are a couple."  
  
"Harry had help with that spell he did on Snape this morning," Parvati told him.  
  
"What, really? From who, Ti?"  
  
"None other than Draco Malfoy."  
  
Neville's jaw dropped. "Oh you have GOT to be kidding me!"  
  
She shook her head. "Nope. And I saw Seamus, Blaise Zabini, as well as Jason and Maddy Nott outside the library last night. And I know for a fact that Harry was in there. WITH Malfoy."  
  
"Plus all the time that Harry and Seamus have been spending with Professor Lupin. Something's going on there. And I think they were the ones who locked Ron and 'Mione in the DADA classroom."  
  
"Really? Wow, this is really complicated, Nev."  
  
"You have no idea. Somehow, Owen Caudwell and Orla Quirke are involved in this too."  
  
"Owen in Hufflepuff and Orla in Ravenclaw? The third years who are friends with some of the Five?"  
  
"Yup. Ti, from what I've heard, Orla and Owen have been telling people things about Seamus and Harry, such as how Harry is supposedly thinking of asking Lisa Turpin out."  
  
"You think Harry and Seamus are using them to throw the Five off the scent?" He nodded. "But then how did they even find out?!"  
  
"Probably Maddy Nott. She's like their Slytherin spy. She'd have heard Emma and Malcolm discussing it, although I'd have thought they'd have been more careful." Neville sighed. "You know what, Ti?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"I reckon we should just keep our heads down on this one. Pay attention, but try not to get involved. The way Seamus and Harry have been acting, I think they're the ones to watch. They're up to something, and I don't think that it's really worth us getting involved."  
  
"But Nev........."  
  
"No buts. Let's just be careful. Seamus plotting is bad enough, but Harry.........well. After taking over the prankster mantle, he's been more unpredictable than before."  
  
"You're right. This might be innocent drama worthy of a cheap soap opera, or it might have something to do with another one of his world-saving plans."  
  
"Or worse. It might be a Incident-worthy catastrophe."  
  
Parvati shuddered. "And that would be very, very bad."  
  
***************************************************  
  
Having escaped from the Common Room, Harry had headed towards the dungeons, hoping to find Draco and drag him off to see Remus.  
  
Unfortunately, finding the Slytherin had proved somewhat more difficult than he'd thought it would be, and he had spent the past half an hour on a Malfoy-hunt, searching as much of the castle as he thought Draco was likely to be in.  
  
Harry went back in the direction of the dungeons, deciding that if he didn't find Draco this time, then he'd just go to Remus by himself.  
  
Not watching where he was going, Harry managed to run headlong into someone not too far from the Potions classroom.  
  
"Watch where you're go - oh. It's you."  
  
Harry raised an eyebrow. "You don't seem pleased to see me. I'm hurt Sevvie, really."  
  
The Potions Master's left eye twitched. "Haven't I told you not to call me that?"  
  
"Actually, it was Remus you were telling, not me. And I was all the way on the other side of the room and probably wasn't listening."  
  
"You are a brat, Harry. Now tell me what you're doing in my dungeons or I'll give you detention and take several thousand points from Gryffindor. Just because I don't like you."  
  
"Aw, you know you love me Sevvie." Snape glared. "Okay, okay. I was looking for Draco."  
  
"As in, Draco 'your hated rival' Malfoy?"  
  
Harry grinned. "Yes, that would be the one. I was hoping to talk to him about our Care of Magical Creatures assignment before I have to visit Remus."  
  
"You're on his side, then?"  
  
"Duh. He asked first. Have you seen Draco?"  
  
"Not recently."  
  
"Ah. Too bad, really." He gave the Potions Master a shrewd look. "And before I continue my search, you are going to tell me why you were rushing along the hallway so fast you managed to run into a student who was walking quite slowly."  
  
"Dumbledore called a meeting. If it's anything important, I'll find you and tell you later."  
  
"So Remus won't be there when I go to find him anyway."  
  
"I'm afraid not."  
  
Harry shrugged. "Oh well. I can still find Draco. And then maybe we can harass Blaise and Seamus!" he exclaimed brightly.  
  
Snape rolled his eyes. "As long as you leave most of the castle standing, I don't particularly care what you do."  
  
"All right!"  
  
"Five points from Gryffindor for encouraging a teacher to ignore misbehaviour."  
  
"And yet somehow, that doesn't surprise me. I just hope no one asks what I lost those points for."  
  
"If anyone asks, tell them it was for pranking me."  
  
Harry's eyes widened innocently. "Me? Why Sevvie, I'm shocked! I'd never do such a thing!"  
  
Slowly, Snape raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Oh okay, so maybe I would. But that doesn't mean that I did!"  
  
"Harry. I am not an idiot. Even if you weren't the only one, at the very least you helped with that prank. It just stinks of Harry Potter. And you know I don't appreciate being pranked." He frowned in consideration. "In fact, let's make that another twenty-five points from Gryffindor. That makes a nice round thirty. You can blame Remus for that."  
  
"You, Severus Snape, are a mean bully."  
  
He blinked. "Well, yes. But you knew that."  
  
"Very true. You'd better get to that meeting you're going to be late for."  
  
Snape looked at his watch, cursed, and headed for Dumbledore's office, not even glancing at Harry.  
  
Harry rolled his eyes exasperatedly. "Gee, bye? That man is annoying."  
  
Before he reached the end of the hallway, Snape turned sharply and stared at Harry.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Why do you have silver hair?" he asked wearily.  
  
Harry laughed. "Dean did it."  
  
The head of Slytherin shook his head slowly. "And here I have proof that the entirety of Gryffindor house are utterly insane." He turned on his heel and left.  
  
Harry sighed. "Well that's not a very nice thing to say. Even if it is fairly true."  
  
"Talking to yourself, Harry? Isn't that the first sign of madness?"  
  
He turned and grinned at Maddy. "Sure is. And I've never denied being mad. In fact, I'm fairly sure I am."  
  
She sighed. "You're impossible, Harry. Now, what ARE you doing in Slytherin territory? Trying to get yourself eaten?"  
  
"Eaten?"  
  
"Oh yes, Slytherins have been known to eat unwary Gryffindors who travel unwittingly into their midst."  
  
"Huh. Imagine that. All these years as a Gryffindor, and yet I've never been eaten. And I come down here a lot."  
  
"You're just lucky then. So, why are you here?"  
  
"Honestly? I'm looking for Draco. Have you seen him?"  
  
Maddy nodded. "He's in the Common Room. I can send him out, if you like."  
  
"Thanks Maddy, that'd be great."  
  
They walked in silence to the entrance to the Slytherin Common Room. When they reached it, Harry stood back as Maddy whispered the password and stepped in. Before it closed, she spoke. "See you later Harry. And have fun!"  
  
Harry rolled his eyes and waited.  
  
**************************************************  
  
Minerva stared at Remus in shock. "Oh my."  
  
He nodded, smiling cheerfully. "A very amusing tale, really, if you ignore all the rule breaking going on for this all to take place."  
  
"Oh I'm ignoring all right. What on earth possessed Harry and Seamus to go to such great lengths simply to date a couple of Slytherins?"  
  
Remus laughed and shrugged. "I can honestly say I haven't a clue. But they have been trying to set Ron and Hermione up for a long time, so perhaps this is just another excuse to work really hard at it. And I think Seamus has liked Blaise for a while."  
  
"I can't believe I've been missing all of this! Promise me you'll tell me what's happening from now on?"  
  
"Of course. Now you know, it would be simply cruel to deny you. After all, curiosity killed the cat, and I'm quite aware of your Animagus form."  
  
Minerva indulged in behaviour not normally associated with Gryffindor's head of house, and poked her tongue out at the werewolf. "You are an impudent brat, Remus Lupin."  
  
He grinned. "You have told me so on numerous occasions, so it must be true."  
  
Both of them jumped as a letter appeared on Remus's desk. He recovered and picked it up, opening it and beginning to read.  
  
'Remus,  
  
There is to be a meeting of some importance. Come to my office immediately.  
  
Albus'  
  
He passed the note to Minerva as a second appeared in her lap, having failed to reach her in her office.  
  
She sighed. "We'd best go."  
  
"Yes," he said, standing up with a sigh. "And just when I was in such a good mood."  
  
"As was I. And now, for all we know, someone's been killed."  
  
Remus went pale. "Siri and Sam were spying on the Death Eaters."  
  
Minerva's eyes widened, but she shook her head. "I'm sure they're fine, Remus. No need to worry. Albus has probably just decided to have another Yule Ball."  
  
He nodded, but Minerva could still see the worry in his eyes.  
  
*****************************************************  
  
Seamus sighed as he stepped into the library. At least now he and Ron weren't the only ones with weird hair colours. Now if only they could get Hermione and Lavender as well.........  
  
Blaise was already sitting at a table with his books out, and was writing something on a ratty looking piece of parchment.  
  
"Hey," he said as he sat down.  
  
The Slytherin looked up as Seamus began taking out his own books. "Hi. I was just writing down an idea I had for pranking Snape." He passed it to him. "What do you think?"  
  
Seamus read it over about five times, before looking up and staring wide- eyed at the dark haired teen. "This, Blaise Zabini, is utter insane genius worthy of Harry himself."  
  
Blaise raised an eyebrow. "And I'm just going to assume that was a compliment."  
  
"It was. Absolutely. Harry's going to love it, and so is Remus as far as I can tell."  
  
"Good. Now, let's get to this Transfiguration."  
  
"Yeah. Last thing we need is to fail and have Professor Minnie giving detentions."  
  
"Professor Minnie???"  
  
Seamus grinned. "Long story. I'll tell it to you some time. When we don't have an assignment from her."  
  
Blaise nodded and gave him a smile, and they both got to work.  
  
******************************************************  
  
The first thing that Sirius noticed was that he had a headache. The second thing he noticed was that someone was shaking him. He groaned.  
  
"Sirius! C'mon Siri, wake up!"  
  
He opened his eyes. "Sam?"  
  
"Yes. Of course it's me. Who else was captured by Death Eaters with you?"  
  
"Ummm........."  
  
"No one, moron. We're here alone, and we have no way to contact Dumbledore. They don't know we're here."  
  
Sirius's eyes widened. "As in, we could be here long enough to be killed and no one would even know anything was wrong?"  
  
Sam nodded. "Pretty much. Its too bad Sev was discovered, or he'd have found a way to get us out."  
  
Sirius was silent, processing that thought. "I don't like your husband, but I can't help but feel the same way right now."  
  
She smiled. "I thought you'd see it my way."  
  
"So any ideas on how we're getting out of here?"  
  
"You're not," a familiar voice said from outside the cell they were in. "You're both going to be questioned, and then you're going to die."  
  
Sam sighed. "Avery, go jump off a brick."  
  
Sirius blinked. "And what good is that going to do?"  
  
His companion smiled. "Well, I forgot to mention that said brick is on the very top of a high tower."  
  
"Ahhh. That all makes so much more sense now."  
  
"Would you two shut up in there?!"  
  
"Leave them be, Avery," a second voice said lazily. "Let them talk if it makes them feel better. They might let something slip."  
  
Sam's left eye twitched, something she'd picked up from Severus. "I hate you."  
  
"Good!" the second man said cheerfully. "Because I hate you too!"  
  
"You're sounding oddly cheerful, Lucius. Want to share the good news?" Sirius asked mockingly.  
  
"Why yes I do actually. You see, Black, I have earned the privilege of extracting information from you two. And I get to do it with no one else in the room."  
  
Sam and Sirius glanced at each other, but neither spoke.  
  
"I'd be scared too, if I were you," Avery commented.  
  
"Shut up, Avery."  
  
The blond man snorted, and they heard him walking away. "Have fun, Lucius," he called as he went.  
  
Lucius smirked as he stepped into the cell. "I assure you I will," he replied.  
  
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@  
  
BELLATRIX: Why don't I get to torture Sirius and Sam if I'm Voldemort's most loyal Death Eater?  
  
LUCIUS: Because in this fic, so far you're still in Azkaban.  
  
BELLATRIX: SW, can I get out?  
  
SW: Maybe. We'll have to see. I'm not really planning an Azkaban break-out. Yet.  
  
SIRIUS: (Drowning in sarcasm) Oh yes, because letting the Bitch out of prison is SUCH a good idea.  
  
TOM: She never said she WAS going to do it.  
  
VOLDEMORT: Although I think she should.  
  
SYLVAN: You don't count.  
  
LUCIUS: She's done another cliffhanger again.  
  
SYLVAN: Yeah, I know. (Looks pointedly at Remus) Would someone do something about that?  
  
REMUS: And what do you expect ME to do?  
  
BELLATRIX: (Hopefully) Kill her off?  
  
SW: Hey! I could just kill YOU off, you know!  
  
TOM: She could, too. She could make you suicide in your Azkaban cell.  
  
BELLATRIX: (Sulks)  
  
SAM: I kinda agree with Bellatrix, though.  
  
SIRIUS: Yeah. The Bitch did kill me, but she's got the right idea.  
  
LUCIUS: I'd shut up if I were you two. She could just make me torture and kill you both.  
  
SW: Damn straight! I'm the author here, I have the power! Mwahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!  
  
EVERYONE: (Backing away slowly)  
  
MADDY: My god, things are getting weird around here.  
  
BLAISE: (Nods) Let's go.  
  
MADDY & BLAISE: (Vanish)  
  
SW: Why were they here?  
  
LUCIUS: (Moves forward again) I don't know.  
  
SYLVAN: (Still backing) Just relieving the comic stress, I think.  
  
SW: Oh.  
  
SIRIUS & SAM: I wanna be FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
DUMBLEDORE: I want to hold my meeting and give out lemon drops to certain dour Potions Masters!  
  
SEVERUS: I want the damned meeting to be over, and my wife to be free, and to know exactly WHY I'm on first name terms with HARRY POTTER!!!!!  
  
REMUS: I want chocolate.  
  
ALL: (Stare at Remus)  
  
REMUS: What?  
  
SW: (Rolls eyes) Whatever.  
  
Okay despite the fact that I took forever to update, I hope you can all find it in your hearts to forgive me.  
  
In the next chapter, I will do my best to adhere to at least SOME of the above wishes. Like Remus's chocolate.  
  
REMUS: Yay!  
  
Please review!  
  
~SW 


	19. Killer Rabbits from Jupiter

I hate college. It takes me an hour on a bus every morning and afternoon, it's bloody cold and only gonna get colder in the mornings, and there is TOO MUCH HOMEWORK!! Okay, so I don't get THAT much, but what I have been getting takes so much time I haven't been able to email two of my best friends, let alone write fanfic!  
  
Now I'm done with the rant, I shall apologise for not updating sooner. I had a total block as to what I should do with Siri and Sam. A Random Idea struck, and I finished the chapter. Yay for Random Ideas.  
  
I Am The Bunny Slayer Why thank you!  
  
Misty97051 Glad you like it!  
  
Silver Sparklze Computers are evil. Mine died RIGHT BEFORE I had to pass an essay in..............Y'know, now I think about it I think I've seen purple fairy floss before, at the Hobart Show a couple of years ago...but being that it was a while ago I'm not sure. We have all kinds of funky stuff here in Australia? Like what?! Meh, I'm not really thinking straight right now. And Remus has something to say. REMUS: THANK YOU!!!!! I worship you!!! As you can see, the werewolf loves his chocolate!  
  
LoonyLoopyLisa Glad you liked the convos. Sorry 'bout the cliffie, but Siri and Sam have a bit in this chapter!  
  
Obsessed4 Jumping up and down? Gee, you were a little excited! And about the 'jumping off bricks', I used that a month or so ago. Went down fairly well actually, although there was a little debate about bricks and the Eiffel Tower, and exactly WHERE you jumped. (Such as, brick is sitting at the top of the Eiffel Tower, and you jump off, but only off the brick not the tower.) Anyway, I'm glad you like this fic so much!  
  
Noriko M. Chijinu Nice jig. The brick thing was random, I think I said it to my brother once. Didn't quite work.  
  
Insanechildfanfic Thanks!  
  
kneazles I think you're right about the CCD. And don't worry, Sirius will turn out fine at the end. Really.  
  
Sailor Grape The Snape thing....well, I need to explain that. Probably next chapter, but don't quote me on that. Neville and Parvati are rather observant, especially Neville. He's quiet, and spends a lot of time watching people.  
  
The Chaotic Ones Eeep. I don't think I took as long, but I may be totally wrong about that.  
  
Dea Liberty You like my Sevvie? YAY! I'm glad you like it, but please don't eat me..........please?  
  
cRazy-Girl-3000 You like my A/Ns? Seems a few other people do too. And on that matter, they're a bit short this time because it's late, but I'll try to make up for that. Can you remember the other fic yet? I'm kinda curious. Looks hopeful Um, will you take the horrible sickly yellow coco pops out of my hair now please? I have given up on baseball bat fear due to certain sticky stuff in my hair. Does that stuff really exist? Sounds........Icky.  
  
SephyGirl Glad you liked it!  
  
Ginny 13A I tried..........  
  
wolfen-alysha-draco-dragon More it is then!  
  
Lady Darkness13 Thanks! And I'm sure Sevvie appreciates the lemon drops.  
  
Debs Thank you!  
  
Benjis VIP Wow, thanks!  
  
latin-freak Glad you like this fic. And since you asked, and reminded me, I will work on 'The Worlds Last Hope is WHO???' next. And thank you.  
  
MiakaChan5 Thanks, and sorry about the confusion. Snape and Harry will be explained soon, promise!  
  
Thanks again so much to you all; reviewers really brighten my days!

* * *

Harry, Seamus, And The Master Plan  
  
By SilverWolf7007  
  
Chapter Nineteen Meetings, New Information, And Killer Rabbits From Jupiter  
  
Out of the people Remus expected to be attending the meeting, there were four people missing, and Albus was refusing to start the meeting without them.  
  
Molly Weasley sighed. "It's not like Percy to be this late."  
  
"Or Severus, for that matter," Poppy added.  
  
Arthur chuckled. "Fred and George, on the other hand........."  
  
Charlie and Bill laughed as Molly and Minerva groaned. Albus and Poppy merely smiled.  
  
Remus grinned. "Sounds familiar. Although, they were usually on time for MY lessons."  
  
Minerva glared at him. "You probably gave them pranking tips, so they'd actually attend."  
  
"I most certainly did not!"  
  
She was prevented from commenting further as the door opened and Percy stepped in, nodded at everyone, and collapsed into his chair with a groan. "Never again," he muttered.  
  
"Never again what?" Bill asked his younger brother.  
  
"Never again will I set foot in that madhouse most tend to refer to as Weasley's Wizard Wheezes."  
  
Charlie blinked. "You went to Fred and George's shop? Percy, have you been doing drugs?"  
  
"Of course not!" Percy replied indignantly. "I went to tell them about the meeting, as Albus asked me to do, and the bastards let me tell them before chasing me out with bloody colour changing potions!"  
  
The twins entered then, and smiled innocently at their parents and brother as they sat down.  
  
"Where the hell is that idiot Potions Master?!" Minerva demanded.  
  
"No idea, I didn't know we had one," Severus replied as he closed the door behind him and collapsed into his seat rather like Percy had done. "Minerva, your Gryffindor sixth years are insane."  
  
"Well, yes, they are," she replied blankly. "Your point?"  
  
"I got caught up talking to your idiot godson. He currently has silver hair."  
  
Albus cleared his throat before anyone could reply. "We are on a bit of a tight schedule, I'm afraid. I have some bad news."  
  
Remus glanced at Minerva, who gave him a reassuring smile. It didn't really reassure him, but he thought it was a nice gesture.  
  
"What is it?" Molly asked, a concerned frown on her face.  
  
"At first we thought there was nothing to worry about," Albus began. "Sirius and Samantha hadn't checked in as planned."  
  
Remus caught Severus's eye. Both of them were thinking the same thing.  
  
"But they have continued to stay out of contact. We don't believe they are in any immediate danger, but I thought you should all know."  
  
No one spoke.  
  
"Minerva, Remus, Severus, would you mind staying behind for a few minutes?"  
  
All three nodded wordlessly, and the others began to leave.

* * *

Harry leaned against the wall with his arms crossed, staring at the entrance to the Slytherin Common Room and tapped his foot.  
  
Five minutes later, it opened and Draco stepped out.  
  
"You sure took your time," Harry said irritably.  
  
Draco rolled his eyes, and then noticed Harry's hair. "Do I even want to know?"  
  
Harry grinned. "Probably not, but I'll tell you. I'm collecting friends with odd hair colours. Dean then decided to change mine."  
  
The blond glared at him in warning. "Touch my hair, and it'll be the last thing you do."  
  
"I wouldn't dream of it, Draco. Really." He smiled mischievously. "On the other hand, I think you should start collecting too."  
  
Draco began to smirk. "Why Harry, I'm simply shocked! Are you insinuating that we go and find Blaise and Jason and change their hair?"  
  
"Well, no. I'm downright telling you!"  
  
"Great! Sounds like fun."  
  
The two of them headed in the direction of the library.  
  
"Not that I don't like the idea of finding and annoying Blaise, but was there another reason you had Maddy drag me away from Quidditch Through the Ages?"  
  
"Well, I was going to drag you to Remus's office, but apparently he's busy, so I kinda didn't have a reason any more, other than plotting pranks for Snape."  
  
"Oh well. Hey, last night you said something about not being able to eat with Seamus in public. What was that about?"  
  
Harry grinned. "Over the summer I found out that Seamus doesn't live that far away from me, and we hung out a lot. We went to this really expensive restaurant, all dressed up and everything, and ordered our food."  
  
"None of that seems like a reason to be unable to eat near him."  
  
"I know, I know. Let me finish."  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"Anyway, everything went fine until something I said caused Seamus to absolutely crack up laughing. Unfortunately, he was drinking at the time. He choked on it and it went everywhere. That was bad enough, but we weren't kicked out yet."  
  
"There was something else? Wait a sec, you were KICKED OUT???"  
  
"Seamus decided to get me back for making him choke by flicking ice-cream at me, once we got to dessert. I retaliated, and we ended up in a food fight. THEN we got kicked out."  
  
Draco was laughing. "And it's because of that?"  
  
"Partly. Every time we went somewhere and ate after that, even in Fortescue's, one of us made the other choke and we ended up in a food fight. We got over it here, but the choking still happens on occasion."  
  
"You two are insane."  
  
Harry nodded happily. "We sure are!"  
  
Draco just shook his head with a grin. "'C'mon, let's get going."

* * *

Sirius looked up and glared as Lucius closed the cell door behind him, while Sam seemed to be ignoring the blond man.  
  
None of them spoke until Lucius had applied several locking and silencing charms, as well as one to warn him if anyone was in the corridor outside. When he was done he pulled a potion out of his pocket and drank it.  
  
His face contorted, both with pain and the rearranging of his features. A minute later the man standing before them was no longer Lucius Malfoy.  
  
Sam looked confused and shocked. "But you're.........."  
  
The man in question quirked an eyebrow. "Supposed to be dead? Supposed to be Malfoy? Really handsome?"  
  
Sirius glared at him. "Shut up, Rosier. Just don't talk. Was there something you wanted?"  
  
"I don't get it," Sam muttered. She turned to the two men. "Will someone please tell me why Evan Rosier is standing here, seemingly impersonating Lucius Malfoy, and rather conspicuously NOT DEAD???"  
  
**_Flashback_**  
  
"I would think that your spy could at least be on time, Albus," Minerva said irritably, having been waiting fifteen minutes for this mysterious person to show themself.  
  
Albus smiled at her. "Calm yourself, Minerva, I'm sure it wont be long now." True to his words, they heard footsteps on the stairs and looked towards the doorway expectantly.  
  
She, Sirius and Remus were stunned as Lucius Malfoy walked into Dumbledore's office, and offered a polite nod to the headmaster. "Morning all."  
  
"This is our spy?" Minerva asked incredulously. "Lucius Malfoy???"  
  
Malfoy smiled. "Actually, no. Lucius Malfoy is currently locked in a cell under Malfoy Manor. I'm just under Polyjuice Potion."  
  
"And just who are you? And how long has this been going on?"  
  
The man impersonating Malfoy rolled his eyes affectionately. "You never run out of questions, do you Remus?" He received a glare. "All right, all right. Since the middle of last year. I've been working undercover for the Unspeakables in the Muggle world for years now after faking my own death, and by chance I caught Malfoy speaking with someone via the fire about some rather incriminating things I wont go into now. I came here to Dumbledore with an idea, and he agreed. So I've been impersonating our evil friend since then, reporting in on everything I was privy to."  
  
"And who are you?" Minerva asked again. Sirius was just as curious, but the expression on Remus's face seemed to indicate that the werewolf had at least some idea.  
  
It had, apparently, been an hour since the potion had last been administered, and slowly the man in front of them changed. Shorter, slimmer, dirty-blond hair and amused amber eyes.  
  
"Evan?" Remus said, hardly daring to believe it. "Is it really you?"  
  
The ex-Slytherin grinned happily. "Sure is. We've got a lot to catch up on, cousin."  
  
**_End Flashback_**

* * *

"Finally, I'm done!" Seamus cried, dramatically collapsing on top of his essay, throwing his quill in the air.  
  
Blaise raised an eyebrow. "So am I, but you don't see ME jumping around like a kangaroo on drugs."  
  
Seamus gave him a highly offended look. "I'll have you know, Mr Zabini, that I do NOT jump around like a kangaroo on drugs!"  
  
"Of course you don't," Blaise said soothingly.  
  
Neither of them had noticed the door to the library open, nor had they seen the smirking teenage boys heading towards them.  
  
But Seamus definitely noticed when Blaise's hair suddenly turned bright red. His head snapped up and he looked around wildly, but didn't see the culprits.  
  
Blaise gave him an odd look. "What's up?"  
  
"Your hair just turned red."  
  
The other boy blinked. "Oh. I'm fairly sure that's not normal."  
  
"Somehow, I didn't think it was."  
  
They heard snickering from behind a nearby bookshelf, and stood up. They stepped around and came face to face with a grinning Harry and Draco.  
  
"You're quite right, Harry," Draco commented. "Red DOES suit him."  
  
"Oh, I know. I've been told I have a very good colour sense."  
  
"I can see that."  
  
The two of them gave Seamus and Blaise identical impish smiles, and the two at the table groaned.  
  
Harry frowned suddenly, looking from Seamus to Blaise and back again several times, before turning to Draco. "Do you see what I see?"  
  
Draco looked at both Seamus and Blaise, but shrugged. "I have no idea what you're babbling about. All I see are two idiots with weird hair."  
  
"Hey!" Blaise yelped. Seamus, unnoticed by anyone, pulled out his wand.  
  
Harry sighed impatiently. "Seamus's hair is pink. Red clashes with pink. As much as it suits him, we can't leave Blaise like this."  
  
"Why don't you change mine?" Seamus asked hopefully, making sure his wand was out of sight as the other three turned to him.  
  
"Because I'd much prefer turning Blaise's white," Draco replied, happily waving his wand. Blaise just sighed as his hair changed from red to white.  
  
Seamus quickly cast his own spell, pocketing his wand as soon as he was done.  
  
Blaise smirked suddenly.  
  
Draco raised an eyebrow. "What's up with you?"  
  
Harry glanced at Blaise, before following his eyes to Draco. He bit his lip to keep from laughing and took a deep breath. "Draco, I hate to be the one to tell you this, but your hair has turned gold. Is that something that happens a lot?"  
  
Draco's eyes widened dramatically, and he snatched a mirror from Madam Pince's desk, peering into it. A panicked expression crossed his face as he found that, sure enough, instead of his usual silvery-blond hair, he was now sporting a nearly glowing deep gold.  
  
The panic faded, replaced with anger. He placed the mirror down and slowly looked up.  
  
Seamus saw Draco's expression as the Slytherin looked up, and he decided that it was well and truly time for him to run. He leapt to his feet, bolted through the door, and headed as far from the library as he could.  
  
Draco blinked. "I'm guessing that was him then?"  
  
"Well it wasn't me, and I don't really think that Seamus would run out of here as though being chased by the killer rabbits from Jupiter if he were innocent," Harry pointed out.  
  
"Killer...rabbits...?" Draco said weakly. "From Jupiter?"  
  
Blaise looked at his watch and sighed with relief. "If you'll excuse us, my white hair and I are going to lunch. Don't take too long in joining us, or there'll be no food left by the time you arrive. We bid you farewell." With that, picked up both his and Seamus's books, turned around and left them in the library.  
  
Harry and Draco sat down at the table. They were silent for a few minutes.  
  
"I can't believe he turned my hair gold!" Draco wailed suddenly.  
  
"It's not really all that different from how it was before," Harry said helpfully.  
  
Draco gave him a pitiful look. "Really?"  
  
Harry smiled. "Of course. It's not like Ron walking into the Hall with lime green hair. In fact, people will be so shocked that my hair is silver, and Blaise's is white, and Neville and Parvati's are purple and orange; they wont even notice that yours is any different."  
  
"And I can always say that I dyed it if anyone does ask."  
  
"Absolutely. D'you think you can face lunch now?"  
  
Draco gave him a grin. "Only if I can come in a second after you. That way, people will be so busy staring at you they wont even notice I'm in the room!"  
  
Harry rolled his eyes. "C'mon then, let's go."  
  
They left the library and headed to the Great Hall.  
  
"Uh, Harry?"  
  
The Gryffindor stopped walking. "Yeah?"  
  
"Was I imagining things earlier, or was Blaise talking about himself in plural?"  
  
"He was talking about his hair."  
  
Draco sighed. "I'm not entirely sure that that's a more positive sign of his sanity."  
  
"Somehow, I don't think so either."  
  
"So, are we going to find Jason after lunch?" the Slytherin asked eagerly.  
  
Harry grinned. "Well, if you really want to...."

* * *

"I know that it's a rather unpleasant task, but I'm afraid that one of you needs to inform Harry of this."  
  
Minerva sighed, looking away from the headmaster to look at Remus and Severus.  
  
"As much as I'd rather not, I think I ought to," Remus stated heavily.  
  
"No need," Severus said smoothly. "I'll tell him."  
  
The other three stared at him.  
  
Severus rolled his eyes. "It's not like I offered to adopt him."  
  
"So why the generous offer, Sevvie?"  
  
"Lupin," the potions master growled warningly.  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"Like I said earlier, I ran into Harry before the meeting. I told him where I was hurrying off to and promised that if it were important I'd track him down later to tell him what was going on."  
  
Dumbledore smiled in amusement. "Not such a chivalrous offer after all, but in order to keep a promise."  
  
"Chivalry is reserved for Gryffindors," he sneered.  
  
Remus rolled his eyes. "Go on, you have a Gryffindor to speak with. Chivalry not withstanding."  
  
"There is nothing chivalrous about Harry Potter. For that matter, there is only the rare Gryffindor trait as well. The boy would have done well in Slytherin." With that, he stood and strode out the door.  
  
Remus raised an eyebrow. "For Severus, that was quite the compliment."  
  
"Indeed," Minerva said, smiling. "Now, why don't we get down to the Great Hall? I know it's only lunch time, but considering the way things seem to have been going lately, I dare not think about the trouble those students of ours might be getting into."

* * *

DUMBLEDORE: (Pouting) I didn't get to give Snape Lemon Drops!  
  
SNAPE: (Relived) Thank Merlin.  
  
REMUS: I didn't get my chocolate. I'm going off to sulk now.  
  
SALAZAR: I still don't see why I can't be in this.  
  
REMUS: (Rolls eyes) Because you've been dead for a thousand years maybe?  
  
SALAZAR: Well, that could be it. Hey, weren't you off sulking.  
  
REMUS: (Shrugs) Changed my mind.  
  
SNAPE: Still not seeing any reasons why I'm getting along with Potter.............. And that's damn annoying, SW!  
  
SW: Well, how about you come take my college courses, and then I can describe it!!!!  
  
SIRIUS: Someone sounds pissed off.  
  
SAM: I think she is.  
  
EVAN: Well duh!  
  
LUCIUS: I hate you, Rosier.  
  
EVAN: (Is FAR too cheerful) I know, isn't it wonderful?  
  
VOLDEMORT: Stupid little spy person.  
  
EVAN: Oh, I know. I'm a bloody menace, I am.  
  
LUCIUS: Bellatrix, Narcissa, could you help me out here please?  
  
BELLATRIX: Not likely! I want to win points with Voldemort once I'm out of Azkaban, after all!  
  
NARCISSA: And how does leaving a spy in his midst help you?  
  
BELLATRIX: Well, I have someone to expose later!  
  
NARCISSA: Uh huh.  
  
SYLVAN: Anyway, SW's got to get this chapter posted. So we'll all shut up now. (Sends meaningful glares at everyone else. They shut up)  
  
SW: Thanks Sylv!  
  
SYLVAN: Anytime.  
  
Anyway, please review!  
  
SW 


	20. Werepenguins and Puppy Dog Eyes

* * *

Good eve – uh, morning ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to the exceptionally late chapter twenty of this fanfiction! Please, keep all weapons pointed away from the author and instead point them at certain detestable individuals – ie our dear Minister Fudge.  
  
That said, I am so sorry that this took so damn long, but first there is exams (still not QUITE over) and my computers inability to connect to the net anymore. I'm on a computer in the college library (faster than mine anyway though...)  
  
Now, before reading this chapter, please duck back to chapter nineteen, where the scene with the flashback has been rewritten, and Minerva has one more line to say at the end.  
  
LoonyLoopyLisa Gee, I had no idea that the killer bunnies from Jupiter would get such a reaction...glad you like!  
  
mercyangel I know the feeling, my friends mostly have their natural hair colours, and yet they are all weird...  
  
Elle Aw, thanks! And the collecting shall continue.  
  
Benjis VIP Thanks! Don't know about the okay part, I think he's just going to put it out of his head until they know more.  
  
Silver Sparklze Thank you! I know, I know, I DO need to write faster. Hopefully the next chapter will be out sooner than this one!  
  
Liber Creperum-Liber Diabolus Thanks! More it is...  
  
The It Is sitting in cage throwing nuts in order to, as you said, drive you nuts Glad you like the story.  
  
Obsessed4 Scream, eh? So, did you get more weird looks or less this time? And don't worry, I would NEVER desert this fic! I adore writing it too much. So thanks.  
  
TheSilverLady Thank you.  
  
insanechildfanfic Ta, darling.  
  
madden Thanks!  
  
Sparticus17 Thank you so much! I know, it DOES get a little sidetracked, but we'll get there eventually. Glad you like the build up. And don't worry about Snape, he'll get 'em back. I adore Blaise too, and I'm definitely with you on the he's a guy, tell us more about him front. Thanks again!  
  
Wihstrum Thanks, I'm glad you like it. I haven't had time to read your fic yet, but believe me, it's on my to do list.  
  
The Chaotic Ones Aw, thanks.  
  
cRazy-GIrL-3000 Oh thank you! That stuff was getting even ickier by the second! Glares warningly No inventing icky sticky stuff! Purple hair? Wow, that's cool. Mine's just brown. I had copper foils put in about six months ago, but you can hardly even see them. I wanted pink...And no, you do NOT need to invent the icky rice bubbles. So, did you end up finding that fic? You didn't tell me, so I'm guessing not...  
  
BlackSparrow Thanks!  
  
KatFay Thank you! I wish I could do that to my friends too, but I think they'd kill me...  
  
Dragenphly Glad you liked the hair. I know, the spy thing IS confusing, even had me confused for a while, and even now...well, someday it'll make sense. Hopefully.  
  
Chronicles Bailey falls over from being tackleglomped I see you were very excited by this update. I'm glad about that.  
  
Dark-One Shadowphyre I understand about being insane like Harry, and of course it's a very interesting thing. Oh, half the time I don't know how to take it either, and it comes out of my head!  
  
henriette Thanks. Plot is wide, yeah, which sometimes leads to badness. But also gives me more room to work in.  
  
Ginny13A 'kay.  
  
Rowenna7 Thanks! Yeah, I like Harry being friends with other people too, and I adore Seamus. I just like putting all the Gryffindors in his year together, cos I just think they could all be really good friends. I'm glad you like my characterisation. I know the slash is way overdue, but we'll get there!  
  
StarBot Thank you!  
  
Something Shiney Thanks!  
  
Chi7890 I haven't read the Abhorsen trilogy yet, though I have been meaning to. When I do, of course, I will now see Mogget as Felix...and I know, the next button always disappears at the most terrible times...good think I'm updating now, it'll come back!  
  
kristalnacht Me is guessing that you don't like cliffies...  
  
chibidark angel Dumbledore forgot to give Snape the lemon drops, and as soon as possible Remus will get chocolate. Though not on Sirius, sadly. And don't worry, you weren't really that late, and it doesn't matter. Harry and Draco matching, I didn't even realise it until you mentioned it! They'll get together sooner or later, probably sooner though. And probably before Seamus and Blaise. Or after, I'm not too sure yet. Hermione and Lavender, well...evil grin you'll see next chapter. Would be an adorable picture, now if only I could actually draw better than stick figures...And one more thing – no one said that Sam and Siri were free...Rosier cant blow his cover like that. Problem is, I haven't written the next part with Siri, Sam and Rosier yet.  
  
Right then. Has everyone read the revisions? Good. Now, enjoy the chapter!

* * *

Harry, Seamus, And The Master Plan  
  
By SilverWolf7007  
  
Chapter Twenty Were-Penguins, Puppy Dog Eyes, Blaming Harry, And Adding To The Collection  
  
Ten minutes later, Minerva realised that it wasn't just the students that were getting into trouble. Severus, it seemed, had left Remus a 'gift' before going on his hunt for Harry.  
  
"You know, if this wasn't me, and if it hadn't been him, I'd be praising the man's brilliance by now," the werewolf said in a conversational tone. "Of course, the fact is, it IS me, and when I get out of this mess he's going to be sorry he ever started this damn war!"  
  
Minerva refrained from commenting, knowing perfectly well that it would just infuriate him more. As, of course, would laughter on her part. The students and half of the staff were already laughing at the Defence teacher's predicament, and she could tell that his patience was wearing thin.  
  
"If it helps at all, Remus, blue really is your colour."  
  
Slowly he turned and gave poor Flitwick his own version of the now infamous 'Harry Potter Death Glare'. The charms teacher gave a squeak and turned to Professor Sprout on his other side.  
  
Amanda Hooch, however, was not so easily dissuaded. "Now really Remus, there's no need to be like that. You accepted Severus's challenge, so you're as much to blame as he is for this."  
  
Remus turned his glare on Hooch. "So you're telling me that Severus charming my tea to turn me into a bloody blue and yellow penguin is my own fault, is it?"  
  
Hooch blinked a couple of times, and then slowly backed away from her incredibly pissed off colleague.  
  
"Maybe Harry will arrive soon, Remus. He ought to be able to fix this."  
  
Minerva's comforting words were undermined by the smile threatening to break onto her face, and the slight tremor in her words that indicated barely suppressed laughter. Remus just glared at her.

* * *

Maddy stepped into the Astronomy Tower with her eyes closed. "Jason, if you and Sarah are in here snogging, then bloody well stop it before I open my eyes."  
  
A startled squeal and muttered swearing confirmed her hunch.  
  
"What the hell are you doing here, Madeleine?" her cousin demanded.  
  
Maddy tentatively opened her eyes and found Jason standing in front of her. Ignoring him, she looked further into the room and gave Sarah a shy smile.  
  
The Ravenclaw girl stepped up beside her boyfriend and grinned at Maddy. "Hi there."  
  
"Hey. Terribly sorry to interrupt," she said with a sarcastic roll of her eyes. "But it's lunch time, and Jase, you know that Draco and Blaise will give you a hard time if you don't show."  
  
"Padma and Lisa are likely to do the same thing," Sarah added apologetically to Jason.  
  
He shrugged. "Let's go then. Thanks for coming and finding us, Maddy."  
  
She grinned. "What else did I have to do?"  
  
Jason laughed. "Good point. I'm guessing that Emma and Malcolm are nowhere to be found."  
  
"Lunch, probably. Either that or the Five are convening somewhere."  
  
Sarah smiled at them in amusement. "I'm not even gonna try to work out what you guys are on about."  
  
Jason grinned and slung his arm over her shoulders. "Probably a good idea. It's likely that if we were to tell you, it could take us a week."

* * *

Five steps into the Great Hall, Harry was surprised to see that not even one single person was glancing in his direction. He followed their gazes to the Staff Table and immediately understood why.  
  
"Oh dear. I really ought to help him out," he muttered.  
  
Draco stepped up next to him and gave a hopeful look. "Can I take a few pictures first?"  
  
Unable to resist the blond, he sighed. "All right then, but only if you promise to take pictures of the other pranks too."  
  
The Slytherin smirked. "I have been."  
  
Harry grinned and turned back to the table while Draco pulled out his camera and took a few photos.  
  
"You done yet?"  
  
"Yep. I'm going to eat something, have fun playing with penguin boy over there."  
  
"Werewolves have very good hearing, you know."  
  
Draco paled. "You don't think he heard me, do you?"  
  
"Nah," Harry assured him. "If he did, that glare of his would be directed at you, rather than at Snape's empty seat."  
  
The blond sighed in relief. "Oh good, the last thing I want is him hexing my lunch."  
  
"Hm. See you back in the library after lunch then?"  
  
"Of course." Draco gave Harry a devious smirk. "We have an appointment to keep involving hair styles, I seem to recall."  
  
Harry smirked back. "I do believe you're right."

* * *

Severus had left Dumbledore's office, ducked into the Great Hall to quickly hex Remus's chosen drink for the day, and then headed to the dungeons in search of Harry, snickering to himself about mental images of the soon to be were-penguin.  
  
He was ten steps into the dungeons when he realised what time it was and that the most likely place he would find Harry was the Great Hall. "Dammit!"  
  
He stopped and leaned against the wall, trying to recall exactly how he managed to get himself into these situations. 'Of course,' he thought. 'It's all Harry's fault. He manages to get himself involved on the fringe of nearly anything that happens, and ends up right in the bloody middle of it. Then, of course, if the last year or so has been any indication, he takes a rather Slytherin approach to solving whatever it was that he was involved in. It's a bloody miracle the brat's still alive.' Severus sighed. 'If it weren't for him, I'd be eating lunch right now. And moping.'  
  
Moving away from the wall, he headed away from the dungeons, deciding that lunch came first, and he'd probably see Harry there anyway.  
  
Oh yeah. Harry would be there, and he'd take the spell off Remus before Severus even got a chance to lay eyes on the were-penguin. 'If I don't get to see my own work, I know who to blame.'  
  
Of course, when was anything NOT Harry's fault these days?

* * *

Remus heard someone clear their throat in front of him, so he looked away from his glaring match with his sandwich and came face to face with the person he had been waiting for. "Took your bloody time, kid," he growled.  
  
Harry raised an amused eyebrow, unfazed by the man's tone. "Be polite, Professor Moony, or I might just leave you like that."  
  
Anger forgotten, Remus employed his most pathetic, pleading expression - the one that Sirius, James, Harry, Seamus, Sam and even Minerva had always referred to as 'the irresistible puppy dog eyes'.  
  
With a sigh, Harry pulled out his wand. "I swear, that look ought to be illegal. You could get anyone to do anything." With a wave and a few whispered words, the guise of a penguin vanished from the Defence professor. "Better?"  
  
"Much, thanks. I think I'm going to take care of the retaliation myself this time, though."  
  
"Sure, it's up to you. But I have a question."  
  
"Ask it," Remus said curiously.  
  
"Why didn't you just get Professor Minnie to fix it for you?"  
  
Ignoring Minerva's twitching eye at the nickname, Remus grinned. "It had to be you, Harry. Or someone else involved. Minerva is an impartial bystander, and by the rules of the game is therefore unable to interfere." He gave a shrug. "I didn't make up the rules, and I never have found out who did."  
  
"Maybe we will, someday."  
  
"I bloody well hope so," Remus muttered, the growl returning to his voice. "I'm going to thoroughly kick the - "  
  
"Remus!"  
  
"Pineapple juice out of them." He turned to Minerva with an innocent smile. "What did you think I was going to say, Minnie?"  
  
She glared at him through narrowed eyes. "Just be glad I cant interfere, Lupin, else you'd be in a damn lot of trouble."  
  
Harry glanced between them, noting that undermining their lighter words were signs of stress and worry. Frowning slightly, he decided to leave it for now. It was undoubtedly something to do with the meeting that Dumbledore had called, and he would wait for Severus to find him after lunch and tell him what had happened.  
  
He had noticed Severus enter the Great Hall not long before he had ended the spell, and chose to leave quickly before Remus realised the Potions Master was there.  
  
Interrupting Minerva's rather colourful description of what she would do to Remus if she could, Harry cleared his throat again. "This is where I leave you, at a very fast pace feeling slightly worried for your sanity." He backed away a few paces before turning sharply and heading to the Gryffindor table.

* * *

As Harry sat down, Seamus turned to him. "Er, did you calm the dragon? About the hair?"  
  
Rolling his eyes, Harry nodded. "Yeah, but the other one ended up talking about his hair as though it were a separate entity. We, and they, need some serious therapy."  
  
"I know, I know." He leaned a little closer; making sure no one overheard them. "How's Plan B coming along?"  
  
Harry gave him a decidedly evil grin. "Well, it still involves a Malfoy, but now I've employed Hogsmeade as well. Not to mention some more chocolate."  
  
Seamus laughed. "Might want to hurry up with the planning, though."  
  
"I do realise that. The first opportunity we're going to get to go to Hogsmeade isn't until the weekend though. We'll have five days to plan."  
  
"Right then. What are you doing after dinner tonight?"  
  
"Plotting Plan B, by the sounds of things."  
  
"Bring your dragon with you. We'll need his help, especially since you plan on involving him."  
  
Harry nodded. "You bring hair boy, then. Library?"  
  
"Hermione and Lavender are going to be there. Maybe if we change their hair they'll leave."  
  
"Either that or they'll kill us."  
  
"We'll have to risk it," Seamus announced. "We can always hide far away from them."  
  
"Very true." Harry grinned hopefully. "Can you bring the chocolate?"  
  
Laughing, Seamus nodded, and the two turned their attention to their food.

* * *

After lunch was over, Severus followed Harry at a distance to the library, and arrived just in time to hear him ask an eager looking Draco Malfoy, "So where would he be right now? I saw him leave the Hall, but Sarah was still there when I left."  
  
Draco shrugged. "I dunno, I was hoping he'd show up he - " he cut himself off as he spied Severus standing behind Harry.  
  
The Gryffindor turned as Draco fell silent and raised an eyebrow at the Potions Master. "Is this about the meeting?"  
  
Severus gave a sharp nod, eyeing Draco in confusion. Just to confuse him more, the blond gave him a bright grin.  
  
"I thought so." He turned to his companion. "Draco, do you mind?"  
  
"Of course. I'll go on a Jason hunt, and I'll be back in about fifteen minutes."  
  
Harry nodded and watched him leave the library before turning to Severus. "Well? What's wrong?"  
  
"I will never understand how you always know when something is wrong."  
  
"You're right, you wont," he said with a grin, before his expression turned serious. "Now spill."

* * *

Draco had barely been out of the library for two minutes when he literally ran into Maddy. "Ow!"  
  
"Sorry Draco!"  
  
"No, it's my fault Maddy, I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."  
  
She shrugged. "Either way, it doesn't matter. Looking for someone?"  
  
"Jason, actually. Have you seen him?"  
  
"He was headed to the Common Room last I saw him. What do you need him for?"  
  
Suddenly struck with an idea, Draco grinned. "Oh, Harry and I were working on something in the library, and we need a few people to help us."  
  
"Could I help at all?" she asked, not too sure that she'd be able to because of her year.  
  
He gave her a delighted smile. "That would be brilliant Maddy, thanks. Could you help me find Jase first?"  
  
She nodded, and the two of them headed to the dungeons.

* * *

By the time that Draco returned to the library with Maddy and Jason, Severus was gone. Harry was sitting in a chair with his feet on the table, staring into space. To Draco, it was obvious that he was brooding about something, and as much as he wanted to know what that was and help him deal with it, now was probably not the time - especially with Maddy and Jason there.  
  
"Hey Harry, Maddy and Jason agreed to help us with that experiment," he said as he dropped down into the seat next to him. The other two Slytherins sat across from them, looking curious.  
  
Harry looked up at him with a raised eyebrow, then caught onto Draco's plan and grinned. "That's great! I'm so glad you're able to help out."  
  
"No problem," Jason said with a grin. He couldn't help but feel rather friendly towards one of the people who had helped his cousin settle in at Hogwarts.  
  
"So, what do you think?" Draco asked Harry.  
  
The dark haired teen dropped his feet to the floor and considered their unsuspecting victims. "Maddy's red, absolutely. A very bright red. What about Jason?"  
  
Draco copied Harry's considering look, watching his friend. "Hm, what do you think of a fluorescent yellow-green?"  
  
Harry grinned deviously. "Perfect. Shall we?"  
  
"Oh no, you do the honours."  
  
"Thank you, I appreciate the opportunity."  
  
"What's going on?" Maddy asked, becoming a little suspicious.  
  
Harry and Draco exchanged a look, and then Harry flicked his wand at the two of them.  
  
"What did you just do?" Jason demanded.  
  
"Added you to the collection, of course." Knowing that didn't help at all, Draco pulled the mirror he'd found for this very occasion while in the dorms out of his bag and handed it to the two of them.  
  
Draco stood up. "Well, this has been fun, now we have to go." He grabbed Harry's hand and dragged him out of the library.  
  
They hadn't taken more than five steps out the door when they heard Maddy scream, and Jason swearing at them, followed by two sets of footsteps.  
  
Laughing, they ran.

* * *

"I don't like this arrangement."  
  
"Tough."  
  
"Why are you doing this? It's not going to grant you the favour of either Dumbledore or Voldemort."  
  
"On the contrary, old friend, I think the Dark Lord will be very pleased when I reveal Dumbledore's spy. He seemed happy enough when Severus was found out."  
  
"So you think that by doing this you're going to become Voldemort's right hand man, is that it?"  
  
"I've had enough of your voice. Now why don't you do something about your companion over there; his unconscious form is really beginning to piss me off."  
  
"They'll find you out. I don't know which side will do it first, but they will. Voldemort may not like spies, but I highly doubt he'll be too pleased with you, either."  
  
"Shut up. Just don't talk."  
  
"Why not? What are you going to do about it?"  
  
"There are many things that I could do. However, I think this one will do for now."  
  
"And which one would that be?"  
  
"This one, of course. Crucio!"

* * *

SIRUS: Who the hell were they???  
  
SNAPE: No idea. Sylvan? Remus?  
  
REMUS: I don't know either.  
  
SYLVAN: I ain't telling. It'll ruin the plot.  
  
BELLATRIX: (Rolls eyes) Who cares?  
  
EVAN: Hm, everyone but you, maybe?  
  
VOLDEMORT: I don't care.  
  
LUCIUS: Well, as long as it isn't me...  
  
SAM: Why oh why oh why oh why –  
  
REMUS: SAMANTHA!!!  
  
SAM: (Innocent) What?  
  
SIRIUS: Why oh why what?  
  
SAM: Why oh why ARE WE STILL IN THAT GODDAMNED CELL AND NOT EVEN GETITNG A GODDAMNED SCENE IN THIS CHAPTER???  
  
SW: Cos I said so dammit!  
  
SAM: Oh.  
  
TOM: Hello everyone!  
  
VOLDEMORT: (Suspicious) Where the hell have you been?  
  
TOM: Nowhere and everywhere.  
  
SIRIUS: Limbo?  
  
REMUS: (Rolls eyes)  
  
TOM: No you dimwit! I was around.  
  
SNAPE: That's what they all say.  
  
TOM: Really? I didn't know that!  
  
EVAN: Hey, where did Salazar go?  
  
EVERYONE: (Looks around)  
  
NARCISSA: Uh oh...  
  
LUCIUS: How the hell could we have misplaced Salazar bloody Slytherin???  
  
TOM: I don't want to know...  
  
SYLVAN: This smells like trouble.  
  
REMUS: (Sniffing) Really? I thought it smelled like chocolate.  
  
SIRIUS: No, that's the chocolate in your pocket you're smelling.  
  
REMUS: Oh. Oops.  
  
SYLVAN: Indeed.  
  
SNAPE: You know what really pisses me off about this chapter?  
  
SAM: What?  
  
SNAPE: That there is still no explanation for the whole me getting along with the Slytherin-ish Gryffindor golden boy.  
  
SW: Yeah, that'll happen eventually, really!  
  
SNAPE: Yeah sure...  
  
SYLVAN: How about we let SW post the chapter now?  
  
EVERYONE BUT SYLVAN & SW: All right then...  
  
Okay, now that's over...  
  
Please review!  
  
SW 


	21. Fifty Seven Bottles of Beer on the Wall

* * *

I know that, as usual, this chapter took forever, but if it helps at all it's quite a bit longer than any previous chapters. The whole original plot (Harry and Seamus set Ron and Hermione up, then Seamus sets Harry and Draco up...) is dragging, I know. But I'm writing without leaving out days at a time, (though I couldn't tell you why I chose to write this fic this way) and it just seems to be taking a while. I promise though, I will never give up on this fic. The point is, the slash shall take a bit more time – Harry and Seamus only just found out that Draco and Blaise are interested.

Again, I am posting at school (thanks to Jan the evil computer), and I'm in English class. I do have over an hour and a half left though, so it'll get done. Now, let's just hope my English teacher doesn't wander over too often...he usually doesn't though.

Benjis VIP – Indeed they do.

Katarina – Okay then...

Elle. H. M. – Aw, thank you! And uh, no, I'm not telling you who the spy is. You'll find out soon enough. Heh heh.

Rowenna – Thanks, collecting is fun, and I'm getting to the slash, don't worry!

chibidark angel – Ta darling...and don't worry about the slip up with Siri and Sam, I can see how you'd make the mistake. Calm down a little, Siri and Sam are fine...kinda. I think Remus would have committed a few murders if he'd been left a penguin...starting with Harry and killing the plot as well! I apologise for the wait, I know how annoying it can be, but...ah well.

mercyangel – Well, maybe you're right...this one ought to make up for it. And I know I left Siri and Sam out, I had no inspiration for their part in the story...but they're in this chapter.

Ashley1022 – Thank you!

TTF – Right, I'll number these answers according to the chapter you reviewed...1 – Glad you liked it, and there was a point to the pointless banter...it was pointlessness. 6 – Hm, well, dialogue is what I'm best at, but I'm working on it. Maybe I should go back and change those to initials instead...and 20 – Aw, I know it's a bit pointless...but it's fun. I'm pulling the plot back on track – they're about to start plotting plan B, and I finally explained that Orla and Owen thing. Other than that, I'm glad you like it.

Chi7890 – Thanks, and the penguin was fun, wasn't it?

LoonyLoopyLisa – Thankies, and the collection is near complete. Later shall be mission: Hermione and Lavender...

Dragenphly – Thanks, glad you like.

Mark of CTown – Well, thanks. And the Jarveys were not cute – they are evil critters of doom (grin), well maybe not.

henriette – It's okay, Sevvie managed to get in just in time to see...

mojo-jojo241 – Don't worry, it wont be too much longer. And thanks.

Noriko M. Chijinu – REMUS: Arghh! No! My chocolate! My preciousssss...SW: Oh dear...

trixie – (blinks).....good question. I don't actually think he does! Whoops...

cRazy-GIrL-3000 – Well fair enough, if the author does update tell me, if you remember. Wow, that is an awful lot of times to have read a story...I'm flattered that it's mine. Those evil people in white coats, taking your chocolate...never mind that you gave it to them, that's not the point. I guess I kinda think of you as a friend as well, so congrats on the bf! Um, I hope you're still going out, anyway...and has to be good that he stands the reading of H/D...I don't know that any of the guys I know would...well, you never know. Cya!

Morsus – Thanks so much!

karenelaine – Don't worry, I'm never going to give up. I'm glad you like it, and the spy thing...well, it's complicated and currently only half worked out. Sooner or later, though, it'll be explained.

Now if you guys will excuse me, I ought to post this and think about getting back to my English work...

* * *

Harry, Seamus, And The Master Plan

By SilverWolf7007

Chapter Twenty-One – Hiding From Maddy, Fifty-Seven Bottles Of Beer On The Wall, And Is Everyone Going To The Library???

Once they'd left the castle, Harry and Draco slowed to a walk, feeling that they were safe enough from Maddy and Jason for now.

It took them a few minutes of walking in silence for them to realise they were still holding hands.

Harry blinked. He pulled his hand back slowly, glancing at Draco as he did. The blonde's cheeks were tinged slightly pink, and Harry knew his own were probably brighter.

"So," Draco said after a few tension filled minutes. "We still have a couple of hours before dinner. What are we going to do?"

Feeling unaccountably relieved, Harry thought about what they could do. "Hm," he murmured, a slow smirk appearing on his face. "Well, after dinner we have to meet Seamus and Blaise in the library."

Draco looked confused. "What for?"

"To work on setting Ron and Hermione up, of course. I've come up with half a plan, but I need help working it all out. We have until Saturday."

"Why Saturday? Wait, I know. Hogsmeade?"

Harry nodded. "Yep. And no, I'm not going to tell you anything until after dinner. You may actually have to be patient."

Draco gave a mock horrified gasp. "Oh no, whatever shall I do?" he asked sarcastically. He rolled his eyes. "I'll have you know, Harry Potter, that I can be very patient when the mood strikes me."

"And that, of course, is only once in a pink polka dotted moon."

Draco responded in the most mature fashion he possibly could. He stuck out his tongue.

With just as much maturity, Harry replied in kind.

Turning slightly to look Harry right in the eyes, Draco stared.

Harry stared back, trying not to blink. 'It's like staring down a hippogriff,' he thought absently. 'Only far more pleasing on the eyes. Hm, they aren't just grey, there's blue in there too...'

Draco's eyes began to water, straining to close. He refused. 'Think of Harry's eyes. I must continue to look at his eyes.'

"Oh Harry! Draco!"

The deceptively sweet tone of Maddy's voice broke both of their concentration, and they blinked in surprise and horror.

"Run!" Harry yelped, grabbing Draco's hand and pulling. The blonde didn't protest.

Ten minutes later, they were hiding behind Hagrid's hut, and there was no sign of Maddy.

"I've worked out what we're going to do until dinner," Harry said breathlessly, leaning back against the hut.

"Oh? What's that?" Draco asked in the same tone, leaning beside him.

"Hide from Maddy."

"Good plan."

* * *

Sam sat leaning against the cold, stone wall. It wasn't comfortable, but it was the best she was going to get at the moment: Sirius, who had been her leaning post until half an hour before, was pacing. Again.

"Siri, why don't you sit down."

He paused for a minute and glared down at her. "What's the point in that?" He began pacing again. "How long have we been in here, Sam? Too bloody long. The only person we've seen was Malfoy, and he doesn't count. What's going on that's so important that they're ignoring prisoners who could hold vital information?"

"Maybe they want to drive us insane," she suggested half-heartedly. "I know it's going to work, too; if you don't sit down, you're pacing is going to kill me."

He rolled his eyes, but sat down at her side, facing the door. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm so bored I almost _want_ the Death Eaters to show up."

She poked him in the arm. "No you don't. What we need is an escape plan."

"I hate to admit it, Sammy, but what we need is help from Evan bloody Rosier."

* * *

Fifth year Ravenclaw Alexander Avery looked at the three other people occupying his dorm room - his three best friends. "Something is going on."

Amanda Branstone of Hufflepuff rolled her eyes. "Alex, something is _always_ going on around here. You know that as well as anyone."

He glared. "That's not what I meant, Manda, and you know it."

"Play nicely, you two," Colin admonished, giving them both a grin.

"Why don't you specify what you mean, Alex?" Ginny suggested, giving all three of them a Look that would have done Hermione and Lavender proud.

"It's Orla and Stewart."

Amanda frowned. "What about them?"

"I think the Five are up to something...and Orla is talking to Stewart a lot more than normal."

Ginny sighed. "That's not really much to go on, Alex."

"Maybe not, Gin," Amanda said slowly. "But Eleanor and Owen are acting odd as well."

Colin shrugged. "The Five are always up to something; Natalie's been acting suspicious as well."

"But Orla and Owen share something in common, don't they," Ginny said, glancing at all of them.

"They're best friends?" Colin asked, not catching on.

"They're close to Harry Potter," Alex realised.

Amanda frowned. "How did that happen, anyway?"

Ginny smiled, remembering. "Well, it was because of that mentoring program thing Dumbledore set up over the summer after our third year. He had two students in Harry's year from different houses work with two students from the other two houses in Orla and Owen's year. One of the older students had to know things about the Muggle world, because that's where they spent half the assigned time. It was designed to both give students more experience in the Muggle world and to help improve house relations."

"How did it go?" Amanda asked.

"Fairly well, but not well enough to be done again, apparently. It's too bad, it would have been fun." She sighed, and then straightened slightly in her seat at Alex's desk. "But the whole point is, we don't want to get involved. It doesn't matter what the Five are up to, nor what Orla and Owen are doing. Whatever it is, we have our own problems to worry about."

Alex sighed and nodded. "Very true. Speaking of which, have you heard back from the twins yet?"

Ginny grinned as Colin laughed. "Yes, I did," she answered. "They said they would, as long as we promise to take photos. I told them that Colin was involved, and they agreed right off."

Amanda and Alex laughed too. Colin and his camera were well known throughout the school.

"Right then," the Ravenclaw said. "We're all set. Shall we plot?"

"Plot we shall," Ginny agreed.

* * *

After sitting in the Common Room with Lavender and Parvati for a while, Hermione had decided to go down to the library.

Her current inability to track down Jason Nott was becoming annoying. The two of them usually met in the library on a Sunday afternoon to study, and she hoped he'd be there.

After they had worked together over the summer with Stewart and Eleanor of the Five, they had found that they had a similar attitude to studying. This had led them to seek each other out when their housemates were reluctant to leave the Common Rooms. It hadn't been long before they had made the meetings regular.

Hermione pushed the library door open and stepped inside, relishing the familiar smell of the thousands of books the shelves were holding.

She smiled as she saw Jason sitting at a table, and she quickly joined him. "Hello."

He looked across the table at her and grinned. "Hey, I was hoping you'd show. I was here with Maddy a few minutes ago, but she left to kill Harry and Draco."

Hermione blinked rapidly in shock, two things spinning in her mind. The first and most noticeable she couldn't help but ask about. "Jason, why on earth is your hair that hideous shade of yellow...or is it green?"

Sighing, he ran a hand though his hair. "I'm afraid that's the reason Maddy's going to kill Harry and Draco. They lured us here under false pretences, and then turned my hair this repulsive colour, and Maddy's red. She chased them out of the castle; I came back here after they'd gotten that far."

"Oh dear. It seems Harry's extending his collection." Seeing his confused frown, she explained. "Harry's been changing the hair colour of pretty much everyone he's friends with, after he changed Seamus's and Lavender dyed Ron."

"You mean Ron's hair, don't you?" he asked, almost sounding hopeful.

She sighed. "Nope. She dyed all of him, including his pyjamas. They and his hair are the only parts that didn't wash clean."

"Ah. It seems I've lost yet another bet to Draco Malfoy. Thankfully, there wasn't actually any money involved." He shrugged. "No loss then."

Hermione frowned, deciding to voice the second thing that had caught her attention and refused to let go. "Jase, what on earth was Harry doing in here with Draco Malfoy?"

He was silent for a few seconds. "Studying, I believe. Potions, or Charms, I'm not quite sure."

"Oh." She wasn't sure she quite believed him, but decided to go along with his story for now. "Well then, what are WE going to study?"

Jason gave her a hopeful smile. "Well, I have a quiz in Transfiguration tomorrow..."

* * *

Having been chased by Maddy across the castle grounds, from the Quidditch pitch to the Herbology greenhouses, Harry and Draco were exhausted and very ready to head inside.

Luckily for them, that was the direction Maddy was chasing them in.

"I can't wait to get inside," Draco muttered, waiting while Harry checked that their way was clear. "I need chocolate."

Harry stepped away from the corner of greenhouse three for a moment and grinned at his companion. "You're in luck, because Seamus is bringing chocolate to the library after dinner."

Draco frowned uncertainly. "Are you sure you're allowed to take that in? Last I heard, Pince banned food and drink from the library, including water, after some incident involving Muggle chewing gum, pumpkin juice, and a few particular rare volumes from the Restricted Section."

Eyes widened in an innocent expression, Harry pulled his own version of 'the irresistible puppy dog eyes' (considered by most to be nearly as effective as Remus's). "But, but, I can't plot devious schemes without chocolate!"

'That has got to be the most adorable expression I've ever seen on anyone's face,' Draco thought absently. He recognised the point Harry was making. "I see, so you guilt trip Pince into letting you have chocolate by using those gorgeous eyes of yours?" His eyes widened slightly as he realised what he'd just said.

Harry blushed slightly. "Well, no, actually. I just sneak it in, and charm my way out of trouble if she catches me."

"That's inspired. Though somewhat Slytherin, if I may say so," he added, a tinge of admiration in his voice.

"Why thank you, kind sir," Harry said with a roll of his eyes. He flashed Draco a quick grin before turning to look around the side of the greenhouse again. He sighed in relief. "We have safe passage to the castle."

They moved away from the Herbology area and made for the castle, fortunately managing to make it to the doors.

"Hey!"

Not bothering to verbally acknowledge the presence of Maddy not too far behind them, they broke into a run as soon as they entered.

"Where are we going?" Draco asked, catching his breath as they ducked into a corridor and slowed to a walk.

Harry thought for a moment before he replied. "Dungeons. If all else fails, we can beg sanctuary from Snape."

Draco raised an eyebrow. "And you think he'd grant it?"

Harry smirked. "Well, it's either that or I'll bug him in the lab."

The blond gave him a shocked stare. "You'd venture into his potions lab on a weekend? You're brave. Insane, but brave."

* * *

"Fifty seven bottles of beer on the wall, fifty seven bottles of beer - "

"Black! Shut the hell up in there!"

Sirius stopped singing and grinned at Sam, who was still sitting next to him across from the door. The only real change was that she now had her fingers firmly lodged in her ears to block out Sirius's rather poor singing.

"But Avery darling, I just love singing for you!" he called through to the Death Eater.

There were a few whispered words, a click, and the door swung open. Avery stepped inside, followed by two other masked Death Eaters.

"Be aware, Black," one of them growled. "We are under strict directives not to cause injury to either of you, but if you do not cease this screeching you believe to be singing, we may decide to locate one of our compatriots who is _not_ under the same restrictions."

Sirius rolled his eyes. There was only on person on the planet who spoke in that particular way, and this was she. "Do stop being so damned anal retentive, Narcissa, you're going to give me a headache."

She pulled off her mask and glared at him. "Do not think you are indispensable, Sirius, because you are not. And you may wish to think yourself lucky," she continued with a smirk. "Lucius has kindly volunteered to remain in your cell during your stay here. That way, we all get some peace."

"How so?" Sam asked. "And why would spending time with your repulsive husband be lucky?"

Narcissa's eyes narrowed, but she answered. "There will be a silencing spell upon this cell, keeping sound away from the ears of those on the outside. And should Lucius wish to, he can render you both incapable of talking for some peace of his own. And it's lucky, Snape, because it is my husband, not myself."

Sirius gave a shrug. "Well, that part's right, fair enough."

Moments later, Avery and Narcissa had left, leaving 'Lucius' to silence the spell. Once he had done so, he spoke. "Took quite a lot of subtle word games before I could volunteer for this job. Give it a few hours, then we'll try to get you out of here."

Sam shook her head. "It's no use, Evan. They know who's in here with us, and as much as I'd like to escape, we can't afford to lose our last spy."

Nodding grimly, Sirius agreed. "Besides, I was having fun singing - "

"Don't even think about it," Sam warned. "Or I'll have Evan silence you."

He rolled his eyes. "Bully."

"Don't I know it."

_

* * *

_

"You want to _what_?"

Glancing back at the other three and gaining encouraging smiles, Ginny repeated herself. "We want to join your side of the prank war, Professor. Lupin has Harry and Seamus, and who knows who else. I'm sure you could use someone to give you a hand."

Severus looked at the four fifth years in front of him and sighed. "You're right, of course. I also have a terrible feeling that Lupin recruited Draco, Blaise and Jason before I got a chance. Very well, Miss Weasley, Miss Branstone, Mr Creevey, Mr Avery. You have just successfully signed up for your first officially declared prank war."

Alex grinned. "Don't worry, sir, we won't let you down."

"I hope not," the professor told him. "Quite frankly, I can't afford to lose any ground here." He gestured to the chairs in front of his desk. "Have a seat, we have a lot to discuss."

They sat, and Ginny leaned forward to begin. "Fred and George are taking requests from both sides. They can't pick, for some reason, but they're willing to give us anything I ask for."

Severus nodded. "Good, we'll need some things that they can get for us. If nothing else, of course, they can go to the apothecary and send me refills for whatever we use."

"I have an idea."

They turned to Amanda expectantly, and, grinning, she began to outline her plan.

* * *

Half way to Snape's office, Harry glanced at his watch and stopped walking.

Draco, who hadn't really been paying attention to where they were going, ran into him. "Ow. Why have we stopped?"

"Dinner time," Harry answered, turning around. "I think all this running around has given me a real appetite...but I'll have to save room for the chocolate, of course."

"Of course," Draco agreed with a grin.

They walked back to the Great Hall, keeping an eye out for Maddy on the way.

"I've just had a thought," Draco said suddenly when they reached the Entrance Hall.

"Oh?"

"I'm going to have to sit at the same table as her." He turned horrified eyes to Harry. "What if she curses my beautiful hair?"

Harry bit his lip to keep from laughing. "Draco, you've already survived it being hexed once; what's Maddy going to do that's worse than changing the colour?"

Draco thought for a moment. "She could cut it off. Or spike it up. Or gel it down again. Or - "

"Draco, calm down!" He put a reassuring hand on the Slytherin's shoulder. "Breathe, just breathe."

He took a few deep breaths and seemed to calm down.

"If it's worrying you that much, you could always eat at the Gryffindor Table."

Draco turned wide, shocked eyes to Harry. "Are you kidding? Weasley would eat me alive!"

Harry laughed. "Ron or Ginny?"

"Probably both," he replied, looking worried. "Maybe if I drag Blaise with me...and Jason...and Pansy..." He turned to Harry, a thoughtful frown on his face. "Are we actually allowed to do that?"

Harry shrugged. "I don't know and I don't care. If it's against the rules, then it's a stupid rule. Either way, Dumbledore will probably see the merit in building up inter house relations again, and won't object."

"Speaking of that, how did you and Pansy go with those two kids you took care of before fifth year? She refuses to talk about it."

"Um...can we talk about this later?"

"Why? What happened?"

Harry shook his head, looking frantic. "Not _that_, Draco, but Maddy's heading this way."

The two of them shot into the Great Hall, heading for their own tables. Maddy followed them in.

Once Maddy had sat down a few seats away from Draco, Blaise and Pansy, the three of them stood up and walked to the Gryffindor table. Maddy glared, but simply began to eat.

Harry sat down in relief, Draco dropping down beside him. "That was close."

"Too close."

Pansy and Blaise had both sat down, and were eyeing Harry and Draco, expecting an explanation.

Seamus, Ron, Neville, Lavender, Parvati and Dean were all staring at the three Slytherins who had joined them.

First to recover, Seamus turned to Blaise. "What's going on?"

The currently white haired boy shrugged. "Haven't a clue. Draco came over, sat down, waited a few minutes then dragged Pansy and I over here."

"You gonna explain, Harry?" Ron demanded, looking annoyed.

Harry grinned. "It's quite simple. We charmed Maddy and Jason's hair, Maddy got pissed off, and she then chased us around the caste grounds all afternoon. She's still looking for revenge."

Seamus groaned. "See, I told you this collecting thing would get you in trouble one of these days."

"Uh, no you didn't."

"Sure I did."

"Nope, I'd remember that."

"Are you sure?"

"'Fraid so."

"Well, damn."

"While we're on the subject," Draco began in a menacing tone, glaring pointedly at Seamus. "I think someone here owes someone else an apology."

"You're right, of course," Lavender said, bowing her head. "Harry, I'm so sorry I didn't finish putting the glitter and sequins on that certificate..."

Harry rolled his eyes, grinning. "I don't think that's what he meant, Lav, but thanks anyway."

Seamus turned and gave Draco a sheepish smile. "Sorry I messed with your hair, Draco. It was Harry's fault for changing everyone else's, though."

"Oh yeah, that's right, blame me," Harry muttered, sulking slightly.

"I'm sure he didn't mean it, Harry," Draco said comfortingly, giving Seamus the 'Malfoy Death Glare' (second in strength only to the now infamous 'Harry Potter Death Glare' - Remus's version coming a close third, tied with Hermione and Lavender's Glare).

Seamus sighed. "I'm sorry Harry...want a sugar quill?"

Harry immediately brightened and took it from him, sticking it in his pocket for after his meal.

"Mental note, feed him sugar when needing to get back in his good books," Blaise murmured to his fellow Slytherins.

Pansy grinned. "Oh yes, it always works. Sugar quills and caramel slice being his favourites."

Everyone but Harry gave her an inquiring look, and she blushed. "The project thing of Dumbledore's...when you spend enough time with someone, you're bound to notice these things."

Harry gave a cough that sounded oddly like 'hot chocolate', followed by a second that could have been 'Minties'.

Draco and Blaise, who both knew Pansy well, grinned.

"Hey, where's Hermione?" Ron asked suddenly. "She said she'd see us at dinner, and she's not here."

"Knowing Hermione, she's probably in the library," Parvati reminded him. "She said something about finding Jason."

"We have a transfiguration quiz tomorrow," Draco said. "She's probably helping him study for that."

Harry nodded absently, his eyes on Lavender's hair.

"Don't even _think_ about it," she warned, not even looking at him.

He shrugged, hiding a smirk. He'd get her yet.

Glancing toward the doors, Harry saw two familiar figures heading in their direction, both looking confused. "Hey Hermione, Jason."

Hermione sat down across from him. "Hello Harry. What's going on?"

Harry gave Jason a nervous smile. "Well, Draco's here to hide from Maddy."

The yellow-green haired Slytherin shrugged, taking the seat between Hermione and Pansy. "Fair enough then. And of course, we're here for moral support."

Draco nodded. "Pretty much."

Despite over half the Gryffindors being both confused and resentful that there were Slytherins invading their table, the sixth years managed to enjoy their dinner and make plans for afterward.

"Ron," Hermione began sweetly. "Do you remember that Potions essay that Snape assigned two weeks ago?"

"Uh, yeah," Ron replied uncertainly. "Why?"

She gave him a Look. "It's due in tomorrow, Ronald Weasley, and I know for a fact that you haven't finished it!"

His jaw dropped. "_Tomorrow_?" he demanded. "I'm _never_ going to get it done in time!"

"Don't worry, Ron," Harry said with a grin. "I'm sure Hermione will give you a hand tonight in the Common Room."

Ron turned hopefully to Hermione. "Would you, 'Mione? Please?"

She rolled her eyes, hiding the smile threatening to appear on her face. "All right, but you have to promise to _try_, Ron. And we'll go to the library."

"Oh, good idea," Parvati agreed. "Neville and I were going to finish that off tonight as well. Can we join you?"

"Of course," Hermione agreed. "Anyone else?"

Jason grinned. "Pansy and I will join you, if you don't mind."

"Please do."

"Wait a sec, who said _I_ wanted to?" Pansy demanded.

Jason raised an eyebrow.

She sighed. "Oh all right, if you insist."

"Hey Lavender, do you want to get a start on that Transfiguration paper due in next week?" Dean asked.

Lavender grinned. "Oh yes, that's a great idea. Common Room or library?"

Dean grimaced. "Well, knowing our housemates like I do, definitely the library."

Harry glanced between Seamus, Draco and Blaise, and he came to a decision. "Fun as the library sounds, I think I'm going to head down to Snape's classroom and practice a few potions." He raised an eyebrow pointedly. "Anyone care to join me?"

Blaise nodded. "All right. I could use some practice myself."

Draco smirked. "Would I _ever_ give up a chance to mess around with fun ingredients in a cauldron?"

Snorting, Harry shook his head. "I highly doubt it. But I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to do something. Or, to be more accurate, to not do something."

He rolled his eyes. "I promise Harry, I wont kill or maim anyone, nor will I destroy Hogwarts or even just Snape's classroom. Happy?"

Harry grinned. "Very." He turned to Seamus. "Are you coming, Imp?"

"Wouldn't miss it for all the Every Flavour Beans in Honeydukes."

"Seamus, you don't even _like_ Every Flavour Beans," Harry reasoned.

"That may have been the point, Harry," Draco pointed out helpfully.

"Draco?"

"Yes Harry?"

"You're _not_ helping."

The blond smirked. "That was the point."

Harry sighed. "I know, I know." He shrugged. "Anyway, are you guys ready to go?"

Receiving three nods, he stood up. "Okay then. See you guys back in the Common Room," he told the others. "Pansy, Jason, I'll see you tomorrow."

A few minutes later, the four of them were heading towards the Potions classroom.

"We're not really going to Snape's classroom, are we Harry?" Seamus asked hopefully once they were far enough away from their library-bound classmates.

"Of course we are. Where else?"

Blaise gave him an odd look. "Won't Snape come in and, well, murder you?"

Harry shook his head. "Not if he knows what's good for him. I have Dumbledore's permission, and Snape himself gives me a hand on occasion."

"I thought Snape hated you. What happened?" Draco asked, utterly confused.

Harry grinned as he remembered meeting Samantha Snape for the first time. "Long story, begins with his wife. Remind me to tell it to you one day."

Seamus frowned. "Why not now?"

"Because, my dear Imp, we have some serious plotting to do."

"Good point."

* * *

SIRIUS: Twenty nine bottles of be –

REMUS: Sirius dear, I am warning you now: Keep singing and soon you'll be singing soprano. 

SIRIUS: (Gulps)

SNAPE: Right, I have a few things to say.

SIRIUS: Please don't.

SAM: (Kicks Sirius)

SIRIUS: OW!

SAM: (Smiles sweetly) Go ahead, Sev.

SNAPE: Thank you. Look, I'm not going to complain, because at least now I have allies in this damned prank war, but we still know nothing about why I get along with Harry so well.

SAM: Well, we know it must have had something to do with me.

SNAPE: How do you figure that?

SIRIUS: (Rolls eyes) Are you even reading the story, Snape? Harry actually said that it began with your wife...Anyway, there's only one good thing about this whole debacle with being in the cell?

SAM: What's that?

SIRIUS: We're actually in the story this chapter.

SAM: Hm, good point.

LUCIUS: Has anyone found Salazar yet?

TOM: (Looking under a rock) Not yet.

VOLDEMORT: You idiot, he's not going to be under that!

TOM: I know that, moron. I was looking for that thing. You know that thing?

VOLDEMORT: What thi – oh, that thing.

NARCISSA: You mean that snake ring Bellatrix gave you for your birthday?

VOLDEMORT & TOM: Shh!

BELLATRIX: You lost it?! How could you lose it?!

VOLDEMORT: Now Bella, there's no need to get testy with me...Tom lost it.

TOM: Hey! I did not! Besides, she gave it to you, not me.

BELLATRIX: I don't care who I gave it to, nor do I care who lost it. I just want you both to FIND IT!!!

TOM & VOLDEMORT: Yes'm.

NARCISSA: They're being oddly well behaved. I think they lost Salazar.

LUCIUS: Those are unfounded accusations, dear.

NARCISSA: Yes, Lucius, you are correct. But that was the point.

EVAN: So, when are we going to get on with the whole spy plotline?

SYLVAN: Later, Evan. Don't bug the author, she'll get pissy.

REMUS: Vamp has a point.

SYLVAN: I know.

EVAN: I'm just saying, there was that whole thing at the end of last chapter, and then she didn't mention it again.

REMUS: Calm down, we'll get there...

BLAISE: I really think that it's about time to stop here, and let SW get the chapter up. We want the readers to actually read it, don't we?

LUCIUS: Good point. Let's get back to searching for that damned founder of Hogwarts.

I really hope they do, I'm getting worried...

Well, that's done. Yay for me.

Please review!  
  
SW


	22. Potions, Kittens, And Plan B

Okay, not even going to try to excuse my lateness. Just gonna post the chapter.

Oh, and don't worry about the updating. I've got Plans now, I think the next chapter will be up far sooner than this was.

Sorry I'm not going to reply to reviews, but I don't have much time if I'm going to get this posted any time soon, but rest assured I appreciate every single review.

Very Large Amounts of Thanks To:

Silver Sparklze

B Madden

Slashwhores

FairyDuster

Andais

musicgirl141

LoonyLoopyLisa

Obsessed4

FairyDuster (again)

cRazy-Girl-3000

Aquarius Star

Shinigami (Snape as Batman…now _there's_ a thought!)

ethan972

Sputzo

maleficus-lupus

Two-Bits

Marblez

Ranma Higurashi

Sapphire Dragons

Ginny13A

Freakedddd

arabelladonna

mercyangel

wizli

sara

Dark-One Shadowphyre (I have plans for the calling Harry Felix in front of Draco thing…ta!)

NephyRiddle

Chronicles Bailey

mlovektowsing

iviascarlet

saFire flame

Alaina (_/Salutes/ _Arse now officially moving, ma'am!)

SemmaFan (You're review _just _made it in time for me to mention you…)

Chapter dedicated to the gal who inspired me to write it by reading this fic…everyone thank Alaina now, she's gotten me thinking…

* * *

Harry, Seamus, And The Master Plan

By SilverWolf7007

Chapter Twenty-Two – Potions, Kittens, And Plan B

Fifteen minutes later, Seamus, Blaise and Draco were watching in utter confusion and no small amount of amazement as Harry happily darted from one area of the Potions classroom to the next, collecting ingredients, various implements, and setting up four cauldrons.

"Er, Harry?" Seamus ventured finally.

Harry paused in setting up some kind of measuring device that none of the three boys had ever seen at the school and blinked at him. "Yes, Seamus?"

Seamus paused slightly at the hint of annoyance in Harry's tone, but decided to ignore it. "I thought we were plotting, not brewing potions."

"We are plotting," Harry assured him. "We've got to have all this set up and be at least PRETENDING to use it just in case a) Snape comes in, or b) someone else, such as Filch or Dumbledore, happens to show up." He returned to carefully balancing the odd device.

"Ah. Um, Harry?"

"Hush up, Imp, this is very delicate work."

Seamus opened his mouth to reply, but found that it was blocked by two Slytherin hands. He eyed both Blaise and Draco over it, then shrugged and moved away to sit on a stool in front of a cauldron.

A few minutes later, Harry moved away from the device with a grin. "That's done it. That thing is bloody annoying to set up, but it comes in damned handy. Besides, it lends us credibility."

"What is it?" Blaise asked him. "I've never seen one before."

Harry shrugged and gave them an impish smile. "It's a measuring thingy. Specifically used for potions, of course. I had to prove my worth as a potions brewer SO many times over before Severus let me even touch it, let alone use it unsupervised." Suddenly he turned from the white haired Slytherin to his housemate. "Seamus, did you remember the chocolate?"

Seamus's eyes widened and he slowly began to back away. "Uh, Har, you know that you're my favourite saviour of the wizarding world..."

"Seamus," Harry growled.

The pink haired boy gulped. "Um?" he squeaked nervously.

Harry sighed mournfully. "All right, Imp, I'll overlook it this once...now get the hell back to the Common Room and get the bloody chocolate, cos I can't plot without it. You know that."

Sighing in relief, Seamus jumped to his feet and sped out of the room. Had any of the other three been listening, they'd have heard his footsteps halt, and moments later a canine's claws scratching the stone floor as Imp made his way to the Gryffindor Tower as fast as possible.

Thankfully, they hadn't been.

* * *

The Five had decided to gather in 'their' classroom that evening to go over their gathered information.

Natalie was the last to arrive, and she pulled the door shut behind her before perching on the edge of the teacher's desk at the front of the room. "Evening, guys."

Eleanor waved in her vague direction, planting her feet on the desk before her. "So. Anyone got anything interesting to report? Anything at all?"

Stewart sighed. "Well, Orla seems to be more chatty than usual. According to her, Harry is thinking of asking Lisa Turpin out."

Eleanor nodded. "Owen's been saying the same sort of thing. Someone seemed to think that Seamus had a secret boyfriend, and I think he may have started that rumour as well."

Frowning, Malcolm looked between the two of them. "So Harry's getting Orla and Owen to spread false information...do you think he knows we're investigating him?"

"Oh crap," Emma muttered. All eyes turned to her. "Maddy," she explained. "I mean, geez, we discussed this in the Common Room, Mal! She probably overheard, and went straight to Harry and Seamus."

Natalie groaned. "Damn! If they know, we're never going to get anything out of them!"

"Don't worry, Nat," Malcolm reassured her. "I'm sure we'll be fine. But we did have a couple of other things to investigate...Stewart, you got anything on Lisa and Padma?"

"It's tricky," he admitted with a rueful grin. "I think Lisa's still with Justin Finch-Fletchy, though I'm not entirely sure. Padma, on the other hand, I still don't know."

"I think she's single," Natalie commented. "Lavender told me earlier that she'd cornered her and tried to get information, and from what she could tell, Padma sounded willing to go on a blind date with someone."

Emma nodded slowly. "Well, that's probably good, for what Hermione and the others are trying to do. I'm still not sure that it's a good idea, though."

"Speaking of the Gryffindors, and also of the Slytherins - "

"El, we weren't talking about the Slytherins."

Eleanor glared. "Hush up, Emma, trying to talk here. Anyways, as I was saying, did anyone catch where they were all headed this evening? And for that matter, why the heck were the Slyths at the Gryffie table in the first place!"

Malcolm shrugged. "Draco just showed up, grabbed Blaise and Pansy, and left. I don't think he actually said a word to them."

"He didn't," Emma confirmed. "That's all I know as well...Nat? They were at your table, after all."

Natalie shuffled back on the desk until she could cross her legs under her, placed her hands in her lap and grinned at her friends. "I was only a few seats down, so I heard practically every word."

Stewart smirked. "Do tell, my friend, do tell."

* * *

It wasn't long before Seamus returned, a large plastic bad filled with bars of Honeydukes' best chocolate in his hand and a worried expression on his face.

Harry took the chocolate and handed each of the others a bar before taking one for himself, unwrapping it and taking a bite. He then looked up at Seamus. "Okay, spill. What's bugging you?"

Sinking onto his stool, Seamus sighed. "It's nothing too bad. I just overheard a conversation between Ginny and Colin while I was in the Common Room."

Draco raised an eyebrow, looking up from the shrivelfig he was slowly and methodically cutting into centimetre square cubes. "And? What's so amazing about that?"

Seamus lazily threw his chocolate wrapper at him. "Nothing in general, but in the specific conversation, they accidentally disclosed some pretty important information."

"Are you actually going to tell us, or draw it out all bloody night?" Harry demanded, glaring over his cauldron.

"Geez, when you put it like that..." Seamus muttered. "Look, the point is, Ginny, Colin, Amanda Branstone and Alexander Avery have joined the prank war...on Snape's side."

Blaise's jaw dropped. "Alex? That traitor!"

"Er, Blaise?"

"Draco?"

"You do realise that, technically, as we are Slytherins and we are in this prank war against our own head of house, that we are the traitors? Ravenclaw has more ties with Slytherin than Gryffindor, it makes more sense for Alex to side with Snape."

Blaise glared at his friend. "Draco, stop poking logic-shaped holes in my perfectly illogical reasoning."

"From what I could make out, I think that the four of them actually approached Snape. Okay, so Alex and even Amanda I can understand, but..." Seamus trailed off and looked hopefully at Harry. "Ginny and Colin?"

Harry shrugged. "What can I say? But anyway, if Draco, Blaise, Jason and Maddy can side with us, there's no reason that they can't side with Snape. Anyway, it's no big deal. We were expecting him to find someone to be on his side, I'm actually kind of surprised it's taken him so long."

"Considering he hasn't asked us, I'm guessing that he's worked out that we've deflected," Blaise commented, grinning. "Oh well. So. Aren't we here to plot?"

An evil grin slowly spread across Harry's face. "Why yes, Blaise, I do believe we are. Shall we begin?"

* * *

Lucius Malfoy had never really realised how very much he disliked his wife until she, along with Evan Rosier and that damn Phillip Parkinson, had locked him in a cell under his own Manor with Damon Nott.

Evan had originally wanted to kill them, but Narcissa had talked him out of it. Lucius had hoped that this was a sign that she actually cared about him, at least a little, but he soon discovered that she was just keeping them alive to fuel the Polyjuice Potion that Evan and Parkinson were drinking.

Damon had spent roughly half of the time they'd been locked up unconscious, having almost immediately fallen ill after they'd been knocked out and woken behind bars.

Despite that, he spent what time he was awake worrying about what Parkinson might be telling his daughter. Lucius hoped that he was fretting needlessly, but he knew Phillip Parkinson, and if the man had any hobbies, twisting people's minds was one of them. He could be telling the girl anything.

Narcissa had visited them only hours ago, bragging. They had captured Sirius Black and Samantha Snape, and had originally planned to torture them for information. Voldemort had had other ideas, and simply wanted them dead in order to break the morale of Dumbledore's side, especially Harry Potter.

Had they _not_ been behind bars, they would have helped Sirius and Samantha escape, discretion be damned. Unfortunately, there was nothing they could do about the situation but place their hopes on the one man who might be able to get Sirius and Sam out in time.

Lucius just hoped that Nathaniel Avery was up to the task.

* * *

Nate Avery was quite aware that he had a problem. He just hadn't been quite sure of its entire magnitude until he'd gotten the chance to sit down and think about it...and then he'd been interrupted by Narcissa dropping by for several minutes to tell her of Voldemort's plans for the prisoners.

The entire situation was, to say the least, immensely complicated. It was only natural that both Voldemort and Dumbledore's sides would have spies in each other's ranks, but the way things were now...in Nate's opinion, it was a little excessive.

But that wasn't the real problem, at least not at that exact moment. No, now that Narcissa had left him in peace, it was past time he did something about Sam and Sirius.

* * *

What had began as a plotting session had quickly degenerated. Seamus and Blaise, who hadn't been particularly interested in brewing any potions, were sitting by cauldrons that were simmering lightly (thanks to Harry) and were alternating between tossing vague ideas back and forth and trying to think of ideas for pranking Snape.

Harry and Draco were sitting across the room, surrounded by a still-expanding number of cauldrons in which they were brewing potions and also experimenting with different variations.

"It's probably a good thing that Severus hasn't shown up," Draco commented as he was trying to stir one potion and add chopped chives to another. "He'd kill us for having so many cauldrons between just the two of us."

"I think kill is an inaccurate word for what he'd do to us. Sounds too..."

"Extreme?" Seamus offered.

Harry eyed him. "No, I was going to say lenient, actually. Hold it!" he snapped at Draco.

The golden haired boy froze. "What?"

"Seamus, come stir this. Clockwise, slowly," he instructed as his dorm mate gingerly joined him by the relevant cauldron. "Thank you. "Blaise, stir that one for Draco."

"Counter-clockwise, fast," Draco clarified. "Now Harry, tell me, can I move?"

"Honestly? Not yet." Harry carefully made his way over to Draco and shifted several ingredients out of the way before removing a vial from the other boy's hand and gently pushing him towards the cleared space. "Sit."

Draco blinked. "Come again?"

Harry rolled his eyes and pointed to the bench. "Sit. Please."

Utterly confused, Draco did so. "All right, are you going to explain all this?"

"Sure." He passed the vial, cap replaced, back to Draco and knelt on the ground. "Two things. One, while watching the potion you were stirring, you grabbed the bottled Shrinking Solution instead of the liquefied unicorn horn - "

"How is it even possible to liquefy?" Seamus interrupted.

"Powdered and mixed with...something...before cooked over extreme heat," Blaise told him.

"Ah. Thanks."

"Which," Harry continued. "Had you put into the potion, would have blown us all up - "

"Not to mention the lab, which would really have annoyed Snape," Blaise commented.

"Two, you had the vial tilted, and the Solution was about to get all over this."

The other three leaned over to see what Harry was talking about, and found that he was twirling a piece of string above the head of a tiny ginger kitten.

"Which would have been bad, because then you could have trodden on the poor thing," he concluded.

Looking up, Harry grinned at them. "Anyone know who this little one belongs to?"

"She's up for adoption, actually," a voice informed them from the doorway.

The boys looked up to find Severus watching them with an unreadable expression.

Harry gulped. "Uh, hiya Sevvie." He received a glare. "Um, I didn't know you had a cat."

Severus rolled his eyes. "I don't. That is one of three kittens Sam's cat Pixie gave birth to eight weeks ago. I firmly believe that they are the spawn of that cat of Granger's."

"Crookshanks?" Harry said in surprise. He studied the kitten. "Well, I suppose she does bear a slight resemblance..."

Seamus raised an eyebrow. "Not really, Har."

Harry shrugged. "Well, Pixie is jet black, so if nothing else she's got her father's colouring. Her mother's build, though, by the looks of things." He looked up at Severus. "You said Pix had three?"

"A black male who looks far more like Crookshanks than Pixie, and a torteshell female." Severus gave him a hopeful look. "I don't suppose you want one? Any of you?"

"Draco, Blaise? Seamus already has one, you see," Harry said with a sweet smile at his roommate.

The two Slytherins exchanged glances before grinning, and Draco turned to his godfather. "We'd love to take a couple in."

Severus turned to Harry. "I refuse to be conned into keeping one. You don't have a choice, you're getting a kitten."

Harry grinned. "All right. Go get the other two and we'll see who clicks with who."

"I've a better idea. Come see for yourselves...but clean this mess up first. Oh, and Harry?"

"Yes Sevvie?"

"Two things. One, don't call me Sevvie."

"And two?"

Severus just looked at him.

Harry sighed. "Two, for gods sake stop experimenting with potions without supervision, especially using so many cauldrons between so few people?"

"Exactly."

* * *

Sirius, Sam and Evan (still disguised as Lucius) all jumped as the door to the cell flew open.

Before any of them had the chance to react, a voice shouted "Stupefy!" and Evan slumped to the ground. Sam dropped to check on him as Sirius spun to face their intruder.

"Avery?" he demanded of the blond man. "What the -"

"Shut up," Nate hissed. "We don't have much time. Now, are you going to come with me and get out of here, or are you going to stay and let yourselves be killed?"

Sam, having stood up, continued to stare at him in shock, but an expression of understanding had crossed Sirius's face. "You're the one Harry was telling me about, then?"

Nate raised a bemused eyebrow. "I don't see how you expect me to know what you and your godson discussed." He gestured to the open cell door. "Coming?"

"No," Sam declared. "I want a bloody explanation! I thought Evan was on our side? If you are too, why did you stun him?"

Glaring at the unconscious form of the other man in disgust, Nate shook his head. "It is a _very_ long story, Samantha. Suffice it to say, Evan is in fact loyal to Voldemort, and we need to get out of here before we get caught. They're planning to kill you, and soon."

Sirius moved towards the door, grabbing Sam's arm on the way past and dragging her with him. "I don't have time to explain why, Sammy, but he's on our side. We need to get going." He looked at his still-resisting friend. "Harry trusts him, and so do I. Are you coming?"

Sam sighed. "All right, but I expect a full storytelling session once we're safe."

Nate grinned and preceded them out the door. "Naturally, my dear. Just as long as we come out alive."

* * *

After discussing the conversation that had transpired between the sixth years at dinner, the Five had fallen into a contemplative silence. Finally, it was broken.

"I think we need a plan of attack," Natalie announced suddenly.

Emma looked up at her questioningly. "Attacking who?"

Natalie rolled her eyes affectionately. "I meant we need to do something about all this. And we need to decide what to tell Ron, Hermione, Dean and Lavender. Do we admit that Harry and Seamus are onto us, or do we keep quiet and hope Harry doesn't work out who hired us?"

"Plus we ought to think of some way to mislead Orla and Owen," Eleanor added. "Think they'd fall for being accidentally let in on some 'classified information'?"

Stewart and Malcolm exchanged an amused grin as the girls began to hash out a plan. Between the three of them they would come up with the basics, then the two of them would fine-tune the details.

* * *

Severus was convinced he was insane. He had to be, didn't he? He had, after all, just invited Harry, Seamus, Blaise and Draco into his quarters to meet, pick and probably name their future kittens.

Although, it was really only a question of Harry and Blaise choosing, as Draco had picked up the ginger female that had been in the lab and carried her here, and seemed to be quite attached to her.

Listening to Draco's occasional 'ow's, it seemed to be a mutual attachment.

"So, what are you going to call her?" Harry asked as he scratched the kitten under the chin. The four boys were waiting while Severus gave the password to the portrait that protected his quarters (and argued with it about the merits of inviting students in).

Draco looked down at the ball of ginger fluff that was currently purring loudly and flexing her claws. He winced. "Ow. I don't know. I'm really, really bad at naming things. Seamus's ca - ow! - cat kept hissing at my suggestions; I had to have Blaise think of something before he was satisfied..." He looked up and rolled his eyes at Seamus. "Although, with a name like Fluffy, I don't blame him."

Seamus sighed. "I'll have you know, Fluffy is very fond of his name."

"He's not, actually," Harry corrected with a wink at Draco and a pointed glare at Seamus. "Half the time he refuses to answer to it. But I'll admit that he's a picky bastard. You probably wont have any trouble with this one, she's a sweetie." As if to prove it, the kitten licked his finger. He smiled. "See?"

Having finally won the argument with his anal retentive guardian, Severus turned to the students. "You lot coming?"

They followed him inside. Blaise and Seamus, who had never been there before, were pleasantly surprised, while Harry and Draco watched them with amusement.

Completely contrary to popular student belief, Severus's quarters were NOT done in various shades of black with the occasional green accent. Largely due to Sam's influence in decorating tastes, the stone walls were adorned with velvet drapes, alternating colours between a warm burgundy and dark green (as close a concession to house colours as Sam would allow). The armchairs and couches were the same burgundy with green cushions, both velvet. Between them was a large, dark wooden chest, on which were (currently) several books on potions and one on caring for newborn kittens. The carpet was the same green as the drapes.

Seamus was the first of the two boys to regain the power of speech. "Wow, Professor. If I wasn't certain that you'd poison me in my sleep, I'd kick you out and live here myself."

Severus snorted. "I wouldn't poison you in your sleep, Finnigan. I'd do so during your evening meal."

Draco grabbed Blaise and Seamus and shoved them down onto one of the couches, before dropping onto the second across from them, placing his kitten carefully on his lap and stroking her.

Able to hear her purring from the doorway, Severus snorted again before sitting in the armchair closest to the fire. "Harry, I'm sure you can find - "

"Kittens!" Harry exclaimed excitedly, earning himself four raised eyebrows. He blushed faintly. "Er, oops? But I can't help it," he protested, looking down at the basket under the Blackwood desk where Pixie was lying with the other two kittens curled up against her.

The black cat raised her head, beginning to purr when she spotted Harry, who was kneeling by her basket. He reached out and scratched behind her ears. "Hey Pix, not to sound like I don't adore you, but I'm here to take a kitten..." He turned and grinned at Blaise, who had joined him on the floor. "Shall we wake them?"

Blaise smiled and reached into the basket. His hand emerged a moment later full of black kitten, which was staring up at the white haired Slytherin with blue eyes. Blaise eyed Harry.

Harry, however, didn't notice, as he was occupied with the calico kitten he'd extracted and was now rubbing the stomach of and earning himself a purr louder even than Draco's kitten had managed.

"Are we gonna fight, or are you happy?"

The Gryffindor laughed. "My kitten, Zabini. What are you going to call him? Are you any better than Draco at naming?"

Blaise looked at his kitten for barely a few seconds before declaring him, "Murphy. He looks like a Murphy."

With a laugh, Seamus nodded. "You're right, he does."

Harry opened his mouth, probably to comment or even name his own kitten, but suddenly shut it with an audible click of his teeth. His eyes were wide, and he was staring at his kitten with a far off expression. "Oh my god," he muttered finally. "Oh my god."

"What?" Draco demanded from the couch.

An incredibly evil grin spread across Harry's face. "I know what Plan B is going to be."

* * *

Harry, Draco, Seamus and Blaise had quickly bade farewell to Severus, grabbed their respective kittens, given Pixie a quick pat and raced back to the potions lab as fast as possible, before pulling chairs together and sitting down.

Seamus, the only one not encumbered by a small feline, also found a roll of parchment and Harry's self-inking quill before joining the others.

"Well?" Blaise demanded. "What have you got?"

Still grinning in a decidedly evil fashion, Harry gave his kitten a gentle hug before he spoke. "Well, I don't have the exact specifics, but that's what you guys are here for."

Blaise rolled his eyes. "Gee, I feel so loved." Seamus poked him.

"But what I do have, really ought to help. Seamus?"

"Harry?"

"Title: What will be needed for the implementation of Plan B."

Seamus began to write.

"We need one Shrieking Shack."

Draco began to grin.

"Two stubborn sixth year Gryffindor Prefects."

Blaise snickered.

"Something from Honeydukes that both Ron and Hermione like - I don't know what yet, but we'll get there."

Seamus sighed and spoke aloud as he amended Harry's somewhat rambling statement. "Treats from Honeydukes."

"One willing werewolf. I doubt one will be at all difficult to obtain."

"Knowing Remus, he'll probably jump at the chance," Seamus commented. "And after too much chocolate, that might just be literal jumping."

"Also needed will be four plotting students, and three plotting kittens."

Draco quirked an eyebrow. "I think we've got that covered."

"And finally, two sleeping potions...or spells. Whichever. The point is to have Ron and Hermione unconscious."

"So far, I'm really liking the sound of this plan," Blaise told him. "I'm taking a wild guess here, but...okay, so knock Ron and Hermione out, lock them in the Shrieking Shack next weekend, with the Honeydukes stuff...so why do we need Lupin?"

Harry shrugged. "Several reasons. One, he wants to be involved. Two, we might need his help. Three, he tends to hang about in Hogsmeade on weekends, so he wont be at all conspicuous..."

Blaise nodded. "All right, that makes sense. Now, by my reckoning, it's about time Snape got another pranking. Think Remus will mind if we plan something for class?"

"Not as long as Draco's taking pictures," Harry assured him. "Got any ideas?"

The Slytherin smirked. "Oh, maybe one or two. So, what was that green goo you were cooking up in two of those cauldrons?"

Harry tilted his head questioningly. "What, the jelly?"

Blaise nodded. "Yep. Draco, you remember that big glass box we were experimenting on in the summer?"

Beginning to grin, Draco nodded. "I think I see where this is going. I like it."

Snickering, Seamus nodded. "Oh, me too."

* * *

SAM & SIRIUS: We got _free_!

AVERY: Would a 'thank you' really hurt so very much?

SAM & SIRIUS: (Droning voice) Thank you, Nate.

AVERY: That's better.

VOLDEMORT: (Sulking)

TOM: Would you quit it? We still haven't found that ring yet.

VOLDEMORT: Why why why why WHY are people always _spying_ on me?

REMUS: (Slowly) Uh, because you're evil?

VOLDEMORT: (Sighs)

EVAN: If it helps, you realise this means that Parkinson, Narcissa and I are all loyal.

NARCISSA: And to be honest, you said yourself that you didn't think Lucius's heart was in it.

VOLDEMORT: Well, I suppose…

SALAZAR: Cheer up; you've still got your masses of minions!

TOM: Where the _hell_ have _you_ been?

SALAZAR: Here, there, everywhere…and while I was gone, I found this…(Holds out ring)

VOLDEMORT: Where did you find it!

TOM: Thanks Salazar! (Reaches for ring)

BELLATRIX: (Snatches ring) Oh no you don't! You lost it, so I'm confiscating it until the both of you show more responsibility.

VOLDEMORT: I command a very large amount of Death Eater troops, how more responsible do you want me to be?

BELLATRIX: Well, the day you command a large amount of Death Eaters without there being several spies for Dumbledore in your ranks would be a nice start.

VOLDEMORT: (Sighs) It's not _my_ fault…

SEVERUS: Sam?

SAM: Yes dear?

SEVERUS: Don't you 'yes dear' me! You went and got yourself captured and left me with _kittens_!

SAM: Think of it this way, you don't have them any more.

SEVERUS: Good point. On the other hand, I ended up with four students in our lounge room, Harry came up with a Plot, and I have a REALLY bad feeling about their next Potions lesson.

SAM: Well, true.

SIRIUS: I'm just disappointed that I wont be there to see whatever they do to you.

SYLVAN: Don't worry, Draco will probably take pictures.

REMUS: He'd better. Otherwise… (Menacing glare)

SAM: Can I just point something out, Sirius?

SIRIUS: Sure.

SAM: We're _free_!

SIRIUS: Whoo hoo!

VOLDEMORT: And I was so looking forward to having you killed, too.

EVAN: Maybe next chapter.

SIRIUS, SAM & AVERY: What?

NARCISSA: Oh, you didn't really think we wouldn't follow you if you escaped, did you?

SIRIUS & SAM: (Gulp)

AVERY: Oh dear. Mental note, make a _careful_ escape…

Oh yay, they're finally going to let me post. (Sighs).

James: Are we?

Sylvan: Because we really don't have to, you know.

James: He's right, we could keep you here all night.

Sylvan: But we won't.

James: Because _someone_ might pull the 'bats on us…or poke.

Sylvan: And we don't really want that, do we?

James: No, my dear, we do not.

Sylvan: So go ahead, post away.

(Sighs again) Oh how _incredibly _generous of you both. Oi….

Anyway, please review, despite the vampiric interruptions…

Heh.

SW


	23. Lime Green Jellified Potions Master

Well, this chapter was written sooner than I expected…

And you might all be interested to know that I've even started writing the next one.

Holidays…gotta love 'em. And I'll miss 'em when I have to go back to school on Tuesday…(sigh). Oh well.

Silver Sparklze – Very soon, in fact. And I adore cats myself (explains the three lounging about the house), and I just couldn't help but insert a few in there…

LoonyLoopyLisa – Alive I am! Ta, dear, and yes, soon!

the leviathan – Thank you!

mlovektowsing – Aw, thanks, thanks, and probably thanks again, though it gets a little repetitive…we need more words for thanks…

Semma – Glad you happy. Maybe they should get a name…the Quartet of Evil? Hm, probably not…

fifespice – Thank you, and I cant tell about the kitten yet…see, I have three or four names I like and I'm still choosing…Yep, Rosier's a double spy, and the other three are good guys.

NephyRiddle – Thanks heaps!

saFire flamE – Thanks, and don't worry, I refuse on general principle to put a story on hiatus or to discontinue it (well, most stories anyway) and I'm enjoying the writing of this one too much. It _will_ be completed! Though I don't know when…

mercyangel – Wow, I'm glad I brightened your day! And I'm sure the boys will get around to it…soon.

eaglelinda – Thanks! Its good to know I'm writing something at least somewhat unique…

B Madden – Don't worry, the next prank is right here and so soon I'm impressed with my self!

Shinigami – Harry, oh Harry has an Evil plan in mind, as usual. You're right, Snape-Batman would be hilarious, and I think I will use it sooner or later, so thanks for the idea!

Charming Marauders – Oh I understand about choosing between revision and fanfic, its not a hard choice…though occasionally not a good one. :) Glad you like it and have been converted to Harry/Draco.

Shakespeares Whore – (Happy grin) I love the silliness. Thanks heaps, and I'll get to explaining the Snape and Harry thing…one of these days, anyway.

cRazy-GIrl-3000 – (Sticks tongue out) Thanks, I think. ;) (Checks hair just in case) No, no evil sticky yellow coco pops…would they be vanilla or banana, do you think? Well, possibly related, as in, both food…hm…can I use the evil sticky yellow coco pops of doom in a later chapter? I'm having an idea…

Fire-Hawk-1986 – Well, to start with, thanks. For another, yes I would _love _a copy of the pic, so I'm going to email you about it (I'm gonna assume it's the one on your profile, cos it didn't come up in the review, which is a bit of a pain, but oh well)

enchantress of the dark – Draco will find out about Felix eventually, don't worry!

centra and insano-girl – oh I know, about the whole two Animagus forms thing, but I couldn't pick which one to use for Harry and at the time it seemed like a good idea…(shrug) oh well. As for the toy, well, I guess Draco has never had a cat before. I don't know about paper bags, but my cats –Kitty and Thumper, named by my brother at five and my dad cos as a kitten he was getting so big- also like boxes. Leo, however, likes the table…

Thanks again to you all!

* * *

Harry, Seamus, And The Master Plan

By SilverWolf7007

Chapter Twenty-Three – Lime Green Jellified Potions Master

After working out the details of their plans for Severus the next morning, Harry and Seamus had wished Draco, Blaise, Murphy and Draco's still-unnamed kitten goodnight before separating from them and heading to the Gryffindor Common Room.

"Have you picked a name for her, Har?" Seamus asked.

Harry laughed. "No, and it's not likely that I will anytime soon."

He received a rather confused look. "Why not?"

"Took me three days to find a name for Hedwig, and that was when I had all these new interesting sounding names to choose from."

Seamus blinked. "You've _still_ got a whole heap of interesting new names to choose from, you've just got a little more used to them."

"Yeah, but..." Harry shrugged. "Some people get pets that have names, some give them completely random names that they just like the sound of at the time...but I want her name to actually _mean_ something."

"That's...sweet, although kind of random."

"Random is one of my specialities."

Seamus snorted. "Yes, I've noticed."

* * *

Hermione, Ron, Parvati, Neville, Lavender and Dean had returned from the library by the time Harry and Seamus got back, and were sitting in the area by the fire that had by default become 'theirs' due to the sixth years' frequent use of it.

Eyeing his roommates almost nervously, Harry followed Seamus over, both of them dropping onto the floor in front of the fire. "Uh, guys?"

The three exchanged glances before Dean spoke up. "Harry, whatever it is, just say it."

"Um, none of you are allergic to cats, are you?"

Six pairs of eyes blinked, while Seamus rolled his eyes.

"I'm not," Neville said finally. "Why?"

Sheepishly, Harry pulled his kitten from where she'd burrowed under his robes. "Long story short, I adopted a kitten."

Simultaneously, five out of six students melted.

Ron, on the other hand, eyed the kitten for a minute before stating, "It's not, uh, related to Crookshanks, is it?"

"Not in the slightest," Harry told him with a perfectly straight face. Seamus flopped backwards so he was lying on the floor, but he didn't comment.

Sighing in relief, Ron reached out and stroked the kitten softly. "Oh good. Because, well, it's cute and all, Harry, but I'm not sure I could sleep in the same dorm as the spawn of Crookshanks."

Hermione glared at him for a minute, but rolled her eyes affectionately as the aforementioned Crookshanks trotted happily over to them and deposited a dead spider in Ron's lap.

Ron groaned and flicked the thing off him. "Ew." He turned to the cat. "Look, Crookshanks, this has got to stop."

Holding back an urge to grin, Harry reached over and grabbed his kitten from where she'd wandered over to examine the arachnid. "He just wants you to like him, Ron. He's giving you a present."

"That's not a present," Ron said darkly. "He's menacing me."

Harry was fairly certain that Ron's continuing inability to at least tolerate Crookshanks would _not_ be conductive to the success of Plan B, and mentally vowed to give his friend a lecture about it...possibly tomorrow. "Whatever. So, no one's allergic to my little one, which means I can take her, transfigure some kind of litter tray, and go to bed. Am I right?"

Receiving several nods, Harry stood up. "Oh, and before I forget..." He pulled out his wand, flicked it at first Hermione, then Lavender, and raced up the stairs, calling "Goodnight!" over his shoulder as he went. Seconds later, just before they heard the door close, they heard what could only be referred to as an evil laugh.

"Lavender," Hermione said evenly. "I don't suppose you have a mirror on you?"

Just as calmly, Lavender pulled a mirror out of her bag and handed it to Hermione, both of them ignoring the snickers emitting from Parvati and the boys.

Hermione sighed. "Well, I suppose it could be worse," she stated.

"Oh? How?" asked a still snickering Parvati.

"Well, for one, it could have been orange," she said, pointedly eyeing Parvati's own hair.

Lavender took the mirror and examined her own hair. Unable to help it, she giggled. "Well, I must say Harry certainly has a sense of humour..." She noticed how the lavender strands complemented her blue eyes. "And, oddly enough, a sense of colour coordination." She looked at Hermione. "And that dark green really brings out _your_ eyes, Hermione."

Parvati nodded. "She's right. I thought they were brown, but they're almost hazel, now the green is there bringing it out."

"Collection complete, I believe," Seamus said calmly. Then he frowned. "Unless Harry wants to get Remus as well..."

* * *

The strange part of Draco and Blaise's day began the moment they stepped into the Common Room.

"Oh my god, you turned Harry and Seamus into kittens!"

An utterly confused Draco gave Jason the stare he reserved for crazy people and Trelawney (it was a thin line between the two). "What the hell are you on about?"

Seeming almost panicked, Jason gestured to the kittens the two boys were holding. "Am I right? Is that Harry and Seamus?"

Though Draco was still eyeing Jason, Blaise looked down at the kitten in his arms. "No, I'd have to say this is _not_ Seamus or Harry. Although, his colouring is right for Harry..." Seeing Jason's panic increase, Blaise sighed. "No Jason, we did not turn Harry or Seamus into kittens."

"I don't even want to know where you get these weird ideas of yours, do I?" Draco asked him, shaking his head in amazement.

Jason shrugged, much calmer now. "Probably not, no. So, they got names?"

"Mine doesn't, yet," Draco told him. "Though I've got a few ideas."

"Blaise?"

The white haired boy grinned. "Murphy, this is Jason. Unfortunately, he lives in the same dorm we do. Fortunately, he doesn't snore...much."

"Hey!" Jason protested. "Draco, Blaise is being _mean_!"

Draco sighed. "Not much I can do to help, Jase. Besides, he's right. You do snore a bit."

Jason just glared.

Seeing a flash of red in the corner, Draco dodged just in time. Maddy's spell missed him by millimetres and accidentally hit fifth year Penelope Parkinson. Pen, who knew the spell Maddy had used and had heard the younger girl use it, managed to grab her jeans before they fell very far down her thighs and quickly pulled them back up.

She turned to the corner a suddenly apologetic looking Maddy was occupying. "Madeleine," Pen growled warningly.

"Pen, I'm _really_ sorry," Maddy assured her. "I was trying to get Draco back - "

The older girl bit back a grin. "Yes, well, that's understandable, I suppose, but still..."

"But still?" Maddy asked nervously.

Pen gave her a sweet smile. "But still I expect you to come with me right now so we can discuss some things."

Not sure whether to be relieved or worried, Maddy followed Pen up to the fifth year girls dorms.

Draco sighed. "I think this is bad."

Jason raised an eyebrow. "How so?"

"Pen's been planning to get back at me for _weeks_ about that whole tap-dancing in a tutu in the middle of the Common Room thing; she's probably up there teaching Maddy the finer points of humiliation of teenage boys."

Unable to see a bright side, Blaise just patted his friend on the shoulder with his free hand.

* * *

The first sound on a Monday morning in the Gryffindor sixth year boys' dorm had become quite predictable over the past several months. It was usually a groan of protest as some unfortunate teen (usually Seamus, as he was the only one who tended to leave the curtains around his bed open) was struck by the rays of the early morning sun.

This particular morning, however, was an exception to that rule.

Harry was the first to wake, as his kitten had taken it upon herself to lick his nose quite thoroughly until he stopped half-heartedly swatting her in his sleep and woke up. Silently, without even thinking about anything, he stroked the little furball that was sitting on his chest until she settled down and fell asleep, purring.

Sighing happily, Harry closed his eyes and prepared to go back to sleep.

Suddenly, his eyes snapped open and he gasped. His eyes were immediately drawn to the kitten, but she wasn't what had re-awoken him.

Recalling what had, he began to smirk.

Lifting his left arm, he glanced at his watch, took in the time, blinked, read it again and sighed. "Damn," he stated decisively. "And here was me thinking I didn't have long at all."

Annoyed that he'd been woken so early, but unable to summon enough energy to care, he closed his eyes again.

He found that he could hear a strange humming sound. He pried his eyes open again, pulled his curtains back slightly and looked around.

Neville was sitting up on his bed, reading a thick tome on Herbology (one that Harry had bought him for his birthday), and humming while he was doing so.

Harry closed his eyes and tried to ignore him.

Five minutes later, without opening them he grabbed his second pillow from beside him and threw it with unnerving accuracy at his friend, who let out an "Eeep!" and pulled the pillow away from his face. "What was that for?"

Harry still didn't open his eyes as he replied. "You are _humming_, Neville. You will _stop_ it, Neville. It's five o'clock in the frickin' _morning_, Neville. I'm going back to _sleep_, Neville."

"Um, sorry Har."

"You will be."

Harry went back to sleep.

* * *

Two and a half hours later, Harry regretted not pulling his curtains shut again. "I hate mornings," he muttered, shoving his pillow over his head in protest against the sunlight. "I think they should be banned."

"Monday's, at least," Ron agreed, rolling over to face the wall and pulling the covers over his head.

For the sake of their schooling, it was probably a good thing that Neville was a morning person.

For the sake of Neville, it probably wasn't.

Thankfully, on that particular morning Neville had an accomplice in rousing his usual most difficult charge.

"Mrph," a voice muttered from under a pillow. "No. Bad kitty. No pancakes."

The kitten continued nibbling his fingers.

"Evil kitty," Harry mumbled. "Silly little critter. Spawn of evil."

"So it is Crookshanks' kitten, then?" asked a slightly more awake Ron.

Seamus, who was slightly less anti-morning than Ron and Dean, snorted. "Well, yes, Ronnie, you didn't figure that out yet?"

Ron glared, but as he was currently pulling on his trousers, it didn't quite have the menacing effect he intended.

A muffled evil laugh emitting from under a certain pillow suddenly drew their attention, and Harry threw the pillow off, 'accidentally' smacking Neville in the head with it.

Neville sighed. "Again, Harry?"

Harry glared for a moment. "Well, you WERE keeping me awake, Nev. What did you expect?"

"Evisceration," Neville told him.

Blinking, Harry shook his head. "What, that early?" Dismissing the subject, Harry began to smirk.

Seeing it, Seamus couldn't contain his own any longer. "Awake at last, then, Har?"

Jumping out of bed, Harry nodded. The others immediately noticed that he was fully clothed, shoes and all, which temporarily floored them.

"Har?" Ron ventured. "Why are you dressed?"

Neville frowned. "I _thought_ I heard someone leave at about six..."

Harry nodded. "I got back half an hour ago. I had to, uh...do something..."

Snickering, Seamus began lacing his shoes. "Now boys, don't go questioning Harry. You'll all find out what he was up to later on."

"It must be something good," Ron stated.

"What makes you say that?" Harry asked him curiously.

Ron smirked. "Well, it has to be to get _you_ out of bed before seven!"

* * *

By the time breakfast was over and the sixth year Gryffindors and Slytherins were heading to Potions, Hermione, Lavender and Millicent Bulstrode were half worried, half curious as to what was going on.

Barring Harry, Seamus, Draco and Blaise, everyone else was just plain curious.

The four of them were just smirking knowingly, Harry and, oddly enough, Blaise occasionally unable to suppress an evil laugh. Draco was allowing his evil snicker free reign, as it unnerved most of the Gryffindors.

For quite possibly the first time in their school career, the sixth years were looking forward to Potions.

The first thing anyone really was able to take notice of and process by the time the class was assembled just inside the door to the Potions classroom was that the room was glowing green. This would later prove to be a result of a strategically placed magical light, but at the present time it just lent a surrealistic quality to the situation.

The furniture had been rearranged. The benches and stools had all been pushed against the walls, as had Snape's.

The most obvious part of the redecorating was the large glass box standing at the front of the classroom. It was about a metre square and two and a half metres high...and it was filled to the brim with very clear, very lime green jelly.

However, once the students had taken all this in, they were able to being to notice the reason that their classroom had gained a new piece of décor.

Professor Severus Snape was inside this glass box. He was wearing nothing more than bright orange flippers on his feet, an equally orange snorkel that was allowing him to see and breathe, and what he had apparently gone to bed in…his black boxers.

As the students watched (and were glared at through the snorkel, causing a certain four students to snort in amusement), Severus attempted to reach the top of the box and pull himself out, kicking his flippered feet to aid himself.

His hands almost managed to grip onto the glass...but at the last moment, the jelly got the better of him and he slid downwards again.

This was, apparently, the last straw for his class, who had, by this time, been keeping from cracking by a very faint attachment to their initial reactions of fascinated horror.

Draco, one of the four barely keeping relatively straight faces, whipped out his camera to add to the photos he had taken earlier, including a few of the students.

Severus, seeing the four of them smirking at him (green-tinted though they were), pointed accusingly and gave them all a very menacing glare...

Well, it would have been menacing if he hadn't been in a glass box of green jelly in his underwear.

* * *

Remus had woken that morning and found that someone had pinned a note to his pillow.

It read as follows:

"Dear Remykins,

Just thought you'd appreciate the heads up.

There will be A Wonderful Entertainment down in Sevvie's Potions classroom. Don't bother with the first years you have this morning, come down here instead! They'll get over it, especially once you show them the pictures...

Refreshments on site. Hope you like jelly."

Having read the note, Remus knew that the writer of it was insane for three reasons.

Reason One: He had called Remus 'Remykins' and Severus 'Sevvie'.

Reason Two: He had pinned the note to his pillow and left a small plastic bag of what he had determined to be lime jelly (he had determined this by two very scientific procedures - sniff, then taste).

Reason Three: The letter had to have come from someone who had his password, was currently both at the school and involved in the prank war, and who dared to call Severus 'Sevvie'.

By the above reasoning, Remus deduced that the note was from Harry, who was, of course, insane.

Being that he was a reasonably sensible man (when not experiencing a sugar high), Remus knew that he probably shouldn't abandon his first year class without a teacher.

So of course, he dashed to the staffroom to find someone with a free morning.

Thankfully, Flitwick was free, and also willing, to take Remus's class and didn't mind that the younger man didn't provide an explanation past; "Really need someone to watch my class, I can't do it I'm afraid, something's come up, terribly sorry."

As such, Remus hurried down to the dungeons.

* * *

As confused as she was about the entire still not explained spy situation, Sam still had enough wits about her to convince Sirius and Nate to Apparate into the designated Apparition area on Hogwarts grounds as soon as they were clear of the wards around their former prison.

The area was chosen because it was a clearing just inside the Forbidden Forest right beside a very large tree that concealed the entrance to a tunnel into Hogwarts.

The tunnel required a password and had some kind of recognition spell that Dumbledore had devised, and it led straight into a disused classroom in the dungeons. The classroom had been chosen (by herself and Severus after a large amount of searching for a suitable one) because it was large, had no furniture, and had a fireplace that Dumbledore had had connected to the Floo network.

Once they arrived in the room, Sam whirled on Nate and Sirius. "Do I get my explanation yet?" she demanded.

Nate chuckled. "Not just yet, my dear. I suggest we get out of this classroom, for one."

Reluctantly, Sam nodded her agreement. "Come on, we can go to my quarters."

Between the quarters she shared with her husband was his classroom, and as she led the two men along the hall she hoped to sneak a quick peek inside it.

However, before they reached the classroom, they reached Remus, who was running down from the direction of the Entrance Hall.

He skidded to a halt and stared. He blinked. Then, without a word or a glance at Sam and Nate, he launched himself at Sirius and began kissing him senseless.

Sam thought this was perfectly understandable, but nevertheless had no desire to watch. She glanced at Nate, who seemed to share her view...but not her tact.

He looked at his watch, tapped his foot and cleared his throat loudly.

"It won't work," Sam told him.

"Why not?"

She raised an eyebrow.

Nate glanced at the two of them and sighed. "No, I don't suppose it will."

Remus finally pulled back from Sirius and hugged his sister. "Hey Sammy. Good to see you."

"You too, Remy. Now, why were you rushing headlong down here before you saw us?" she asked him, curiosity showing through.

Her brother looked utterly lost for a moment before remembering. "Oh! I got a note."

Three pairs of blinking eyes expressed their lack of comprehension.

"From Harry. I think they've done something to Severus."

Sam immediately looked worried. "Who? What? Why?"

"Harry and his accomplices, a prank, because Severus started a prank war."

Groaning, Sam buried her head in her hands. "Oh why oh why oh why..." She looked up, determined. "All right, let's get it over with. We'll go, you and Siri can laugh - "

"And probably me," Nate pointed out.

Sam ignored him. "And then I can rescue him from whatever has befallen him at the hands of my insane genius godson."

Sirius shrugged. "Well, most of the plan sounds good. Shall we?"

* * *

Harry was the first of anyone to calm down, and he happily perched on Severus's desk and peered in at the man. Severus glared. Harry gave him a little wave.

Severus lifted his hands and gave a very good impression of strangling someone. Harry poked his tongue out at him.

Seamus and Draco were currently alternating who got to 'play' with the camera. Blaise joined Harry on Severus's desk and gave his head of house a jaunty wave. Severus just scowled.

"How long do you reckon they'll be able to keep that up?" Blaise asked, gesturing to the still laughing students, most of whom were now collapsed on the floor in their hysteria.

Harry just shrugged. "I have no idea. I don't have much experience with mad laughter that's the result of a jellified Potions Master."

Both boys jumped as the door was pushed open. Remus stepped in and Harry grinned at him.

Remus just smiled back, before catching sight of the glass box and his current war opponent. His jaw dropped as he moved further into the room and got a closer look. "Harry," he breathed. "This is..."

Sirius, Sam and Nate Avery entered the room.

Harry's jaw joined Remus's on the floor in shock. He closed it with a snap, slid off the desk and stalked over to his godparents and the man with them.

Nate lifted an eyebrow. "Hello Harry."

"Nate," Harry greeted with a warm smile. "What do you think of our handiwork?"

The blond man admired the view. "Genius," he declared. "What do you think of mine?"

Harry looked over Sam and Sirius critically. "They seem to be in one piece. Good job."

"Thank you," he replied, rolling his eyes.

Grinning, Harry turned to the other two. "Sam, Siri, good to see you two."

They both managed to pry their eyes off Severus for long enough to trap him in a hug between them. Harry hugged back.

"Great to see you too, Har, but..." Sam trailed off and sent a pained look at her husband. "Did you _really_ have to imprison Sev in jelly?"

Harry seemed to consider the question for a moment. "You know what, Sammy?"

"What?"

"I think I did."

She sighed in frustration and walked over to the box, dodging hysterical teens on the way.

Sirius looked at Harry steadily. "Harry."

"Siri?"

"There is something very important I have to tell you."

"Oh?" Harry inquired with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes," Sirius replied gravely. He looked up at Severus for a few minutes. "Harry," he said quietly. "I need you to know that I'm very disappointed that there isn't any way I can get you the Order of Merlin, First Class for what you have done to Severus Snape on this happy, happy day."

Harry snorted.

* * *

SEVERUS: (Glowering at world in general)

VOLDEMORT: (Sulking again) I don't see why you useless bloody minions couldn't have caught the buggers.

AVERY: It's because I'm so sneaky.

SAM & SIRIUS: Ahem.

AVERY: Oh yes, and so are Sam and Sirius…well, somewhat sneaky.

SAM: (Rolls eyes) Prat.

AVERY: Why thank you!

NARCISSA: (Sighs) Voldemort has a point, useless minions.

USELESS MINIONS: (Gulp)

NARCISSA: Mwahahaha!

LUCIUS: Uh, Narcissa…

NARCISSA: (Sweetly) Yes dear?

LUCIUS: (Nervous) Uh, never mind.

NARCISSA: (Shrugs)

SEVERUS: (Still glowering at world in general)

SIRIUS: Aw, lighten up Sevvie!

SEVERUS: (Growls)

REMUS: Siri has a point, old boy. You really need to get over this whole jelly thing.

SEVERUS: I despise you.

REMUS: I'm hurt, really. Besides, it wasn't _my_ idea, and _I _wasn't the one who stuck you in there.

SEVERUS: Oh, I'm quite aware of that. I despise everyone else involved as well. And Black, just on general principle.

SIRIUS: I'd be offended if I actually cared…

SAM: Oh for gods sake, will you both quit picking on Sev already!

SIRIUS & REMUS: (Exchange glances, turn to Sam) Nope, never, not a chance.

SAM: (Sighs)

TOM: (Snickering) Now come on, Voldie boy, you can't say that seeing Severus in a jelly jar didn't make up for Sam, Sirius and Avery getting away so easily?

VOLDEMORT: (Evil Laugh) Well yes, in fact. I'm even going to delay killing that Potter brat because of it…

HARRY: Really?

VOLDEMORT: No.

HARRY: Somehow, I didn't think so…

Off you go, kiddies, shoo, let me post.

James: Must we?

Yes, you must.

Sylvan: But why?

Because if you don't, I'm going to confiscate the entire contents of your wardrobes…

James: Even…?

(Evil smirk)

Sylvan: You wouldn't!

Wouldn't I?

James: (Gulps) Not my leather jacket…

Sylvan: Nor mine…

James & Sylvan: We'll be good! (Run and stand protectively in front of wardrobe)

Well, that worked.

Please review!

SW


	24. The Spy Explanation And Children’s Songs

I kinda feel like an idiot. The whole jelly thing was my friend Alaina's idea (well, the majority of it), and I meant to put that in the last chapter. Oops. Sorry Alaina…So yes, we're all thanking Alaina now for giving me the idea…

Semma – Glad you like the chapter, and I don't think I'll ever see lime jelly the same way either…And hey, if you can get a pic done of course I don't mind, I just hope you'd send me a copy.

LoonyLoopyLisa – Heh, I know the feeling, thankfully my mum is perfectly aware that I'm nuts…and it is _kinda _a quick update…quicker than it has been, anyway!

Charming Marauders – Thanks, and yes, exams are very evil…our midyears are in (checks and dies of horror) Oh god, about three or four weeks…Glad you enjoyed the chapter.

cRazy-GIrl-3000 – Wow, I really am glad you liked this chapter…I still feel guilty about Alaina's idea though…thankfully, after she wrote the idea down I became determined to get the damn thing into a chapter and post it…so I did. But neither of us can remember how she came up with it. As for the Evil Sticky Yellow Coco Pops of Doom (glad you think the name is apt), well, the taste doesn't matter anyway, and thanks, cos I have a Plan for them now…

Shakespeares Whore – tee hee, glad you enjoyed…

fifespice – Oh yeah, Snape is going to _get _them…next chapter…

Draeconin – Meh, I can understand how all this can be annoying, but I like doing it anyway…sorry…but I'm glad you like the story!

Shinigami – Hee hee hee, I had so much fun putting Sevvie in there. But I didn't even notice I'd put him in Halloween colours…Yep, Siri will join Remy, and Sam, once she's over what Harry has done to Severus, will probably join her husband against them. I went into the explanation of the spies this chapter, which will hopefully clear things up. If not, complain and I'll try again (grin). As for my muses…I don't even bother to try and count them anymore…

Silver Sparklze – Oh, if only it were me who deserved the medal…I still have the little piece of paper with the idea on it…

NephyRiddle – Heh, glad you liked it so much…though I hope you were able to get off the floor before anyone trod on you…

mercyangel – Glad you started the day well. As for the quick update…what can I say, I was inspired!

B Madden – Oh don't worry, Sevvie and his accomplices wont let them get off lightly!

mlovektowsing – heh, good idea, everyone bow down to Alaina…

Curious Shadow – Thank you, and I will. I just hope that laughter induced death is temporary as well as repeatable.

eaglelinda – It's a good question, where did the idea come from? Sevvie's revenge should be good…

Lady-Crymsyn – (Bows) Why thank you. I think the plot is buried faaaar under the randomness…lost it somewhere back in chapter, oh, two? Glad you like it!

Dark-One Shadowphyre – Enjoy the jellied Potions Master…though I cant really see the toast connection. Heh.

musicgirl141 – Glad you liked.

Sweet-single – Thanks, and yay, you like the kitty…she's getting named in this chapter.

maleficus-lupus – Glad you enjoyed…

Zabini Angel – I can picture it too…hee hee hee. The slash ought to come in…soon…really soon, I hope.

stepht – Thanks

Yashaness – Glad you enjoyed it, and the next chapter…well, you've joined up just in time for a quick update.

Does anyone know a synonym for 'glad'? I'm getting RSI…well, I _am _glad…oh well.

Chapter dedicated to Alaina in apology…heh heh…sorry dear, don't bring out the poking finger at me.

* * *

Harry, Seamus, And The Master Plan

By SilverWolf7007

Chapter Twenty-Four – The Spy Explanation And Children's Songs…

It took Sam ten minutes to extract her husband from his wobbly prison. During that time, Sirius and Nate followed Remus up to his office, and the students _finally_ began to calm down.

Standing at the front of his classroom next to the glass box, wearing nothing but his boxers and a pair of flippers, snorkel in hand and dripping jelly, Severus gave Sam a pleading look.

She turned and faced the still-snickering mob of teenagers. "All right you lot, get out." Her eyes locked onto Harry, Blaise, Seamus and Draco, who were looking exceptionally smug. "Except you four."

Once most of the students were gone and the four boys were sitting on Severus's desk, Sam sighed. "Looks like I've missed a lot while I've been gone," she said wryly. "Sev, why don't you head down the hall and get cleaned up?"

He looked somewhat panicked. "Walk down the hall in my _underwear_?"

"Well Sevvie, you have been indecently exposing yourself to the students since class began, I don't really see how much of a difference it could make," Harry pointed out with a bright grin.

Severus's eyes narrowed. "You know, since you're involved in this prank war I can actually choose to prank _you_ next instead of Remus."

Draco's eyes widened. "Does, uh, that go for all of us?"

Slowly, Severus looked over the four students before turning and considering the box of jelly. "Indubitably, my dear boy."

The boys exchanged glances before sliding off the desk as one.

"Sorry to laugh hysterically, take photos and run," Harry said quickly. "But we really need to hide so Sevvie can't prank us anytime soon? Okay? See ya!" With that, he darted out the door, his partners-in-crime on his heels.

Severus turned to his wife. "I don't suppose you'd summon me a cloak so I can be somewhat decently attired when I return to our rooms?"

She smiled at him and did so. "Of course. I'll come with you, then we'll head up to Remus's office."

He raised an eyebrow. "Why are we headed up there?"

"For the explanation of what the hell is going on in the Death Eater ranks and _who_ are the bloody spies that Avery owes me."

"Very well then."

* * *

"Oh, this is bad, this is very, very bad," Seamus moaned as the four boys hurried out of the dungeons. "We're going to _die_, I know it."

Draco smacked him across the back of the head. "Calm down already! We're not going to die. Harry has a plan...don't you?" he added hopefully, turning to look at the Gryffindor.

Glancing at him, Harry shrugged. "Sure. Or I will, at any rate. Come up to the Common Room with us before we have to head down to Transfiguration."

Blaise blinked. "Uh, why?"

Harry smirked. "Well for one, it'll confuse Hermione and Ron, which is always fun. Not to mention the others. Also, I heard Hermione inviting the other Slytherins to do the same, though I don't think they all accepted. So it's not like you'll be the odd ones out."

"No, we'll just be the ones getting interrogated."

"That goes for all four of us, not just you and Blaise," Seamus pointed out. "I mean, Ron said it this morning. Not much can get Harry out of bed before seven in the morning."

Blaise sighed. "You know what? Seamus had a point. We _are_ all going to die...slowly and in our sleep, after eating something that tasted suspiciously like it was supposed to."

Seamus and Draco both looked confused, and seeing that Harry didn't they looked to him for an explanation.

He grinned. "Well, Severus is a Potions Master. He's not going to use a deadly poison that makes our food taste any different than normal, he certainly knows of one or a thousand that have no taste at all. Blaise was just pointing that out."

Blaise nodded.

Draco sighed. "It worries me that you two think so alike..."

"Why?" Harry asked in confusion.

"Because," the Slytherin replied. "Left on your own you both come up with insanely wonderful ideas...I almost dread to think what you can think up together."

Seamus snickered. "Of course, as long as they're not plotting against _us_, it should be fine."

"Very true," Draco allowed with a smirk. "It's a good thing they're with us."

"Darn tootin'," Harry stated.

The other three eyed him.

"What?"

"Nothing," Seamus and Blaise replied.

"We think you're nuts," Draco told him.

Harry grinned. "Well, that's probably a good thing."

"Why?" Blaise asked.

"Because he is," Draco informed them with a smirk.

"Ah, that explains it all then," Seamus said wisely.

"So Draco, have you named your kitten yet?"

Draco blinked for a moment before replying. "No, not yet. Why?"

Harry shrugged. "I was just thinking. Neither have I."

"Random is Harry's forte," Seamus explained to the Slytherins, who both looked a little thrown by the rapid subject change.

"Comes with being nuts, I expect," Blaise said, eyeing Draco with a faint smirk. Seamus laughed.

* * *

Severus Snape was officially having a Bad Day, starting from when he'd awoken in a glass box of lime jelly, just in time to see four shadowy figures, each with either pink, silver, white or gold hair, sneaking out of his classroom. He was fairly sure he had heard them laughing evilly on the way down the halls.

It had taken him a while to comprehend his situation, but once he realised that there was a chance he could just pull himself out, he had tried to do so unrelentingly.

At least, he had until he realised that it was nearly impossible, that he was quite tired, that he had jelly in his boxers and that the sudden burst of loud laughter had emitted from the sixth year class he was currently supposed to have been teaching.

He had never been more relieved to lay eyes on his wife, not just so she could rescue him, but to see her safe. But the rescuing bit was a large part of it.

However, even when he was stepping into his bathroom and shedding robe and boxers (flippers and snorkel having been left in the classroom) he still was fairly sure that he would leave Harry and his friends alive.

He stepped into the shower and turned the tap.

Immediately, he was covered head to toe in lime green water, that he was quite certain was dye.

Sighing, Severus turned the tap off, removed the spell, and turned it back on.

It took him a moment to process what had just happened to him.

He took in the green skin (though not hair, which he thought was unusual), the globs of jelly...

His hair.

Severus twisted the tap back off and stepped out of the shower, looking into the mirror.

His hair, currently hundreds of tiny electric blue snakes, stared back.

He could have almost taken that as well.

The snakes began to sing.

"Twinkle, twinkle, little star..."

"_POTTER!_"

* * *

Harry glanced at his watch. "He ought to be back at his rooms by now."

"We're going to die," Seamus repeated.

"Yes, we probably are," Draco agreed.

Blaise looked at Harry. "Think he's found the shower yet?"

"Undoubtedly so." The Gryffindor looked up at his companions. "He's going to get us back, and get us good, but for gods sake will you two stop proclaiming our deaths! You sound like bloody Trelawney!"

"The shower was a stroke of genius, Harry," Seamus said in an admiring tone.

Harry snickered. "Thank you. But..." He glanced at Draco with respect in his eyes. "I personally can't wait until he goes to bed."

The blond smirked. "Neither can I."

* * *

Sam, waiting for Severus to leave the bathroom so they could head up to Remus's office, was confused when she heard the shower start, stop, start and stop again.

A few minutes later, however, it was all explained.

"_POTTER!_"

Burying her head in her hands, Sam gave a mournful sigh. "Oh Harry, couldn't you have left it at the jelly?"

Several minutes passed, in which the shower was turned back on, left on, and then turned off. Not long after that, Severus emerged.

Sam stared. Her lips twitched.

He glowered at her. "It's _not_ funny."

She took in the green skin, snake-hair, and his deep purple robes. "The robes, Sev?" she asked, keeping her laughter under control.

He shrugged. "They're not too bad, I suppose. I can deal with them. The problem, Sam, is that these are the tamest coloured robes I now own."

"Oh dear."

* * *

"Twinkle, twinkle, little star, how I wonder what you are…"

Three pairs of eyes snapped immediately to the doorway of Remus's office. They stared.

They took in the skin. The robes. The hair...

"Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb..."

They blinked.

Sirius slowly began to grin, snicker, and slide off his chair. As he hit the floor with a thud, his snickers graduated to full out hysterical laughter.

Severus scowled at him while Sam and Nate tried to keep straight faces.

Remus was still staring. "You know, Sev," he began slowly. "I didn't want to say anything until I was sure, but I am now. You've been out-evilled by four teenagers..." He smirked. "Oh, and lime green really _is_ your colour."

"This is the song that never ends..."

Severus let out a strangled scream as Remus and Nate followed Sirius to the floor.

Sam just dropped into Sirius's vacated chair with a sigh.

* * *

Ron, Hermione, Parvati, Lavender, Dean, Neville, Millicent, Pansy and Jason were sitting by the Common Room fire in Gryffindor Tower when Harry, Draco, Seamus and Blaise arrived. And every one of them was wearing their personal versions of evil grins (or smirks in the cases of some).

Harry exchanged glances with his three companions before joining his classmates, dropping onto the floor. Seamus and Blaise fought briefly over an armchair, eventually settling for each of them sitting on an arm with their feet on the seat. Draco just sat down next to Harry.

Before they were verbally ambushed by the others, Harry was physically jumped on by his tiny kitten. He pushed her over gently and rubbed her stomach, gaining a loud purr. Crookshanks raised his head curiously to look at the kitten from his perch between Hermione and the reluctant Ron.

"Named her yet?" Draco asked, reaching over to pet the kitten.

"Not yet," Harry replied. He looked up and smirked at the others. "Well? Go on, I know you're all simply DYING to ask..."

"Was it you?" Neville demanded. "As in, all four of you?"

"Yep!" Blaise answered proudly. "And none of it would have been possible without the potions meddlers that are Draco and Harry..."

Hermione turned and Looked at them both. "Meddling with potions? In Professor Snape's classroom, no doubt."

Harry inched away from her disapproval, ending up almost sitting on Draco.

"It could have been worse," the Slytherin offered. Hermione turned to him with a raised eyebrow. "Well, it could have," he defended. "We could have been messing about with random ingredients and foodstuffs in Severus's private lab."

"No we couldn't have," Seamus pointed out. "I don't think we'd have gotten in there without express permission and total supervision by Snape himself at all times."

"Seamus is right," Blaise agreed. "Anyway, do we have any other questions, or are you satisfied with what you know?"

"Whose idea was it to put Snape in a box of jelly?" Lavender asked.

"Blaise's," Seamus told her.

"Well, not _all_ my idea," the Slytherin argued modestly. "Admittedly, when I saw the stuff in Harry's cauldron, I suddenly had a mental image of Snape swimming in it...then I remembered the box Draco and I had been using in the summer. But other than that, it was mostly Harry."

"He worked out how to set it up, and he came up with the snorkel and flippers," Seamus added. Then he grinned. "But it was all Draco's idea to bring our dear professor out in what he sleeps in..."

"And the light behind the box was a stroke of brilliance on Seamus's part," Harry concluded with a grin at the pink haired boy. "I'm personally looking forward to lunch."

Pansy looked to him curiously. "Why lunch?"

Blaise smirked. "Because by then, Pansy dear, Snape will have definitely discovered what Harry has done to his showerhead, and with any luck, we'll get to see it."

* * *

Finally, Sirius, Remus and Nate had calmed enough to sit down and pretend to be serious, while Sam just eyed them all wearily and Severus glowered at the world in general and the three men in front of him in particular.

Nate looked at the two ex-prisoners and the werewolf, carefully avoiding the snake-haired man...

Remus cleared his throat. "Okay, so from what I've gathered so far, you, Nate, are a spy against Voldemort, correct?" The blond man nodded. "Good. And Dumbledore knows this?"

"Of course. He's one of the very few who do."

"And you, Severus?"

"Yes, I knew."

"And Harry as well?"

"Yes," Nate replied.

"Now, we are here for you to explain the complicated mess that is the identity of the spies among Voldemort's Death Eater ranks, correct?"

"Uh huh."

"Very well. Get on with it before Sevvie's hair starts singing again."

Ignoring the increased scowl on the Potions Master's face, Nate began his explanation.

* * *

The Gryffindor and Slytherin sixth years had half an hour left before they had to go to Transfiguration.

"We've got a quiz," Neville stated suddenly. He quickly pulled out his Transfiguration book and flipped it to the relevant chapter. "I mean, I know we studied last night and all, but..."

"You'll do fine, Neville," Hermione told him soothingly. "Really, you knew all the material last night, we all did. We'll be fine."

Harry eyed his three partners-in-crime worriedly. He'd 'accidentally' allowed the existence of McGonagall's test to slip his mind. "Should we pull out our books?"

"Good idea," Seamus told him, bringing out his text. "Hopefully there will be no failing involved."

The four of them got to work, while the others either flipped through their books or chatted quietly.

After twenty minutes, Harry's head snapped up and he stared at Pansy and Millicent in confusion. "Something isn't right here."

"You're not suddenly going to go anti-Slytherin on us, are you Potter?" Millicent asked with a grin.

He rolled his eyes at her. "Of course not." He gazed around the room, suddenly realising what he'd found wrong. "Something doesn't match."

Blaise caught on immediately. "You're right, Harry. Any ideas?"

Harry eyed Millicent thoughtfully. "Teal, I think," he stated with a wave of his wand.

Pansy's eyes widened. "You're not going to do me, are you?"

He smirked. "Well of course, Pansy dear. Preferred colour, or should I pick?"

Sighing in resignation, she placed her Transfiguration text in her lap. "Bluish grey?"

He flicked his wand. "There you are then." He grinned. "I'd say I have quite the collection, now. Wouldn't you agree?"

Pansy looked around at her classmates, taking in each individual bright colour. She smiled. "I think it's a wonderful collection, Harry."

He grinned in delight.

* * *

"Let me see if I've got all this straight," Sam began after Nate finally finished explaining. "Lucius is a spy, secretly, and no one but yourself and Damon Nott know this, or at least, are supposed to know this."

Nate nodded. "That's correct."

"And you are also a spy, and no one but Sev, Harry and Dumbledore actually knew that, though Harry gave Sirius a few hints."

Sirius sighed. "All Harry really told me is that some of the Death Eaters are not as they seem, and to be alert for help coming from an unexpected place, should the need arise, and to just accept it and go with the flow."

"Harry actually asked me specifically to look out for you all, especially you and Sam, as you are the two usually in the most danger."

Sam nodded, smiling wryly. "We do tend to get the jobs in the more perilous sections. Okay. And both Lucius and yourself pass information to Damon, who gets it to Dumbledore. Right?"

"Right."

"Good. Now, I don't think I quite got this part...where are Lucius and Damon, and which side is Evan really on?"

"Well," Nate said with a sigh. "I don't really know about Lucius and Damon, though you mentioned that Evan said that Lucius was in the Malfoy Manor dungeons, so they actually might be."

"I can't believe that Evan is evil," Remus muttered. "He always was a weird kid, though."

Sam snickered.

"So yes, Evan is definitely on Voldemort's side, working, as far as I can tell, with Narcissa and Phillip Parkinson. Evan is pretending to be Lucius, it seems, and keeping his contact with Dumbledore open and discrediting the real Lucius by being himself when he's here. Phillip, I assume, is masquerading as Damon."

Nodding, Sam frowned. "Okay, but I - "

She was cut off by her husband's hair bursting into 'The Song That Never Ends' again.

After a few minutes, the snakes seemed to tire of the song, and fell silent once again.

A few minutes after _that_, Sirius, Remus and Nate calmed down enough to let Sam finish her sentence.

"As I was saying," she sighed. "I still don't understand _why_ they're doing this. It makes absolutely no sense."

"Probably because it was Narcissa's idea," Sirius said with a shrug. "No offence to my _dear_ cousin, but she's nearly as nuts as her sister. Bellatrix, that is, not Andromeda," he added hastily.

Nate nodded with a sigh. "I hate to say it, but that's the only real explanation I can come up with as well. And quite possibly just because they want to mess with our heads."

Speaking of heads, Severus's began to sing again.

"Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb, Mary had a little lamb, its fleece as white as snow..."

* * *

The sixth year Gryffindors and Slytherins managed to live through their Transfiguration class and even their test, and soon found that it was lunchtime. Minerva let her class go almost reluctantly, but found herself hurrying after them. She had seen how eager they were to leave, and she was quite certain that lunch was going to be entertaining...after all, it was probably Severus's turn to be pranked.

The students walked to the Hall in a loose group, but headed for their own house tables for the meal.

Minerva watched them from the staff table, noticing as she did so that neither Severus nor Remus had arrived for lunch yet.

She frowned suddenly, certain she could hear, faintly, singing...

* * *

"Baa baa black sheep, have you any wool, yes sir yes sir, three bags full..."

Severus had 'allowed' Sam and Remus to drag him to the Great Hall's doors, but he was adamant that he would _not_ be going through them. Really, he'd prefer to eat his meal with Nate and Black. Honest.

Neither his wife nor her brother listened to any of his pleas, and he was forcibly tugged into the Hall as his hair began a rousing rendition of 'Three Blind Mice'.

* * *

"Kearia."

Seven pairs of eyes moved from watching the doors to the Great Hall expectantly to eyeing Harry in confusion.

"Celtic for 'little dark one'," he continued.

Parvati reached over and patted him on the head. "That's nice, Har."

He rolled his eyes. "I'm not just spouting this off randomly for no reason, you know."

Hermione raised her eyebrows at him. "Then what are you talking about?"

"My kitten. I'm going to call her Kearia."

"Ah, it all makes sense now," Ron told him with a hint of sarcasm.

Harry prodded him in the back of the head. "You can't complain, your owl is called Pigwidgeon."

Ron rolled his eyes. "One, I wasn't complaining. Two, Ginny named Pig. Remember?"

"Yes," Harry allowed. "But you're the one that nicknamed him 'Pig'."

"Harry?"

"Yes Ron?"

"Shut up."

"Yes Ron."

"Kearia's a nice name," Lavender told him. "Where'd you find it?"

Harry shrugged and motioned vaguely to Ron with the hand that he wasn't using to hold his sandwich.

Lavender blinked. "Huh?"

"He can't tell you because Ron told him to shut up," Seamus translated. "Har, who ever said you had to listen to what Ron tells you to do?"

This time, Harry just glared and pointed at Dean, who grinned and shrugged innocently.

"Oh, speak up, Harry," Ron said teasingly. "You've gone awfully quiet all of a sudden."

Harry smacked Ron around the head, but turned to Lavender. "I think I read it in a book somewhere...can't really remember, I'm afraid."

"What should we be expecting to see once Snape gets here?" Neville asked suddenly. "Come on Harry, give us a hint."

The silver haired boy just smiled mysteriously. "Be patient, my friends, you all will soon see...and probably hear."

At that moment, the doors opened...

"Three blind mice, three blind mice, see how they run, see how they run..."

Harry smirked in satisfaction, and began to laugh.

The majority of people in the Great Hall, students and teachers alike, took one look at the green skinned, purple robed and blue-snake haired Potions Master before falling off their chairs in laughter.

* * *

SEVERUS: (Sulking in corner, glaring at everyone)

SAM: There, there, dear, I'm sure it will all wear off soon.

REMUS: Knowing Harry? I highly doubt it.

SAM: (Sighs) Oh dear…

VOLDEMORT: (Sulking in opposite corner to Severus) How is it fair that a whole bunch of my Death Eaters are plotting against me?

BELLATRIX: (Pats him sympathetically on the shoulder) There, there, My Lord, I'm sure everything will seem better in the morning.

VOLDEMORT: It's four thirty in the afternoon…

NARCISSA: So, you have to wait a bit. Be patient. No decent evil Dark Lord ever kept in power by being impatient.

VOLDEMORT: (Suspicious) Are you sure?

NARCISSA: (Sighs) Yes, Milord.

TOM: Ah well, Voldie, I'm sure you'll recover.

VOLDEMORT: I might not.

SIRIUS: I fail to see how that could be a problem.

VOLDEMORT: It's people like you that cause chronic depression and paranoia in Dark Lords…people like you, and spies.

REMUS: I feel quite proud, don't you Siri?

SIRIUS: Yep, sure do.

HARRY: (Sulking, not in corner at all)

REMUS: Harry, what's wrong?

HARRY: I lost something.

REMUS: (Hands Harry plate with a pie on it) Here, have a chicken pie. It'll make you feel better.

HARRY: (Suspiciously poking at pie with fork) Remus?

REMUS: Yes Harry?

HARRY: There appears to be a herring in my pie…

REMUS: Oh? I'm sorry, I'll bake you a new one tomorrow…I don't have any chicken left.

HARRY: That's not the problem.

REMUS: Then what is?

HARRY: The herring I lost was in the pie, Remus.

REMUS: Oh. Oops?

HARRY: (Uses herring to smack Remus across the back of the head)

Okay, posting now…

Please review!

SW


	25. Intimidation, TapDancing, and Herrings

Chapter inspired by my little pewter snake, whose name cannot be disclosed due to his embarrassment, and also because it's in the chapter.

Silver Sparklze – Thanks! And there was…a site. Yep, a website. For pet names. I found it through google back when I first put the kittens in, and there were three names I liked…this is the one I picked.

LoonyLoopyLisa – Hee hee, thanks. Well, I doubt he'll _kill _them, exactly… and yay for singing snakes. Sorry I confused you though…if you've got specific questions, ask 'em and I'll try to answer.

Charming Marauders – Heh, laughing _all _night? Hope you went well in your exam, thankfully mine have all been over as of yesterday! Now I'm free of the damn things till…oh dear. November…

mateja007 – uh, genius? (blushes) thanks…

Lil Irish QT – Glad you enjoyed it!

fifespice – glad you liked it and Sevvie will definitely be getting Harry back. Oops, sorry I confused you too! If you have any questions you want me to answer about that, ask me and I'll try.

mercyangel – (giggles) Thanks! And oh yes, the boys will have to make Sevvie suffer after what happens to them in this chapter and the next!

Kudostalker – Thanks heaps, and don't worry, I'll definitely keep writing!

Dark-One Shadowphyre – Ahhh, hm, I haven't had tea yet, might have to find some toast and a certain jellified Potions Master…thanks! Glad you enjoyed yourself…

Infinite13 – Heh, thanks!

musicgirl141 – Hee hee. And thanks, I like Kearia too.

Semma – (Grins) Wonderful to see you enjoying yourself…

cRazy-GIrl-3000 – Harry _adores_ his herrings…And Sevvie's not sure _what_ to think when it comes to Harry and Draco. I'm sure he'll get it eventually. Unfortunately the Evil Sticky Yellow Coco Pops of Doom didn't make it into Sevvie's bed, nor into this chapter. They'll be in the next one though.

Shinigami – I honestly don't know if Harry was inspired by Lav, it just seemed the right thing to do at the time… and hey, the spy thing was confusing me too. I had to sit down with a piece of paper and work it out, took me about 20 minutes to decide who and where and on which side everyone was. Sevvie's robes are now all very scary colours, such as pink, orange, yellow (all ones he wouldn't be caught dead in, you see). (Shudders) Oh, poor Barney-Sevvie… Well, Tom and Voldie…no idea. They're just…there. Tonks and her mother will show up somewhere eventually, and Siri and Remy…they'll probably be collected eventually! ;-)

DeppDRACOmaniac – Thank you! And don't worry, Sevvie will make Harry _suffer_…

Lady-Crymsyn – Thanks.

I-Shave-Clowns – People keep calling me a genius…don't know why. (Eyes Bobby-Top-Hat) Thanks! You're right, he is good at cleaning. But he keeps leaving the balloon animals where he's been cleaning….

Cricketpoor – Thanks, glad you like it! And they're my favourite pairings as well.

Kitty Maxwell-Yuy – Oh dear, that's a while to have been laughing…two chapters, in fact. (Grins) Glad you enjoyed!

mars explorer – Heh, thanks.

mlovektowsing – Funnier and funnier, huh? Well, that's certainly good to know!

TheSniggleRulz – Thank you. Originally the godmother thing was an accident, but I figured they both could be and mentioned it in this chapter. I mean, I have two godmothers, why cant Harry? So yes, thanks again for reminding me about it, I'd forgotten! Oh, and I love your name, by the way.

elfseamus – Thanks for all three reviews! Glad you like it, and no, romance wouldn't hurt…I'm getting there, don't worry!

bmc – Thanks. You too, huh? I felt the need for some laughs myself, so I've been spending the past few days getting this chapter done, and also doing some fanfic reading…

So yes, thanks again everyone! Onwards to the chapter!

* * *

Harry, Seamus, And The Master Plan 

By SilverWolf7007

Chapter Twenty-Five – Intimidation Tactics, Tap-Dancing, and Herrings of All Kinds

The rest of the day passed without incident. Having decided over dinner to meet in the library, Harry, Seamus, Draco and Blaise discussed this at a table near the back, over books on human Transfiguration and morphing potions.

"I don't like it," Harry stated. "It's far too quiet. Sevvie should hexed us all to Egypt seven times over by now."

"I know," Draco said pensively. "I've been expecting to be turned into something slimy since lunch."

"Intimidation tactics," Blaise declared. "He's just trying to scare us."

"Well, it certainly seems to be working," Seamus said, rolling his eyes. "And no matter what his tactics, we can't let our guards down - the second we do, he'll know, and then..."

"Sliminess."

"Why slimy, Draco?" Blaise asked. "Why not fuzzy, or pink, or bald?"

"Bald!" Draco yelped, hand flying to his head. "Oh god, I didn't even _think_ of _that_!"

Harry gave him a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, I don't think he'd remove your hair."

This calmed Draco, so Harry pointedly neglected to point out all the _other_ things Severus might do to the blond's hair.

After another two hours of talking and 'studying' their chosen topic, the four boys decided to keep an eye on the Potions Professor, especially after he'd gone to bed that night, before they headed to their Common Rooms.

It wasn't until he and Seamus had reached Gryffindor Tower until Harry realised the significance of one particular thing that had happened that day.

"Oh damn."

Seamus turned to him and frowned as he saw how pale his friend had gone. "What's the matter, Felix?"

"I've just realised something."

"What?"

"Sam's back."

"So?"

Harry turned to Seamus with an expression of utter dread. "Well, after a weekend in the clutches of the Death Eaters and then what was probably a tiring escape...who do YOU think is going to go to bed first?"

Seamus gulped. "We really _are_ going to die."

"This time, I have to agree."

* * *

Later that night, as he was about to get into bed, Draco realised that same thing. Somehow, in his horror he managed to trip on the edge of his bed, and ended up sprawled across the floor. 

Blaise and Jason looked down at him, and the white-haired boy raised an eyebrow. "Draco, what are you doing on the floor?"

Making no effort to get up, Draco replied in a despondent and somewhat muffled by the carpet voice. "I'm staying down here until the storm blows over."

"What storm?" Jason asked in confusion. "You mean Snape?"

"In a way," Draco allowed, still muffled. "Sam's back, Blaise. She'll probably be tired, Blaise."

Blaise's eyes widened in dawning realisation. "She's going to go to bed and discover that little gift you left Professor Sevvie."

Jason managed to put the gist of the situation together from what they'd just said. "I think you guys are pretty much doomed."

"I don't doubt it," Blaise replied.

* * *

By the end of the day, Sam was exhausted. Thankfully, the snakes that were once Severus's hair had fallen asleep not long after dinner, and Harry had privately assured her that they would stay that way until breakfast. 

She left her husband in the lounge area in front of the fire, where he was attempting to change the colours of his robes (especially the lurid pink outfit that she was certain Harry had modified).

Changing quickly, she headed towards the bed, turning the lights off as she went.

Sam pulled back the covers and slid into the bed.

Her eyes widened in horror and she flicked her wand, restoring light to the bedroom.

The bed was full of lime jelly and…herrings.

She screamed.

* * *

Severus was failing miserably at fixing his clothes. Whatever Harry had done appeared to be irreversible. 

Annoyed, he threw the pink robes into the fireplace, where they immediately burst into flame.

He had just lifted his mug of hot chocolate to his lips when a loud scream shattered the previous calm of the dungeons.

Swearing violently as his drink went everywhere, Severus leapt to his feet.

Before he could go any further, however, Sam appeared in the doorway to the bedroom, dripping with jelly and, he noticed with a frown, smelling slightly of fish.

"What happened?"

"Those insufferable brats filled the bed with jelly and herrings," she growled. "I know I said I wasn't going to get involved with this prank war, but..."

Severus began to smirk faintly. "But you've changed your mind?"

"Yes, I have," she replied. "And I agree, those four are going _down_."

* * *

The next morning, Neville nearly died of shock when he pulled Harry's curtains back and found the other boy sitting on his bed fully dressed with his kitten in his lap, stroking her absently as he flicked through his charms textbook. 

"Morning Nev," Harry offered, looking up with a small, somewhat nervous smile.

Neville immediately sat down beside his friend with a worried frown. "Harry, you know you can tell me anything, right?"

Harry eyed him in confusion. "Of course. Why?"

"Well, not only are you up this early, but you look kind of nervous."

"Ah," Harry replied succinctly, turning back to his book and flipping to the next page.

"Har?"

"I'm fine, Nev. Promise." He winced. "Though, I don't think I'll be able to say the same thing by the end of the day."

"Want to tell me what's got you so stressed, then?"

"Sam."

"Snape's wife? What about her?"

"She's going to kill us, of course," answered Seamus cheerfully, appearing at the other side of Harry's bed.

"Geez Finnigan, don't _do_ that!" Neville yelped. "And why is she going to ki - oh no," he groaned, suddenly realising. "You did something in Snape's rooms planned for him that you think will have happened to her instead...something to the bed?"

Harry nodded miserably, abandoning all pretence of reading and dropping his charms book onto the bed. "Draco filled it with jelly."

"And Harry added herrings," Seamus added grimly. "We're going to be killed. Damn I'm glad we don't have potions today."

"No," Neville said with dawning horror on behalf of his friends. "But we _do_ have Care of Magical Creatures this afternoon, and Hagrid's still not back."

Seamus gave a strangled scream and dived head first onto the bed, burying his head under one of Harry's pillows.

Harry gulped. "Right, I'm making a mental note not to think about that until at least lunch. I need a distraction..." Suddenly he smirked. "Nev?"

"Yes, Harry?" the other boy replied warily.

"So tell me, my friend, what was going on with you, Pansy and that Jarvey last lesson?"

Neville went bright red as Seamus emerged from under the pillow with a curious expression on his face. "I don't know what you mean," he declared.

Seamus snorted. "_Sure_ you don't. That's about as likely as Harry, Fred and George giving up pranking and becoming model citizens working in the Ministry's most tame and boring jobs."

"I've always wanted to work in the Department of Herpetology," Harry said dreamily.

"Har, there are a couple of things wrong with your continuation of my embarrassing Nev," Seamus began. "One, well, the Department of Herpetology doesn't actually exist."

"I could be the founder," Harry argued with a pout.

"Well you could," Neville allowed. "But another thing, a department focussed on studying reptiles wouldn't exactly be tame and boring, especially not for _you_."

Harry just glared at them both before turning to Neville with a bright smile. "So, you were telling us about how you fancy Pansy, I believe?"

"Shut up, Harry."

"But Nev, we really wanna know," Seamus whined.

"Well, I'm not telling."

"Please?"

"No, Harry."

"Aw, c'mon Nev, don't be such a spoil sport!"

Neville eyed his currently silver haired friend with consideration. "Tell you what," he suggested. "You tell me what's going on with you two, Malfoy and Zabini, and I'll tell you about Pansy."

Seamus and Harry exchanged a glance.

"No?" asked a smug Neville.

Harry smirked. "Well, no. But don't you worry, Neville, I _will_ find out...and you know it."

"That I do," Neville agreed. "Which is why I'm not going to tell you."

"I don't get it," Seamus muttered.

"I'm going to make him find out for himself...its more fun for me that way."

"Except the knowledge that wherever you go, there's a possibility that Harry's spying on you."

Neville grinned. "True. But that's a possibility any day, a probability in most cases."

Seamus snickered. "So true, so very true."

Harry sulked.

* * *

"What's wrong with you this morning?" Lavender asked, noticing the sullen expression on Harry's face as he followed the other boys down from the dorm. 

She merely received a pout.

"Okay..."

"Don't mind him," Dean told her with a shrug. "He's been like this since Ron and I woke up - I think Neville and Seamus were picking on him again."

Harry just nodded, sending the two boys in question a glower.

"Oh, Har," Parvati sighed. "You know they don't mean it, whatever it was."

"We did too," Seamus argued. "We were stating pure facts. Harry has a slight tendency to spy on people."

Hermione patted her friend on his silver hair. "There there, Harry. But really, they _are_ right."

Harry poked her in the arm before smirking and darting out of the Common Room.

Ron blinked. "I swear, that boy gets nuttier every day."

* * *

It wasn't until Sam awoke the next morning that the second part of the prank on the bed made itself apparent, and she found herself wondering which of those four brats - er, boys, would be her first victims. 

She didn't actually have anything against the animal in question. No, that wasn't the problem.

"Of course, I don't see how this would have gone with your hair and skin, Sev," she observed, looking at herself in the mirror.

Severus was standing behind her attempting to keep a straight face. So far, he was failing miserably. "You're probably right, Sammy. But I don't think coordination is really what the boys had in mind."

"You're right, of course."

Her ears were itchy. They twitched. Severus snorted.

"Shut up."

"Well you have to admit, love, it _is_ kind of - "

"I said shut _up_, Severus," she repeated in a deadly tone.

He gulped. "Yes dear."

Not wanting to risk her wrath any further, and still completely unable to _not_ laugh, Severus turned on his heel and headed back to their bedroom, hoping to either find another decent set of robes or to just run a quick cleaning charm over the purple ones from yesterday. Unfortunately for him, the house elves had taken the purple robes, and he had to resort to searching his cupboards.

Sam, on the other hand, was already dressed in dark pink robes and was currently staring at her reformed ears and her new appendage in the mirror.

* * *

Having left before the others, Harry arrived at the Great Hall quite a ways ahead of them. Ignoring the Gryffindor Table for the time being, he crossed the room to the Slytherin Table and sat down between Draco and Pansy, both of whom turned and raised an eyebrow at him. 

He smiled brightly. "Morning!"

Draco blinked. "I thought you hated mornings."

"I didn't say _good_ morning, now, did I?"

"Well, I suppose not."

"Draco, I think we have a little problem," Harry told him, expression sombre.

"Yes, I know," the Slytherin told him with a similar expression. "Sam is going to kill all four of us for what we put in her bed."

Harry nodded miserably. "Not to mention the charm..."

Draco shuddered. "I was _trying_ not to remember that part, Har."

"Sorry Dray."

"What was the charm?" Pansy asked, looking from one boy to the other. Neither replied, so she looked across the table to Blaise. "Well?"

The white haired Slytherin winced. "I don't think we should talk about it here..."

She glared at him. "Oh come on, it's not like she wont know it was you!"

"All right," Harry sighed, trying to hide a suddenly appearing smirk. "We'll tell you if you tell us what's going on with you and Neville."

She smacked him around the back of the head. "I don't want to know _that_ badly!"

"Drat! Foiled again!"

* * *

Remus was in shock. He felt he had several good reasons for being in such a state. 

Reason one was that Severus's hair, while still asleep, was now snoring to the tune of Incy Wincey Spider, and the man had evidently been unable to find any 'decent' robes, and was currently attired in an electric blue set that matched his snakes but clashed with his green skin.

Reason two was probably the more prominent reason.

He was aware of his sister's fondness for the colour pink, and had equated it with her fondness for Severus - distasteful to him, desirable for her, and something he could do nothing about. So he didn't mind the pink robes.

No, it was the effects of what he assumed was part of the boys' spells accidentally affecting the wrong person that had really caught his attention.

Sam's ears had changed shape and moved to the top of her head. Remus noted absently that they were almost identical to Pixie's.

She had also gained herself an additional appendage. It was long. It was black. It was fluffy. And it was attached to the base of her spine...

Finally, Remus shook off his shock enough to speak. "Er, Sammy?"

"Yes, Remus?" she growled.

"Um, are you aware that you appear to have a - "

"Yes! For gods sake, yes! I _do_ know that I have cat's ears, and I _definitely_ know that I've grown a tail!" Realising that she had the attention of everyone in the Hall, she decided to make the most of it. "And when I get my hands on the four I'm blaming for this, believe me, you _will_ suffer!"

Remus gave up on braving his sister's company and moved several seats down the table to sit with Minerva.

She raised an eyebrow at him. "Dare I even ask?"

Sam apparently heard her. "Dare away, Min! _Your_ godson, Severus's godson, and their two partners in crime were the cause of this, and I am _not_ letting them get away with it!"

"_My_ godson?" Minerva asked mildly, hiding a smile. "Are you sure you don't mean _our_ godson? Lily and James appointed us both, as I recall."

"Indeed," Sam grudgingly agreed. "But that doesn't mean I'm taking _any_ blame for him when he's given me feline body parts!"

As Sam turned back to her breakfast, Minerva raised an eyebrow at Remus. "I do believe that you've instigated the largest scale prank war since...well, as far back as I can remember!"

Remus looked appalled. "I most certainly did not! Severus declared the war, after all!"

"Yes, but as you told me, it was only after you had Harry prank him in potions."

"But..."

"No buts, Remus Lupin."

"Well, I certainly didn't get Sam involved!"

"I'll give you that, but only because your minions got there first."

Remus grinned brightly. "Yay! I have minions!"

Minerva rolled her eyes. "Well, as you may or may not know, your 'minions' are already causing more trouble."

"What! How? It's Sevvie's turn, how can they be?"

Silently, she pointed.

"Oh."

"Quite."

"Am I allowed to award house points for that?"

"Oh, if only we _could_..."

"Well, why not?"

"Because Albus may fire us."

"He can take a joke as well as the next man, Minnie."

"Perhaps. But he's quite fond of that beard."

"He's also neutral. And we _need_ him to stay that way! With Albus on their side, we wouldn't stand a chance!"

"No fear, my dear boy!" Albus assured him. "I'm staying _well_ out of thisone."

"Oh good," Remus said with a relieved sigh. Still, he found himself needing to look away from the Headmaster's scarily glowing lemon yellow beard and hair. It seemed to be twinkling at him...Harry had added something to the spell this time.

Albus smiled at him cheerfully. "Besides, I'm quite fond of what young Harry has done to my beard and hair...one of my favourite colours, after all!" He stood up and cleared his throat. All eyes were drawn to him, but most had to look away almost immediately in order to retain their eyesight.

Harry looked a little nervous.

"Mr Potter!" the Headmaster began. "I would like to award you thirty points to Gryffindor for my wonderful new hair colour!"

Harry grinned up at him. "Well, I picked it, but Draco suggested the sparkly bits."

The man's grin widened. "Wonderful! Mr Malfoy, thirty points to Slytherin!"

He sat down at the same time as the smirking teens, immediately returning to his breakfast of toast and... Remus squinted. Was that _really_ wasabi and mayonnaise?

Minerva and Remus exchanged a glance. With Albus in charge and Harry having free reign...well, it was a wonder the castle was still standing. They both had their doubts that it still would be come the boy's graduation.

* * *

Charms and even History of Magic passed far too soon in Harry's eyes, and it was with a feeling of intense dread that he and Seamus followed their fellow Gryffindors into the Great Hall for lunch. 

There was the usual hum of the student body conversing, the tinny sound of Severus's snakes singing Row Row Row Your Boat, and…

From somewhere within the Great Hall came the tune to Three Blind Mice.

The Gryffindors took their seats, wondering what was going on, when Seamus stood up and walked to the front of the Hall.

Ever observant, Harry pointed out to his friends that Blaise was doing the same thing.

After a few moments, the boys stood completely still beside one another, trading glances of pure horror.

"What are they _doing_?" Hermione hissed into his ear.

Harry shook his head. "Nothing voluntary. I think this might be the beginnings of Sev and Sam's revenge."

As if to confirm his words, a puff of pink and white smoke appeared, covering both boys from head to foot.

The cloud gradually cleared, leaving the students a good view of how the two were now dressed.

Seamus was wearing a white tutu, while Blaise's was pink.

"They match each other's hair," muttered an amazed Neville.

"And they're wearing tap shoes," stated Parvati. They all looked at her, and she blushed. "I took lessons when I was little."

The Three Blind Mice tune suddenly increased in volume, and Blaise and Seamus began a complicated tap-dance routine that they certainly wouldn't have been able to perform normally.

The Hall was in hysterics, barring only two students.

Harry, seeing how outnumbered he was, dashed across the Hall and dropped into Blaise's vacated seat beside Draco, who was also still staring in horror at the dancing boys.

"We're doomed, aren't we?" the Slytherin whispered in a defeated voice. "We'll never beat them."

Having been thinking the same thing only moments ago, Harry suddenly found he had room in his mind to hope. "You know what? I think you're wrong. I think we'll kick their arses...but, that's after we're revenged upon."

Draco shivered. "I _really_ don't like the sound of that."

Harry put his arm around the other boy's shoulders comfortingly. "Don't worry, once it's all over, we'll get them back. Again."

"Good," Draco stated with a faint grin, using Harry's shoulder as a leaning post. "And don't move. You're comfortable."

He couldn't hold back a smile. "Yes, I am."

Draco snorted softly. "Dork."

"Git."

"Prat."

"Blondie."

"Slytherin."

"I thought that was you?"

"Are you kidding? You're more of a Slytherin than the entire House put together!"

"You think so?"

"Sure."

"Thanks. That's quite a compliment, coming from the king of Slytherin himself."

"I thought so."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, ignoring the laughter of everyone else, until finally, the music came to an end and the dancers stumbled to join them.

"You're still wearing the tutus," Harry pointed out with an amusedly raised eyebrow.

Blaise and Seamus glowered at him. "We can't get them off!" the Gryffindor exclaimed, falling dramatically into the seat across from Harry.

Seating himself next to the pink haired boy, Blaise nodded. "We've been trying."

"It won't work," offered Remus, walking up behind the exhausted ex-entertainment.

Seamus yelped. "Bloody hell Lupin, don't _do_ that!"

"Why won't it work?" Blaise asked, ignoring the other's outburst.

Remus appeared to be trying to hide a smirk. "I taught Sam the spell to stop you removing them."

"You _traitor_!"

"I am not," Remus defended against the tutu wearing Slytherin. "I taught her years ago...in fact, I thought she'd forgotten it."

"Oh."

"Never mind," the older man said cheerfully. "It'll wear off in a day or two."

Seamus and Blaise stared at him in horror.

* * *

Lunch was over. Most of the students and teachers were still snickering over the prank on Seamus and Blaise, while the two boys in question were alternating between relief that the worst was over and utter humiliation at still having to wear the tutus. 

Harry and Draco, on the other hand, were terrified.

Dean, Neville, Jason and Ron had had to physically drag the two from the Great Hall, and were now walking in a loose ring around them, preventing any escapes.

"Bleeding traitors," Harry was muttering darkly to his fellow prisoner. "Or they _will_ be once I'm done with them...couldn't just leave us to run away, could they, oh no, that'd be too damn _nice_!"

Draco was rubbing his back soothingly. "I know, we'd be _so_ much safer in the Forbidden Forest right now, running about with vampires, getting fashion tips from my mother...being anywhere _near_ my mother...telling my uncle he's a pineapple..."

"A pineapple?" Harry asked, eyebrow raised. "What's wrong with that?"

The blond shuddered. "You haven't met my uncle...he makes you and Blaise seem sane."

Harry stopped dead and stared at him wide eyed. "Wow...I want to meet him!"

Draco snorted. "Are you kidding? I wouldn't let the two of you near each other if you _payed_ me! I'd be far too afraid for my hair."

The other boy reached up and flicked his fingers through the currently golder-than-normal locks. "I wouldn't worry, if I were you. I wouldn't let him near your hair. It's far too pretty."

The Slytherin turned faintly pink.

"We're here!" exclaimed the _far_ to enthusiastic Jason.

Harry and Draco both treated him to a Glare of Death. Jason gulped.

"All right, fess up," Draco demanded. "Who gave Jason sugar?"

A guilty looking Pansy raised her hand before smirking at something over his shoulder.

The two froze, and then slowly turned around to face the innocently smiling face of Sam Snape, tail flicking ominously.

"Today," she began in a poisonously sweet tone. "We shall simply be continuing where we left off. Studying Jarveys. I'm sure you recall the groups you are in and the Jarvey that you are working with. Please begin."

Seamus and Blaise exchanged a worried glance before heading off to find their Jarvey. They both doubted, from the expressions of terror on their faces, that Harry and Draco were up to the task.

* * *

Half way through the lesson, Seamus and Blaise were fairly sure that they had managed to convince Harry and Draco to stop worrying so much about Sam doing anything to them in Care of Magical Creatures, as they personally believed that she had adopted Severus's strategy of intimidation. 

Well, they thought they had convinced them.

Blaise was holding their albino Jarvey still while Seamus, as per Sam's current instructions to the class, attempted to brush the creature.

Harry and Draco were relaxing beneath a tree nearby, alternating between watching the other half of their group and eyeing Sam nervously.

"So, what do you think she's going to do to us?" Draco asked, eyes on their teacher.

"I honestly haven't got a clue," Harry confessed. "All I know is that we're likely not to enjoy it."

The two of them fell silent, and Harry found his gaze being drawn to a scene of interest not too far away.

Ron and Hermione appeared to be arguing about something, but Harry's attention was on the other half of their group.

Pansy was holding the brush, while Neville was trying to keep their Jarvey still. The Jarvey, however, seemed intent on making life more difficult for them, as it was wriggling with a vengeance and inundating Neville with a slew of insults.

Eventually, Pansy tired of that. "Silencio."

Neville gave her a grateful grin. "Thanks, Pansy."

She blushed slightly and smiled back. "No problem."

Harry turned and raised an eyebrow at Draco, who had also been watching the other group. "I believe we might have something worth investigating."

"I agree, but we should probably wait until we're sure that Sam and Severus have sated their need for revenge against us."

"You're right," Harry sighed. "So, on a somewhat related subject, I don't suppose you know what Ron and 'Mione were arguing about?"

Draco smirked. "Actually, I do. The idiot was insulting her cat, and - "

Harry interrupted him with a groan. "Oh, you can stop there, the rest is ingrained in my memory. Gods! I swear, Ron has absolutely no brain in that head of his! How does he expect Hermione to date him when he spends all his time harping on about her cat?"

"I have no idea," Draco said with a sigh. "I don't suppose there's anything you can do about that?"

"I plan to have a _Talk_ with Ronald Weasley," Harry growled. "I've been meaning to for a while. He's never liked Crookshanks, much, but it's become worse, lately, because Crookshanks has been trying to get on Ron's good side by bringing him presents."

Draco raised an eyebrow. "And Ron can't see that the small dead animals are gifts?"

"No. Mainly because they're usually large spiders. Ron thinks that Crookshanks is menacing him on purpose, and that the poor cat knows he doesn't like spiders."

"Idiot," Draco muttered. "And I get the feeling he hasn't a clue that your kitten is Crookshanks' daughter."

"What did he say?"

"He asked her why her cat couldn't be a nice, sweet, innocent creature like yours."

"Oh dear. And her name is Kearia, by the way."

"Kearia? That's a good name, I love it." He eyed Harry hopefully. "I don't suppose you want to help me name mine?"

"Do you have any ideas for her?" Harry asked.

"I don't know. I keep thinking some kind of flower, but most of the flower names are taken."

Harry nodded. "What about Rose?"

"My cousin's name."

"Ah." Harry thought for several minutes.

"Anything?"

"Willow?"

Draco was silent.

"Dray?"

Slowly, the blond grinned. "It's perfect. Thank you." He leaned over and kissed Harry on the cheek.

Harry blinked at him in shock and they both looked away, blushing.

A few minutes later, Harry was about to speak when he was interrupted.

_:Honestly! Humans, they just have to make a big deal out of_ everything

Looking around in confusion, Harry came face to face with a small silvery coloured snake that was watching him with dark grey eyes and hanging from a nearby low branch. _:Hello:_

The snake blinked. _:Er, hi. Since when do you humans speak a sensible language:_

Harry snorted. _:We don't - I mean, most humans don't speak your language. I'm just one of the few lucky ones who can.:_

_:Oh. Cool.:_

This snake was effectively killing any and all previous notions Harry had about how snakes spoke. _:So, what's your name, where are you from:_

_:I live around here, always have. And I'd prefer not to disclose my name.:_

Harry raised an eyebrow at him._ :Why ever not:_

He was positive that if it were possible, the snake would have been blushing. _:Well, my mother was a bit...confused, you see. It's kind of embarrassing.:_

Draco cleared his throat and Harry turned to him. "Having a nice chat?" the blond asked innocently.

Harry poked him. "Yes, actually. I'd introduce you, but he's embarrassed about his name and won't tell it to me."

_:Oh fine. I'll tell you, but only because I like you. Once you've finished laughing at me, I'm coming with you, too, possibly for the rest of one of our lives.:_

_:All right then, why not? I'm Harry, by the way, and this is Draco.:_

_:Nice to meet you both. I'm Herring.:_

* * *

SAM: (Plotting death for all) 

SEVERUS: (Plotting with Sam)

BLAISE: Makes me glad they've gotten Seamus and I already.

DRACO: And yet I'm so _not_ comforted…

HARRY: Don't worry so much, Dray, we'll make them _suffer_.

DRACO & HARRY: Mwahahahahahahahaha!

SAM & SEVERUS: Oh dear…

SIRIUS: Ah, I'm so proud, Har.

TOM: Me too.

REMUS: Why on earth are you proud of him? I wasn't aware you'd met.

TOM: Well…

HARRY: (Smirks) Tom taught me all I know about fishing.

TOM: Yep!

BELLATRIX: I've seen _both_ of you fish before…you both suck.

HARRY: (Sulks) Do not.

BELLATRIX: Do too.

HARRY: I refuse to enter into an immature argument with an insane minion of a Dark Lord whose chosen name can nickname to Voldie.

VOLDEMORT: Bitch.

HARRY: Who, me?

VOLDEMORT: Yes you.

HARRY: Couldn't have been.

BELLATRIX: Then who stole the damn cookies?

NARCISSA: I think I might know…

LUCIUS: (Tries to hide jar with his hand stuck in it behind his back)

AVERY: I think I can see a culprit too…

LUCIUS: Nate! You're supposed to be on my side!

AVERY: I am. But it's a neutral cookie jar.

LUCIUS: Damn!

HARRY: Quite. Now hold out your hand.

LUCIUS: Are you going to get this jar off?

HARRY: Yes.

LUCIUS: (Suspicious) Will I still have a hand when you're done?

HARRY: Probably.

LUCIUS: (Sighs and holds out hand and jar)

HARRY: (Smashes jar with rock)

LUCIUS: Ow!

BELLATRIX: You _killed _the bloody cookie jar!

HARRY: Who, me?

NARCISSA: Let's not start that all again.

HARRY: Oh all right. Oh, and Remus?

REMUS: Er, no? I'm not here.

SIRIUS: You just should have run away and not answered, Remy.

REMUS: (Sighs) Yes, I know. What, Har?

HARRY: (Conjures feather duster) Well, you baked my herring into a pie, remember?

REMUS: Oh crap.

HARRY: (Attacks Remus with feather duster)

REMUS: Help!

Okay guys, love you all, even those of you who don't review (though I'd love it if you did, heh heh).

So, please review!

Until next time,

SW


	26. The Evil Sticky Yellow Coco Pops of Doom

Yay, I _finally_ managed to get this chapter finished!

I've shoved the review replies down to the bottom of the chapter, which I've been thinking about doing for a while.

That all said, read and enjoy!

* * *

Harry, Seamus, and the Master Plan

By SilverWolf7007

Chapter Twenty-Six – The Evil Sticky Yellow Coco Pops of Doom

Once Harry had recovered enough to inform Draco of the snake's name, and once they had both recovered a second time, the class was almost over.

"So, how are you going to explain your new friend?" Draco asked Harry as they watched Seamus and Blaise returning their Jarvey to the pen Sam was keeping them in.

Harry raised an eyebrow. "You mean, how am I going to explain suddenly having a snake as an integral part of my life, or how am I going to explain what his name is with a straight face?"

The blond snorted. "Both?"

_:Oh, please. Get over it, will you both? You'll have to eventually...I _do_ hope it doesn't take you several years.:_

"Herring wishes us to get over his name, Dray," Harry said in mock surprise. "I don't know WHAT he means..."

"Uh huh. Of course you don't."

"Anyway, back to your question. I guess they'll just have to deal with him. And hey, no one has a problem with Kearia. Why with Herring?"

_:Um, maybe because I might bite them:_

Harry frowned. "That's a good point. Are you poisonous?"

Again, the snake looked embarrassed. _:Sure. In a way.:_

_:Oh, come off it. You want to live with me, you're going to have to tell me these things.:_

Fine_! If I decide to share my lovely poison with someone, it sends them off to the land of psychedelic trippiness. Works especially well on you humans - I think there's a connection with imagination or something, I'm not sure.:_

"Well? Is he poisonous?"

Harry was laughing too hard to answer.

_:It's not _that_ funny:_ Herring defended petulantly. _:Think about it. I bite someone you don't like, they start seeing everything in psychedelic colours and watching their hand move...can be a debilitating thing, really. Also a really good distraction.:_

Frowning thoughtfully, Harry nodded. "Quite true." He turned to Draco. "Yes, he's poisonous. A hallucinogenic toxin."

Draco blinked. "As in, sends people off to lala land hallucinations?"

At Harry's nod, the blond snorted.

"It could be quite useful, actually," he was told in an offhand tone.

"Oh?"

"Sure. We could have him bite Sam later on."

Draco smirked.

_:I don't get it:_ Herring complained. _:One minute you're pissing yourself laughing - not literally, thank god, and then the next you're thinking up practical uses. Why did you have to laugh:_

"Because," Harry replied in English, for Draco's benefit. "You said 'trippiness'."

* * *

Back when he was a child, Seamus had found that he had an insatiable curiosity. Well, his mother had, at any rate. This meant that when he and Blaise joined Harry and Draco under their tree, planning to drag them up to the castle to meet their fates, he immediately demanded to know why the two of them were rolling on the ground laughing.

They calmed after a minute, and Harry reached up to a branch near his head, allowing a small silver snake to wind itself around his wrist.

Seamus blinked. "Uh, Harry? Who's the snake?"

Draco snorted. "Seamus, Blaise, I'd like to introduce you to Herring."

"His mother was confused," Harry offered.

Herring glowered as the two boys laughed. _:I don't know what you two are laughing at; you're the ones wearing tutus.:_

Grinning, Harry pointed this out for him. The two boys stopped laughing and poked their tongues out at the small snake.

Harry and Draco got to their feet and each grabbed their Housemate, pulling them towards Hermione, Ron, Neville and Pansy, who had only just managed to get their Jarvey put away.

Pansy was the first to notice them. "Have a good lesson?" she asked.

"I did!" Draco replied brightly. "I met a snake."

Neville, who was the only one of the four to have spotted Herring, sighed. "Yes, so I see. He won't bite us in the middle of the night or anything, will he Harry?"

"Naw," Harry reassured him. "And if he does, he's not...deadly."

This satisfied Neville, but Ron still looked worried. "You didn't just want to stick with the nice, safe, slightly insane and yet still sweet kitten?" he said hopefully.

"Of course not," Harry scoffed. "That'd be far too boring. Besides, I've already broken the rules by having a cat _and_ an owl, so why not add a snake to the mix?"

"For the sake of my poor stressed heart?" Ron suggested dryly.

Hermione rolled her eyes affectionately. "Don't worry, Ron. I'm sure you can hex Harry to the deepest pits of hell if the snake bites you...what's his name, by the way?"

After learning it, she and Pansy were giggling the entire way to the castle, Ron and Neville snickering behind them. Herring spent the walk hissing threats of death, dismemberment and scary dreams to Harry, who had to hold onto Draco for support, translating through his own laughter.

* * *

Harry, Draco, Blaise, Seamus, Hermione, Ron, Pansy and Neville spent what was left of the afternoon in the library, actually studying. Of course, Herring insisted that he 'help' Harry, and between stifling his laughter, translating for the others, them stifling _their_ laughter, and explaining strange human concepts to the snake, no one really got that much work done.

However, the fun was soon to end.

"Um, Harry?" Seamus began quietly, shifting ever so slightly so that the entirety of Ron's taller and larger frame was separating him from his Parselmouth friend and the poisonous snake that had attached itself to him.

Harry looked up from where he was trying to explain reasons for a calming draught to Herring with Draco's help and eyed the nervous pink haired boy with suspicion. "Yes, Seamus?"

"Well, not to break up the great mood or anything," he continued bravely. "But it's...kind of...I mean, it's..."

"It's time for dinner," Neville explained chirpily. "Which means we get to drag you both to the Great Hall where Professor Snape and his wife will undoubtedly make utter fools out of you for the amusement of everyone else."

"I hate you all," Harry growled resentfully. "Except Draco and Herring," he amended.

"Well, it's your own fault," Hermione told him. "If you hadn't pranked them in the first place..."

"Yeah, yeah, I know," he grumbled. "But I don't have to like it."

Laughing, she stood up, grabbed his hand and pulled him out of his seat. "Come on then. Let's get you humiliated."

Groaning, he allowed himself to be dragged to the Great Hall, knowing that Pansy was doing the same to Draco behind them, while Blaise, Neville, Ron and Seamus trailed after, snickering.

Harry extracted himself from Hermione's grip as she tried to pull him to the Gryffindor table. "'Mione, I'm not going to run, but I'm also not going to fool myself into thinking she's not going to get me tonight. I'm not eating yet."

"Then what _are_ you going to do?" she demanded. "I'm not letting you out of the Hall."

"I know, I know." He turned to Draco. "I'm going to take a leaf out of your book and see if I can't scare the Slytherins by joining them for dinner."

Blaise snorted. "And you accuse us Slyths of being evil."

A few minutes later, Harry was receiving strange looks from the majority of Slytherin students, while across the Hall most of the Gryffindors seemed resigned to the presence of Blaise and Pansy.

Jason raised an eyebrow at both he and Draco. "Not hiding under your beds in utter terror?" he asked.

Sarah, who had joined them from the Ravenclaw table, shared a look with Maddy and the two of them slapped Jason around the back of the head.

"Ow..."

"Not hiding under your bed in utter terror, Jason?" Harry asked sweetly.

Before Jason could reply, and quite possibly start a verbal war, the five of them realised that the Hall was beginning to fall silent.

Mentally stamping down on his terror, Harry followed the gaze of his schoolmates and saw that, just as he'd dreaded, Sam was standing up at the Staff Table, seemingly waiting for quiet.

Draco poked his arm. "Where's Severus?"

Harry scanned the table, but as Draco had indicated, the Potions Master was absent. "You know what this means, don't you?"

While he didn't answer, Harry had no doubt that Draco did - as the Slytherin boy was currently being levitated to the front of the Hall, probably at the hand of the 'absent' professor.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Gryffindors and Slytherins, may I introduce tonight's entertainment?" Sam began, smirking in a scarily evil way.

As Draco was engulfed in a puff of silver smoke, Harry suddenly realised that while Draco was about to be humiliated..._he_ _wasn't_. And that worried him.

The smoke was beginning to clear, and just as Harry noticed that Draco was now wearing nothing but a pair of silver Speedos, a piece of parchment appeared in front of his eyes.

He glared.

_'Harry. Don't worry; we're saving you for breakfast. Sleep well. Love Sam & Sev.'_

Harry gulped, watching the parchment burst into flames.

"Mr Draco Malfoy, everyone, has kindly given up his dinner in order to keep us all amused."

Draco was now standing at the front of the Hall wearing not much (which Harry would have been able to appreciate better were he not worried for the blond), but while Harry had been distracted a large glass box, oddly reminiscent of the one they had trapped Severus in, had appeared above his head. In fact, Harry was almost certain that it was the _same_ box.

The second puff of smoke was an odd yellow colour, and it engulfed both Draco and the box above his head.

When it cleared...

"He shall stay in this box until the end of dinner," Sam concluded. "I hope you all enjoy your evenings...oh, and one more thing. Don't tap on the glass. He may become violent. Thank you for your time."

As Sam sat down, Harry managed to process exactly what had happened to Draco.

He was, as Sam said, now in the box. In that same box, was...something. It was strange. It looked immensely sticky, it was yellow, but Harry had no clue as to what it actually was. It reached up to just past Draco's knees, but also coated him from head to toe - concentrated on his hair.

Draco too had made this observation, and was now frantically trying to get it out. It was a task that was proving to be nearly impossible.

Mostly, the students were finding this amusing. Even Seamus and Blaise were grinning faintly.

Harry, on the other hand, had nothing but sympathy for his friend - that, and a vague sense of intense horror. If they did this to Draco, after what they'd done to Seamus and Blaise...

"Think of it this way," Jason said in a reassuring tone, as though reading his mind. "Sure, they'll prank you to hell and back, but after they've gotten you, you can get them back. And I don't doubt that you'll kick serious arse."

"Thanks, Jason," Harry said, somewhat surprised. "How come you aren't one of the hysterically laughing masses?"

Jason grinned. "Cos I'm not stupid. You and Draco are highly likely to, at the end of the prank war, prank everyone who laughed at the pranks on you. Am I right?"

"Well, yes..."

"In that case, since I'm trying my hardest not to join the aforementioned masses, can I get a heads up for me and Sarah, once this is all over?"

Seeing a barely smiling Sarah looking hopefully over Jason's shoulder, Harry laughed softly. "Oh all right. Since you both asked so nicely and all."

"Yay."

"Of course, I do have _one_ condition."

Jason was fairly sure he knew what this was going to be, and he looked sadly at his girlfriend's long blonde hair. "What are you going to do, Harry?"

Harry twirled his wand. "Black with bronze stripes. You know, for Ravenclaw."

Sarah just rolled her eyes. "I was beginning to feel like the odd one out anyway."

Maddy was admiring Sarah's hair. "This is so cool. Why couldn't you do something like this with mine, Harry? Instead of just red?"

"What colour stripes would you like, Maddy?"

"Hm...Either black or white. You pick."

"Both, then."

"Lovely," Sarah said with a laugh. "Simply adorable."

"Quite," Harry murmured. "Now, if you'll both excuse me, I have to run away before I get kidnapped by a vengeful Potions Master and his wife."

* * *

After a quick conversation with Blaise that had assured him that once dinner was over and they'd detoured to the Slytherin Common Room (and more specifically, the showers) he and Draco would meet him in the library, Harry had grabbed the two closest Gryffindors and almost ran back to the Tower.

Neither Hermione nor Neville really minded, and they knew that the others probably wouldn't be too far behind.

This left the three of them lounging on the couch closest to the fire, chatting idly about nothing - mainly as Hermione and Neville weren't stupid enough to bring up the prank on Draco or the one pending on Harry.

"'Mione, I want to match your hair."

For his random comment, Harry received a raised eyebrow from the girl in question and a snort from Neville.

"How do you mean?" she asked him warily.

For an answer, Harry gave her silver stripes. "Can I have some green tips?"

Laughing, she complied. "What made you do that?"

"Sarah and Maddy. I gave Sarah stripes, Maddy whined, so I gave Maddy stripes. Then I ran away."

Hermione looked down at her watch, noting that dinner was still half an hour off ending, and knowing that none of their fellow Gryffindors were likely to leave the spectacle of Draco Malfoy in a box with something evil, sticky and yellow until the Slytherin was let down. She gave Neville a nod.

"All right Harry, spill. What the hell is going on with you, Seamus, Malfoy and Zabini?" the purple haired boy demanded.

Harry poked his tongue out at him. "We discussed this earlier, Nev. I ain't saying a thing."

"Oh really?" Hermione inquired, a smug note in her voice. "Harry dearest, I'm afraid you don't have a choice. Or would you prefer I out you to the wizarding press?"

He stared at her in utter horror. "Oh 'Mione, you _wouldn't_!"

She raised an eyebrow. "Wouldn't I?"

Harry looked desperately at Neville, who just smirked at him in a very un-Neville like way. "You two are just plain evil," he informed them. "And what makes you think that there's something going on worth knowing about anyway?"

Neville snorted. "Harry, if there was nothing more to it than just working with Moony in this prank war, you four wouldn't need to spend so much time hiding from us."

"_Please_ tell us, Harry?" Hermione begged.

He sighed. "That was mean. Really, it's just Seamus trying to set me up again."

"With Malfoy?" Neville asked in surprise. "Or with Zabini?"

"That's obvious," said a smug Hermione. "Seamus wants Zabini for himself, of course." She then narrowed her eyes at Harry. "But that's not _quite_ it, is it?"

Harry gave her a very serious look. "No 'Mione, it's not. But I'm afraid I can't tell you any more than that. If I did, I would then have to kill you."

"Oh fine," she huffed. "But don't think we wont find out, Harry James. We'll be watching you."

"Yes, you _and_ your little henchmen," Harry said innocently.

Hermione gaped at him. "You know about that?"

"Of course. I know everything."

She just rolled her eyes, stood up and moved to the other side of the Common Room to do some homework in peace.

Neville just looked pointedly at Harry. "You four are setting up Ron and 'Mione, aren't you."

"Yep!" Harry confirmed cheerfully. "Well, along with Moony. And we _tried_ asking Siri and Sam for help, but their idea backfired. But we have a plan now."

"You do?"

"Sure. For this weekend, in fact."

"Hogsmeade?"

"Hogsmeade."

* * *

In a rather un-Gryffindor display of cowardice, Seamus had opted not to join Blaise, Jason and Pansy in reclaiming Draco from Sam and Severus's clutches. Instead, he had left with his Housemates for Gryffindor Tower.

If he was going to be honest, Blaise couldn't really blame the pink haired blond. When he chose to be, Draco Malfoy could be an incredibly intimidating individual. And there was no doubt in Blaise's mind that this was going to be one of those times.

The three of them, followed by the wary Sarah and Maddy, made their way to the front of the Hall, where Sam was carefully lowering the box to the ground. Once it was down, she waved her wand and it vanished, leaving Draco oozing what looked like sticky rice bubbles onto the ground.

Jason turned from his friend and raised an eyebrow at her. "You realise, don't you, that he may actually kill you for messing with his hair?"

Sam shrugged, grinning brightly. "Doesn't bother me, really. All's fair in pranks and war, and all that."

"Isn't that _love_ and war?" Maddy inquired.

"It can be, if you prefer." She looked over at where Draco had stolen Pansy's robes and was being forcibly pulled out of the Hall. "Uh, if you'd excuse me, guys, I have to leave. Fast. Before Draco gets away from Blaise and strangles me with my own tail."

Maddy rolled her eyes, waved the woman off, resisted the urge to pull the aforementioned tail, and she and Jason joined the others in escorting Draco down to the Common Room.

* * *

"I have an idea," Harry said suddenly.

"Do we even want to know?" Hermione asked, looking up from her homework.

"Probably not, no." He stood up. "You guys will have to excuse me. When he gets here, tell Seamus to head down to the library, okay?"

Neville sighed and nodded. "All right, but first tell us where you're going."

"Kitchens," Harry replied, as unhelpfully as possible. "Don't worry, you'll see why in the morning."

He waved at them as he left the Common Room, then once he had moved from the Fat Lady's line of sight, transformed into a cat and ran down to the kitchens as fast as possible.

* * *

"Have we got everything?"

"Yes, I think so."

"And you know exactly what you're going to do?"

"Of course."

"Are we going to get out of this alive?"

"Doubtfully."

"Is it just me, or is there a cat in the corner?"

"It's not just you. Harry, stop eavesdropping this instant. Don't make me have to hurt you tomorrow."

"Meow."

"Brat. Go on, stop cheating. You'll find out tomorrow morning."

"Er, Sev, love?"

"Sam?"

"Perhaps we should head back to our rooms."

"What a wonderful idea. I think after we finish plotting the demise of Harry, we could..." Whispers.

"Mrow!"

Laughter. "Sev, you scared him off!"

"But of course, my dear. After all, what teenage boy wants to hear about his professor's sex life?"

"None of them, I hope. Particularly when a tail is involved."

"I'm a little teapot, short and stout."

"Oh dear lord..."

"Sev?"

"Yes?"

"Here is my handle, here is my spout."

"We are _not_ following through on what you said to scare Harry off. Not with those things singing...or snoring."

Sighs. "I thought as much."

"When I get all steamed up, hear me shout."

"I hate this, Sam."

"I know. Nursery rhymes were designed to send adults into intense therapy, I swear."

"Just tip me over, and pour me out."

* * *

By the time he reached the kitchens, Harry had managed to erase the mental images Severus's words had conjured in his mind, but knew his eye was twitching slightly as he turned back into a human.

"Oh, they are _so_ going down," he muttered, tickling the pear.

The portrait swung open, and Harry stepped into the kitchen, preparing to be assaulted.

He was not disappointed, and just barely managed to keep on his feet as Dobby careened into him. "Harry Potter sir!"

"Hello Dobby."

"What can Dobby do for you, Harry Potter?"

"Just a small favour. I was wondering if you would be so kind as to serve lime green jelly with breakfast, lunch and dinner for the next two or three days?"

"Of course! Dobby will be happy to!"

Harry smirked. "Excellent."

* * *

Blaise, Pansy and Maddy were perched on Blaise's bed, while Jason stretched out on his own with Sarah sitting by his side.

They had, somehow, managed to not race into the bathroom at Draco's first enraged scream, mainly as it was followed by a barrage of curses directed at Severus and Sam.

Finally, he emerged, wearing nothing but a towel (which left Maddy and Sarah blushing), a second around his head.

"Draco?" Pansy tried, tentatively placing a hand on his damp shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"Okay?" he asked blankly. "_Okay_! How can I be _okay_? Look what they've done!" With that, he whipped the towel from his head, revealing...

"Oh my god," Jason murmured, sitting up with wide eyes fixed on Draco's hair. "Oh my god."

"Exactly." Draco's voice was flat, worrying them all.

"Draco," Maddy said finally. "You've still got...stuff...in your hair."

"I noticed," he said sarcastically. "It won't wash out, no matter what I do."

Blaise sighed. "How about I find you some clothes. Harry's waiting in the library."

Draco went pale, but didn't speak.

Taking this as agreement, Blaise opened Draco's top drawer...and slammed it shut again. "Oh, shit," he sighed.

Pansy, who had seen what Blaise had, noticed a sheet of parchment on Draco's bed and picked it up. She read it silently and passed it to Blaise.

"'Dear Draco,'" he read aloud. "'As we're sure you've noticed, our little invention won't come out of your hair. The same goes for your clothes, as we've filled your drawers and wardrobe with it. Feel free to borrow from your friends, though. Oh, and we've named them the 'Evil Sticky Yellow Coco Pops of Doom'. They're banana flavoured. Enjoy. Love Sam & Sev'."

"Oh," Draco said quietly. "I see."

Blaise put the note on his bed, found Draco some of his own clothes, and sent him back into the bathroom to change.

"He's going to kill them, isn't he," Sarah stated.

Jason just nodded.

* * *

Harry had transformed back into a human not too far from the library, and jogged the rest of the way.

He pushed open the door, seeing Seamus reading a book at their regular table.

Something grabbed him from behind.

He struggled, but the hold was too strong.

Finally, he gave in.

"You suck, Sevvie."

Severus just chuckled.

Sam moved into his line of sight and grinned at him. "Ready to prepare for your big day tomorrow, little Harrykins?"

His eyes narrowed. "You mean I don't even get to spend the night in my own bed?"

"Nope."

"So much for your note, then."

"So we lied a little. Get over it."

"What about - "

"Don't worry, your friends will be told where you are," she assured him. "They won't be left thinking Voldie's gotten you."

"That's...kind of a relief...damn, I really wish I hadn't left Herring in the Common Room."

"You want a fish?" Severus asked him, confused.

Harry sighed. "No, I want a snake with hallucinogenic toxin, actually."

"Sadly, you're not getting one."

"I've got one."

"Not with you."

"True. Bastard fell asleep during dinner anyway, some help he is."

"And he's named after a fish?" Sam asked him.

"Yeah. Confused mother, apparently."

"Ah."

* * *

Seamus was the first to arrive at the library, and ended up reading Quidditch Through the Ages for a while until Draco and Blaise arrived.

As he was not completely stupid, he refrained from commenting on Draco's hair and clothes.

"They've gone far enough," the coco-pop-haired blond stated as he joined Seamus at the table. "I can't help but worry for Harry, though."

"Speaking of," Blaise said as he sat down. "Where is he?"

Seamus shrugged. "He told 'Mione and Nev that he was going to the kitchens and to tell me to come here. I haven't seen him."

"Think Sam and Severus have him?" Draco asked.

"It's more than likely," Blaise agreed with a nod.

As if hearing their conversation - and perhaps the senders had - a note appeared on the table.

They stared at it.

"Is anyone going to read that?" Seamus asked distantly.

"I've already read one," Blaise told him.

"I'd just as soon let one of you do it," Draco admitted.

Seamus picked it up, sighing. "'Dear Blaise, Draco and Seamus,'" he began. "'As we're sure you have already guessed, we have kidnapped Harry in order to bring about our lovely prank on him. This prank will happen tomorrow at breakfast, at which time you may take Harry back to his dorm in order to find some more suitable clothing. Of course, he may need to borrow from someone about the same size as him, as his clothing may not be wearable. We just thought we'd let you know that he wasn't taken by Voldemort. A similar letter will be delivered to Hermione and the other Gryffindors to stop them worrying too. Love Sam & Sev'."

They were silent.

"Stop us worrying?" Draco muttered finally. "Yeah _right_!"

"Well, at least we know who has him," Blaise said, trying to look on the bright side. "And, you know, that it's not someone like Voldemort...or Dumbledore, for that matter."

"I guess," Seamus agreed reluctantly. "We'd probably better make sure we're early to breakfast, though. We won't want to miss it."

"And after it's done, we can get them back," Draco added. "And make them suffer."

* * *

Hermione was startled when a sheet of parchment appeared atop her Charms essay.

_'Dear Hermione and other sixth year Gryffies. This is just a quick note to let you know that Harry won't be returning to Gryffindor Tower tonight, as we have kidnapped him in order to prank him tomorrow morning. Love Sam & Sev.'_

She sighed and stood up. It would probably be a good idea to give the note to the boys, and to tell Lavender and Parvati what it said.

Not to mention that someone would have to tell Herring, so the snake didn't worry unduly.

* * *

Sorry I didn't get to pranking Harry in this chapter, but I think the story got away from me…

Oh, and I actually had to do a google search to find out the second half of the words to I'm a Little Tea Pot. Sad, ne? Ah well.

Caed – Heh, thank you.

mercyangel – Aw, thanks, and I'm sure Sam will…leave them alive…glad you liked it.

Semma – Heh, thanks. Yeah I could have died Draco's hair, again, but this worked better…

I-Shave-Clowns – Er…(blushes) thanks. And you were right, Bobby-Top-Hat is quite happy to spend all his time cleaning ovens, though he occasionally makes balloon animals and then accidentally pops them with the steel wool.

Morsus – Glad I helped with work!

dreamerdoll – Thanks. They'll _enjoy_ getting their revenge, believe me.

fifespice – Yep, Herring is what I called my pewter snake. I don't remember exactly why…hope you enjoyed the chapter.

Blackdrak – Oh yes, Sam and Sev are a scary combo. Thank you.

Ranma Higurashi – Heh, thanks!

Kurai Shinigami – Meep. Thank you. Glad you enjoyed it. Meep.

LoonyLoopyLisa – Glad you like Herring. Herring is glad about this also. Thanks.

Sapphire Dragons – Oh, I hate it when I fall out of my chair with laughter. Can be quite embarrassing. Worries my mother. Glad you enjoyed it.

Lil Irish QT – Heh, well, you can see Draco is also to be sympathised with…

Yashaness – I'd reply, but I think your review got cut off somehow…

NephyRiddle – Why thank you.

Infinate13 – Ta!

jacobimvontyluss – I also love funny stories…and Abandon, for that matter. Ah yes, Monty Python can have serious effects on a person's perception of the word herring…I'm afraid I even made letters out of streamers and stuck the word HERRING to the walls during my birthday party this year…

madden – Glad you liked.

safire flame – Thank you!

Lady-Crymsyn – Thanks!

mlovektowsing – Thanks, and, well, not exactly soon, but kinda…?

DeppDRACOmaniac – Hee hee, I said that a few weeks ago too! They were, in fact, self-professed minions. And yep, Herring is against Monty Python simply for that reason. Silly snake.

TheSniggleRulz – Hey…my relationship with herrings is completely healthy…thanks for that review, I laughed quite hard when I read it.

cyanideyoudrank – Thanks, I'm glad you like it. Yeah yeah I know, the slash is taking _ages,_ but, well…(shrugs) what can I say? The story rules me, not me it…

Carrie H Potter – Thanks!

mars explorer – Glad you liked it, and _really_ glad you clarified the B/S and H/D thing. I thought that was probably what you meant, though. And as for Sam's ears…heh.

heartofgold07 – Heh, thanks.

Shinigami – Well, Sevvie will lower himself to dark colours, like dark shades of purple, blue and green, but when he has no choice…sometimes, the lighter ones must be considered. Herring appreciates your sympathy. Nev and Pans, you'll have to wait and see. Draco's uncle…I think I can probably bring him in. shouldn't be too hard at all…(plots). And guys in tutus…oh dear. Apparently a couple of guys my friend knows are going to dress up in the uniforms of a nearby girls school at the end of the year…I want to see pictures.

Draeconin – Glad you liked, and as I'd been considering it, I took your suggestion and pulled the replies down here.

FoundersChild1 – Thanks, and oh dear. Hopefully you didn't get drink on the computer.

rebecca85 – Glad you're only slightly confused now. They're in their sixth year, so they're either 16 or 17, depending on which student. As for the spells…er…no idea. There was a vague idea to do something weird with Harry's magic, but I don't know if I'm going to go ahead with that – there's enough plot elements in here as it is.

Ginny13A - Thanks!

AndromedaDarlik – Thank you.

serafina pekala – Thank you, I'm glad you liked it. Well, Sirius, Sam and Minerva are Harry's official godparents, Remus is sort of considered one. Sev is Draco's godfather, though I don't know whether I've mentioned that in the fic.

frodobeutlin – Thanks.

Cher – Heh heh, thank you. Glad you liked.

MimiTaylor – Thank you. Sorry you're getting impatient, but we're getting there, promise!

Shakespeares Whore – Oh, er, heh. Thank you, so much. I'm glad you like it so much.

brighid's flame – Okay.

GCandTKandFF.Nobsession – Oh my. Where to start! Well, thank you. Very much. And I'm glad you like Sam. Thanks for pointing out where I forgot Harry's hair colour. It's not the first time I've done it…really must pay more attention to what I'm writing. Leather _does_ rule. Yep, Sam is _definitely _involved.

AubreyElla – Late reviews are never any less appreciated. Especially as you've only just read the fic! Glad you like it, and my Harry. He's nuts, but it's a good nuts!

Thanks again guys!

* * *

SAM: Oh, I can't wait until we've gotten to prank Harry!

SEVERUS: Neither can I. It should certainly be fun.

SAM: Fun indeed.

BOTH: Mwahahahahahahahaha!

HARRY: (Hiding in corner) Oh, this is bad, this is very, very bad.

DRACO: My hair…my beautiful hair…

SYLVAN: Don't you _dare_ go and get green slime all over the place!

DRACO: (Sniffs) I wasn't planning on it…

LUCIUS: That's a relief.

REMUS: (Hiding in another corner, eying Harry)

SIRIUS: Remy? What's wrong?

REMUS: (Twitches) Feathers. Dusting. Bad. Herring. Pie. Badder.

SIRIUS: Er…Harry? I think you broke him.

HARRY: Oops.

VOLDEMORT: Why can't I be in the actual story?

TOM: We've been over this. You can be in it _later_. Maybe.

VOLDEMORT: But –

NARCISSA: Do stop arguing, milord. We both know you can't be in it yet. It's mostly in Hogwarts, and I don't think SW wants to have us try to take over.

VOLDEMORT: Evan got to torture Lucius. That's not fair.

BELLATRIX: And I'm still in Azkaban with Rodolphus and Rabastan. How fair is _that_?

VOLDEMORT: I see your point.

SEVERUS: You'll have to excuse us, we have some evil plotting to do.

SAM: And how fun it shall be. Severus? Grab Harry.

HARRY: (Runs) Nooooo!

SEVERUS: Why do they always run?

Heh.

Hope you enjoyed.

Please review and let me know!

_S. Wolf_


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